Today, I came across something on the internet that said:
Pick Up the Book Nearest to You and Turn to Page 45. The first complete sentence describe your sex life.
I chuckled and thought, yeah right! ...but I did it anyway even though there was a pile of books for youth. You can bet I was shocked how accurate this was.
Book 1: Aliens on Vacation by Clete Barrett Smith
Page 45: Oh no. ** too true
I decided to try a few.
Book 2: The Vanishing Coin by Kate Egan
Page 45: He noticed the welcome mat again. **not sure who "he" is & who might be welcomed again.
Book 3: The Giver by Lois Lowry
Page 45: But only one. **very good advice
Book 4: Diary of a Wimpy Kid #8
Page 45: Ok, you know things are bad when even your little brother has more friends than you. **sad
Book 5: Elvis & Olive by Stephanie Watson
Page 45: Oops! **Yes, I figured that out by now.
Book 6; Nancy Drew Diaries, Curse of the Arctic Star by Carolyn Keene
Page 45: She hit the button on the keyboard and grimaced. *is this because I am avoiding online dating?
Well, there you have it. Perhaps the answer is to check out different books in the library.
Showing posts with label dating. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dating. Show all posts
Sunday, September 13, 2015
Monday, May 04, 2015
Modern Chivalry
My dating life is about as boring as EVER. ...yes, that means that I am NOT dating at all. If I ever find someone that peaks my interest, I'll definitely make time for him. However, checking out a million random guys in an effort to find a good date seems like a gigantic process with little reward. For now, I am leaving it up to destiny/fate/a PURE miracle or to a time when I change my mind about that.
The one thing that I have noticed over the (almost) 6 years as a single mom is that guys from the past like to make contact and catch up. I am beginning to believe that guys are more nostalgic than women and that they just might have better memories than we give them credit for (better than I do anyway). When it comes to this, Facebook has really changed the world. I would never have guessed that a guy I was casual friends with over 20 years ago would private message me to "catch up."
I am not sure what to make of it, but I have noticed their similarities:
1. None of them live anywhere near me (not even in this huge state of Texas or a surrounding state).
2. They are all on their second marriage.
3. They all had AWFUL first marriages - their ex-wive's fault of course. They shared a few stories & I believe them.
4. They all seemed happy in their second marriage, but haven't bragged about their current wife.
5. They remember much more about me than I remember about them.
6. They considered us closer friends that I did.
7. They told me that they saw my picture and I still look the same/am beautiful.
8. They all told me that they had a crush or really liked me back in the day.
9. These catch-up sessions seem to last a few weeks and then taper off.
Only one or two suggested anything inappropriate. Mostly, they have been really respectful and genuinely kind. I am wondering if this is modern chivalry. They must know that divorce can blow self-esteem out of the water. I certainly don't fish for compliments or go out of my way to make it known that I am single. They probably notice that I use my maiden name. This catching-up could be their good deed and a way for them to share their woes for a little therapy. I like to remind them to spoil their current wife.
The one thing that I have noticed over the (almost) 6 years as a single mom is that guys from the past like to make contact and catch up. I am beginning to believe that guys are more nostalgic than women and that they just might have better memories than we give them credit for (better than I do anyway). When it comes to this, Facebook has really changed the world. I would never have guessed that a guy I was casual friends with over 20 years ago would private message me to "catch up."
I am not sure what to make of it, but I have noticed their similarities:
1. None of them live anywhere near me (not even in this huge state of Texas or a surrounding state).
2. They are all on their second marriage.
3. They all had AWFUL first marriages - their ex-wive's fault of course. They shared a few stories & I believe them.
4. They all seemed happy in their second marriage, but haven't bragged about their current wife.
5. They remember much more about me than I remember about them.
6. They considered us closer friends that I did.
7. They told me that they saw my picture and I still look the same/am beautiful.
8. They all told me that they had a crush or really liked me back in the day.
9. These catch-up sessions seem to last a few weeks and then taper off.
Only one or two suggested anything inappropriate. Mostly, they have been really respectful and genuinely kind. I am wondering if this is modern chivalry. They must know that divorce can blow self-esteem out of the water. I certainly don't fish for compliments or go out of my way to make it known that I am single. They probably notice that I use my maiden name. This catching-up could be their good deed and a way for them to share their woes for a little therapy. I like to remind them to spoil their current wife.
Saturday, February 14, 2015
Happy Valentine's Day
I am still very single. I can't even remember when my last date was, but I love Valentine's Day anyway. I hope this day makes everyone smile because not all love is romantic. It would be nice to be a special someone 's Valentine, but it is also nice to just be happy & loving.
I made cute cards for my kids to take to school and decided to share them here.
Tuesday, July 08, 2014
Friday, July 15, 2011
Two Months In Texas
Today marks the two month anniversary of our return to grand ol Texas! Yeehaw! What’s not to love???? Overall, I can say that I am thrilled to be back, but it hasn’t been all dreamy easy. Basically, it is a mix of inner peace/pure happiness and worry/adjusting.
Adjusting hasn’t been an issue for me specifically. In fact, right as we were first pulling in I felt like I’d never left. Two years flew by. Everything is familiar and my friends all look the same. Their kids had grown up a lot, but that didn’t take long to get used to. My house feels normal too. Mostly, I just put things back the way they were. The sad part is that the house needs quite a few minor repairs and I just have to be patient while I get other things going so I can get to it. Lexi & Jordan have been trying to adjust though. They have loved being back, but they get sentimental now and then when they think about their grandparents or my sister.
Another issue is money. Isn’t it always though? Money is extremely tight (actually slipping back a little), but promising. In addition to my job, I have two clients that keep me jumping. Once those take off, I am looking forward to the cash flow improving. They both seem quite happy and I know I will be able to work better once school starts and there are more moments of quiet around here.
I guess another topic is my social life, which involves friends. I love being around old friends. I have quite a few here. There is just something too special about someone who knows you over more than two decades. They know my family and who I really am. It is comforting and still fun.
My love life is exactly where I want it to be, which is essentially nowhere with a little twist. The kids and I have gone on three play dates with that guy and his kids that I mentioned in the last post. He is SOOOO nice. He doesn’t want to date yet because his divorce isn’t finalized, which I think is the right thing to do. Plus, he is clearly suffering from heartache in the emotional rollercoaster of divorce. He wants and needs a friend just as much as I do. Although I am sad he is going through this, I am very comfortable with our platonic friendship that involves a little flirting. I quite enjoy talking to him too. I think this friendship is therapeutic for both of us.
Not bad or boring for two months of my life. In one more month and a few days, my little Lexi will be starting kindergarten. More adjustments with life moving onward.
Adjusting hasn’t been an issue for me specifically. In fact, right as we were first pulling in I felt like I’d never left. Two years flew by. Everything is familiar and my friends all look the same. Their kids had grown up a lot, but that didn’t take long to get used to. My house feels normal too. Mostly, I just put things back the way they were. The sad part is that the house needs quite a few minor repairs and I just have to be patient while I get other things going so I can get to it. Lexi & Jordan have been trying to adjust though. They have loved being back, but they get sentimental now and then when they think about their grandparents or my sister.
Another issue is money. Isn’t it always though? Money is extremely tight (actually slipping back a little), but promising. In addition to my job, I have two clients that keep me jumping. Once those take off, I am looking forward to the cash flow improving. They both seem quite happy and I know I will be able to work better once school starts and there are more moments of quiet around here.
I guess another topic is my social life, which involves friends. I love being around old friends. I have quite a few here. There is just something too special about someone who knows you over more than two decades. They know my family and who I really am. It is comforting and still fun.
My love life is exactly where I want it to be, which is essentially nowhere with a little twist. The kids and I have gone on three play dates with that guy and his kids that I mentioned in the last post. He is SOOOO nice. He doesn’t want to date yet because his divorce isn’t finalized, which I think is the right thing to do. Plus, he is clearly suffering from heartache in the emotional rollercoaster of divorce. He wants and needs a friend just as much as I do. Although I am sad he is going through this, I am very comfortable with our platonic friendship that involves a little flirting. I quite enjoy talking to him too. I think this friendship is therapeutic for both of us.
Not bad or boring for two months of my life. In one more month and a few days, my little Lexi will be starting kindergarten. More adjustments with life moving onward.
Wednesday, July 06, 2011
No Feminine Allure
Out of the people that I know who read my blog, I am not sure there are many that have experienced what I feel like revealing tonight. Sadly, when someone has gone through a rather long spell without any type of romantic connection, they begin to see themselves as non-attractive. I realize that it sounds like I am referring to some steamy passionate entanglement, but I am really talking about ANY type of interaction like flirting.
Logically speaking, I understand that I have chosen to spend the last (almost) year as close to nun-hood as possible. It isn’t the first time. Well, I take that back. I highly doubt that I have ever shunned the dating scene for an entire year. I was 30 when I got married, so the single life is something that I am thoroughly familiar with. I took quite a few breaks (several months long) back in the pre-marriage days. Breathers can be nice.
In many ways, choosing the life of a quasi-nun can feel very liberating and can be a time of great introspection. There are a lot of things that need my focus right now and I barely feel like I am keeping up. Sometimes, one more thing gets thrown into my life and it feels overwhelming.
Plus, I absolutely don’t like the whole fakeness of first dates and chit chatting with strangers who may or may not want to spend the rest of their lives being in love. It’s just not at all appealing right now. Granted, there isn’t an abundance of single men in any of the activities or hang-outs that I spend time at. In fact, mostly I see lots of moms. I rarely see any men (married or not). Truthfully, my chances of even bumping into single men are pretty low. I live in the suburbs. I only do kid/family-friendly activities. I work from home so I don’t even see my colleagues or meet many new people.
On a highly depressing note, living a nun-ish life leads a girl to feel like no normal guy could possibly be interested in her. I wonder if I am even capable of getting a guy’s attention, assuming that I would actually find one that I am interested in. I’ve forgotten how to flirt, if I ever really knew. For the sake of this rambling post, let’s pretend somehow I could get his attention. Then, what? My life is consumed by my kids and work. I would have to dig deep to even remember other interests in an attempt to carry on even one fascinating conversation.
Alas, this circle of self doubt and complete disinterest in dating will continue for the time being. Mostly, I know that it is best for me right now. However, I’d just love a little flirtatious smile or harmless wink from a half-way handsome single man near my age to signal that perhaps just maybe I still got it.
**Update: After writing this post last night, I took the kids to the pool today and happened to get what I wished for. There were a few dads there. One who was holding a baby & had two other kids started talking to me. I thought that his wife was probably on one of the beach chairs. He asked, "What do ya'll do for a living?" I told him that I am divorced and then about my work. I asked him what he does & he said that he is currently going through a divorce. Our kids played and we had a nice time. He shared a few things, but said it was hard to talk with the kids. I was friendly, but not divulging much. Before he left, he politely asked for my number to see if we could schedule a play date for the kids. Pretty harmless, right? How could someone refuse that? -- I don't know if we'll ever get together. It would be nice to have a friend. The best part of this was finding out that I am not repulsive.
Logically speaking, I understand that I have chosen to spend the last (almost) year as close to nun-hood as possible. It isn’t the first time. Well, I take that back. I highly doubt that I have ever shunned the dating scene for an entire year. I was 30 when I got married, so the single life is something that I am thoroughly familiar with. I took quite a few breaks (several months long) back in the pre-marriage days. Breathers can be nice.
In many ways, choosing the life of a quasi-nun can feel very liberating and can be a time of great introspection. There are a lot of things that need my focus right now and I barely feel like I am keeping up. Sometimes, one more thing gets thrown into my life and it feels overwhelming.
Plus, I absolutely don’t like the whole fakeness of first dates and chit chatting with strangers who may or may not want to spend the rest of their lives being in love. It’s just not at all appealing right now. Granted, there isn’t an abundance of single men in any of the activities or hang-outs that I spend time at. In fact, mostly I see lots of moms. I rarely see any men (married or not). Truthfully, my chances of even bumping into single men are pretty low. I live in the suburbs. I only do kid/family-friendly activities. I work from home so I don’t even see my colleagues or meet many new people.
On a highly depressing note, living a nun-ish life leads a girl to feel like no normal guy could possibly be interested in her. I wonder if I am even capable of getting a guy’s attention, assuming that I would actually find one that I am interested in. I’ve forgotten how to flirt, if I ever really knew. For the sake of this rambling post, let’s pretend somehow I could get his attention. Then, what? My life is consumed by my kids and work. I would have to dig deep to even remember other interests in an attempt to carry on even one fascinating conversation.
Alas, this circle of self doubt and complete disinterest in dating will continue for the time being. Mostly, I know that it is best for me right now. However, I’d just love a little flirtatious smile or harmless wink from a half-way handsome single man near my age to signal that perhaps just maybe I still got it.
**Update: After writing this post last night, I took the kids to the pool today and happened to get what I wished for. There were a few dads there. One who was holding a baby & had two other kids started talking to me. I thought that his wife was probably on one of the beach chairs. He asked, "What do ya'll do for a living?" I told him that I am divorced and then about my work. I asked him what he does & he said that he is currently going through a divorce. Our kids played and we had a nice time. He shared a few things, but said it was hard to talk with the kids. I was friendly, but not divulging much. Before he left, he politely asked for my number to see if we could schedule a play date for the kids. Pretty harmless, right? How could someone refuse that? -- I don't know if we'll ever get together. It would be nice to have a friend. The best part of this was finding out that I am not repulsive.
Friday, January 14, 2011
Excuse #4 for Not Dating
Excuse #4:
I guess this one is mostly about not feeling quite whole/having self-doubt. Right now, I don't have a lot to offer.
1. I have some debts to pay off. Divorce isn't exactly cheap and child support hasn't been steady. I am scraping by some months.
2. I am living with my mom and step-dad, which isn't something I feel like explaining to a potential partner (just the internet world here - whole other post).
3. Giving my time isn't even easy. One of the most productive blocks of time for working is in the evening after the kids are in bed. The rest of my time is devoted to them.
4. It is tough to have meaningful telephone conversations when the kids are always getting into something or bickering in the background. If it is difficult to talk to my friends that are moms, how would it work with a guy that I am interested in?
5. Being a single mom is exhausting and leaves little energy for anything else.
I could probably come up with a long list, but basically it comes down to the fact that I would like someone very special or nobody. I don't feel like I have a lot to share or the ability to attract the right guy at this time, so I'd rather be alone.
I guess this one is mostly about not feeling quite whole/having self-doubt. Right now, I don't have a lot to offer.
1. I have some debts to pay off. Divorce isn't exactly cheap and child support hasn't been steady. I am scraping by some months.
2. I am living with my mom and step-dad, which isn't something I feel like explaining to a potential partner (just the internet world here - whole other post).
3. Giving my time isn't even easy. One of the most productive blocks of time for working is in the evening after the kids are in bed. The rest of my time is devoted to them.
4. It is tough to have meaningful telephone conversations when the kids are always getting into something or bickering in the background. If it is difficult to talk to my friends that are moms, how would it work with a guy that I am interested in?
5. Being a single mom is exhausting and leaves little energy for anything else.
I could probably come up with a long list, but basically it comes down to the fact that I would like someone very special or nobody. I don't feel like I have a lot to share or the ability to attract the right guy at this time, so I'd rather be alone.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Excuse #3 for Not Dating
Excuse #3:
I don't meet dateable men in my daily life. My normal week involves entertaining the kids, working from home, a little grocery shopping, and working out at the YMCA. Plus, the best time for us to go to the YMCA is 10 am to noon. The only other people there at that time are stay-at-home moms and senior citizens. Of course, I see single dads at the zoo or Sea World when I take the kids on the weekend. For me, it doesn’t feel right to flirt or show interest in those circumstances.
The only other option is online dating. Although I have a few on-line profiles and get some interesting responses, I just can’t get excited out it. Mainly, I realize that you can tell a lot about a person within minutes of meeting them in person. Exchanging e-mails, telephone numbers, and texts before you even know if you are interested is a slightly uncomfortable method. I am not opposed to it, but just not motivated to do it at this point.
I don't meet dateable men in my daily life. My normal week involves entertaining the kids, working from home, a little grocery shopping, and working out at the YMCA. Plus, the best time for us to go to the YMCA is 10 am to noon. The only other people there at that time are stay-at-home moms and senior citizens. Of course, I see single dads at the zoo or Sea World when I take the kids on the weekend. For me, it doesn’t feel right to flirt or show interest in those circumstances.
The only other option is online dating. Although I have a few on-line profiles and get some interesting responses, I just can’t get excited out it. Mainly, I realize that you can tell a lot about a person within minutes of meeting them in person. Exchanging e-mails, telephone numbers, and texts before you even know if you are interested is a slightly uncomfortable method. I am not opposed to it, but just not motivated to do it at this point.
Monday, January 10, 2011
Excuse #2 for Not Dating
Excuse #2:
California is just a pit stop in my life. Ok, so it is two years in limbo land. I don't plan to stay here and really have no desire to make strong ties with anyone. I realize that two years is a long time for a pit stop, but there it is... I see it as temporary.
Along that note - This morning, I got a call from my tenant in Texas. They are looking for a house and would like to know if I would be willing to let them out of their lease early (6 months left). I would LOVE to, but the timing isn't right at all for me. I am sure that my company isn’t ready to talk about full time yet. I want it & they want it. How torturous is that?
California is just a pit stop in my life. Ok, so it is two years in limbo land. I don't plan to stay here and really have no desire to make strong ties with anyone. I realize that two years is a long time for a pit stop, but there it is... I see it as temporary.
Along that note - This morning, I got a call from my tenant in Texas. They are looking for a house and would like to know if I would be willing to let them out of their lease early (6 months left). I would LOVE to, but the timing isn't right at all for me. I am sure that my company isn’t ready to talk about full time yet. I want it & they want it. How torturous is that?
Excuse #1 for Not Dating
Recently, I have become friends with a few people that are single parents. While part of me completely loves this status more than I should, I also recognize that there is a small amount of loneliness in always being surrounded by two beautiful kids and not having someone to truly share our lives with. I just can't seem to get excited about dating though. I tried it for a few months about a year ago and decided to hold off. Lately, I feel the need to explore my reasoning. I plan to post some of my excuses (lame or not) over the next few days.
Excuse #1:
When you have kids, anything that isn't a great date is just a huge waste of time. I would much rather spend that time with my kids. Let's face it; most dates are just not worth it when you have something better to do. Being a mom means that I ALWAYS have something better going on.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Values Wheel
The other day, I read a magazine during my warm-up at the gym that had interesting advice. A psychologist was trying to explain to women how they can determine if I guy is relationship worthy. I agree that women can get twitterpated & forget the important things when it comes to love. She suggested that women should sit down and draw two circles, one inside the other.
In the inner circle, there should be a list of things she absolutely can't live without in a relationship. If a guy has the qualities in the inner circle and there are lots of mutual romantic feelings, he is relationship worthy. The outer circle should be a list of things that would be nice or a bonus. I think mainly that outer list is there because women like to give a guy they like the benefit of the doubt. It may be a way of acknowledging things that you like, but don't NEED.
I decided to make a Values Wheel. I came up with a few things for the inner & outer circles:
I actually think the outer circle should be created once you have someone you are thinking seriously about and just want to add their traits that you like. To be honest, I just think these kinds of tasks are more like fun little quizzes than actual decision assistance.
In the inner circle, there should be a list of things she absolutely can't live without in a relationship. If a guy has the qualities in the inner circle and there are lots of mutual romantic feelings, he is relationship worthy. The outer circle should be a list of things that would be nice or a bonus. I think mainly that outer list is there because women like to give a guy they like the benefit of the doubt. It may be a way of acknowledging things that you like, but don't NEED.
I decided to make a Values Wheel. I came up with a few things for the inner & outer circles:
I actually think the outer circle should be created once you have someone you are thinking seriously about and just want to add their traits that you like. To be honest, I just think these kinds of tasks are more like fun little quizzes than actual decision assistance.
Tuesday, November 02, 2010
Predatory Dating
Since my divorce, I have come across several chics in similar situations that are handling it quite differently. I like to call their approach to being single – predatory dating. It is the way I describe people (mostly women) that make getting married a number one priority.
I know 4 chics that got divorced about the same time or a bit after I did. Most of them had very valid reasons for getting divorced, which makes me a little sad with the whole marriage thing. All four of them have decided that they were going to get married again ASAP. It is like they are on some crazy mission. Two of them have succeeded so far. Another one is in a relationship with "the one." The last one, whose divorce wasn't finalized until the beginning of this summer, is dating up a storm. She goes out 3 - 5 times a week with different guys. I am guessing that it is only a matter of time for her.
I realize that predatory dating isn’t completely odd. Everyone knows someone that likes to jump from relationship to relationship with little down time. I honestly hope it works for all of them, but I worry that being in a hurry could lead to rash decisions. Like they say, “Permanent decisions should not be made on temporary feelings.” With such a deliberate agenda, how can they be sure that they are not making the same mistakes?
I guess jumping back into it might be healthier than going the other way like I am doing. I just can’t get excited about dating. How do single moms (especially full time moms like me) find the time or energy to even put themselves out there?
I know 4 chics that got divorced about the same time or a bit after I did. Most of them had very valid reasons for getting divorced, which makes me a little sad with the whole marriage thing. All four of them have decided that they were going to get married again ASAP. It is like they are on some crazy mission. Two of them have succeeded so far. Another one is in a relationship with "the one." The last one, whose divorce wasn't finalized until the beginning of this summer, is dating up a storm. She goes out 3 - 5 times a week with different guys. I am guessing that it is only a matter of time for her.
I realize that predatory dating isn’t completely odd. Everyone knows someone that likes to jump from relationship to relationship with little down time. I honestly hope it works for all of them, but I worry that being in a hurry could lead to rash decisions. Like they say, “Permanent decisions should not be made on temporary feelings.” With such a deliberate agenda, how can they be sure that they are not making the same mistakes?
I guess jumping back into it might be healthier than going the other way like I am doing. I just can’t get excited about dating. How do single moms (especially full time moms like me) find the time or energy to even put themselves out there?
Friday, June 04, 2010
Loving Vi-Carrie-ously
Since I am still pro-romance and mushy love, I have decided to just enjoy chic flicks. In light of that… Could there be a better time for the latest Sex In the City movie to come out? I think not! I have already seen it twice, which is really saying something since I rarely see any movies at the theater, especially non-kid ones. I can probably count about 5 movies I have seen over the last 4.5 years.
I know some people were not impressed with Sex In the City 2, but I love it because:
I know some people were not impressed with Sex In the City 2, but I love it because:
2. The gay wedding only further goes along with why I support gay marriage – amazing weddings that would do wonders to boost the economy. Talk about over the top...
3. I can’t stop singing, “If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it!” I may have just become a fan of Liza Minnelli.
4. I am a huge sucker for the Middle East. I was afraid that it would be more Morocco than Middle East, but they pulled it off beautifully (hollywoodish of course). Now, I want to go back for a visit. I am also dying to go to Morocco, but that has been a fantasy for a while and is un-related.
5. The wild fashion has made me want to go into a shopping frenzy. To be honest, there were LOTS of outfits that I did not like, but those probably inspire me to go shopping too. Perhaps, I should just admit that I like shopping for clothes. Maybe someday I’ll have money for that kind of spending.
6. The men in the movie are hot. I have always loved the talk dark & handsome look that BIG and Aidan so easily qualify for in different ways. Samantha’s two flings are pretty HOT too.
7. I don’t have any friends out here and no real desire to make any, but it is so fun to think about hanging out with the girls/long time friends. Maybe I need to take a trip so I can hang out with one of my old friends. Then again, I have a good one planning a vacation here in July.
8. The movie is a nice escape away from some of my stressors. Once in a while, I love movies that take your mind off of your own life.
I guess I’ll end the list there. Eight is an odd stopping point, but those just came flowing out. To add more to the list, I would have to really think and it is Friday. Plus, I have been working way too hard.
For now, I will leave the love life to Carrie and other characters in movies. Unless of course, the stars align and I get hit on by….
Or even…
Dream on, right?
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Secret to Women
This evening, my brother sent me a text. He found a girl that he really likes. He asked me to give him tips. He told me that she often says he is sweet, so I am guessing that she likes him. Under these circumstances, I think that women are pretty easy to sucker in. ☺
My advice is that girls love lots of little sentimental gestures like flowers, love notes, flirtatious texts, etc. I also told him that he should call her darling or sweetie. Basically, I think girls will put up with a lot if they are romanced in the little ways by a guy they like. If she doesn't have to put up with much, then he is even better off giving her that kind of attention.
Is there anything I forgot to tell him? What other things make nice girls go gaga (... & I don't mean Lady Gaga)?
My advice is that girls love lots of little sentimental gestures like flowers, love notes, flirtatious texts, etc. I also told him that he should call her darling or sweetie. Basically, I think girls will put up with a lot if they are romanced in the little ways by a guy they like. If she doesn't have to put up with much, then he is even better off giving her that kind of attention.
Is there anything I forgot to tell him? What other things make nice girls go gaga (... & I don't mean Lady Gaga)?
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Don’t Drink, Don’t Smoke, What Do You Do?
1. I live with my mom & step-dad
2. I work part time from home (very little money and no exciting “how was your day?” stories to share)
3. I have two small children, which makes finding time to date difficult and adds a much bigger commitment for any guy interested in a long term relationship
4. No time for current hobbies or other activities (non-kid oriented) to add an element of excitement to my life for discussions
A normal day for me consists of waking up between 6:30 and 7:00 am. I get the kids breakfast and check e-mails. Sometimes I have a little work that I have to do. We go to the YMCA from 10 am to noon, where I work out with other moms and lots of senior citizens. We get back around 12:30 and have lunch. Jordan takes a nap around 1, while Lexi does crafts and I take a shower and then work. That lasts until about 4pm. I work on making dinner or cleaning up the house until my mom and step-dad get home from work. We eat dinner and do a few things before I put the kids in bed between 7:30 and 8 pm. After they are asleep, I stay up working for about 3 hours.
See….all work and no play make Stephanie a dull girl and certainly not a fun date. Quite depressing!
Monday, March 08, 2010
Let Down
Some times coming home from a vacation feels so good. Other times, it is not fun to go back to reality. The kids and I had a great time in Utah. It was fun being around friends, catching up with people I hadn't seen in too long, having my kids play with other great kids, and just enjoying a change of scenery. Plus, I had so many more people that I wanted to catch up with, but didn't get a chance to.
Being back hasn't been exactly great. It didn't help that I came back to a big work deadline.
I especially miss my friend, Annette, whom I stayed it. I realize that I feel a little lonely here in California. It was amazing spending time with a best friend. I had someone cool to talk to every day.
Also, I actually met a nice guy while I was there. We went on 4 great dates and hit it off. I enjoyed being excited about a guy. A good looking nice guy is a rare thing, but I know how long distance relationships go. It is hard enough to have a regular relationship for single parents.
We are back now and getting into our normal routine. I have decided that it is time to really hit a few of my new year’s resolutions. I am back to loving the gym and eating healthy. I guess I can already check off the going on a date or two.
Being back hasn't been exactly great. It didn't help that I came back to a big work deadline.
I especially miss my friend, Annette, whom I stayed it. I realize that I feel a little lonely here in California. It was amazing spending time with a best friend. I had someone cool to talk to every day.
Also, I actually met a nice guy while I was there. We went on 4 great dates and hit it off. I enjoyed being excited about a guy. A good looking nice guy is a rare thing, but I know how long distance relationships go. It is hard enough to have a regular relationship for single parents.
We are back now and getting into our normal routine. I have decided that it is time to really hit a few of my new year’s resolutions. I am back to loving the gym and eating healthy. I guess I can already check off the going on a date or two.
Monday, January 25, 2010
It's Not You, It's Me *REALLY*
Prior to setting a goal to try online dating, I remembered how much I hated dating when I was single. I figured that I should give it a try though because I don't have any friends here in California and I still want to believe that I can find someone special to share my life with.
Well, I have gone on three dates and now vivid memories of exactly WHY I hate dating have been rushing in. All three guys were nice, decent looking, able to converse well, and very into me. The problem is that I just wasn't interested in being more than friends. Maybe that means that I am not ready to date, but more realistically I have never fallen quickly for anyone. Back to the problem - I had to tell them that I wasn't interested. I HATE doing that.
I consider myself a nice person. It is horrible to have to tell another nice person that you aren't as interested in them as they are in you. I always do my best to let them know right away in the nicest way possible. Being too nice about it though, often just encourages them to try harder. I need a great way to tell them that it just isn't going to happen without hurting them.
I have told them I just want to be friends, which was true. I just need a guy friend. That way I would have a friend, but not have to deal with all this. Oh and I don't mean a friend with benefits. I just want a guy to talk to and hang out with once in a while. Is that too much to ask? Probably...guys have a one track mind, right?
Well, I have gone on three dates and now vivid memories of exactly WHY I hate dating have been rushing in. All three guys were nice, decent looking, able to converse well, and very into me. The problem is that I just wasn't interested in being more than friends. Maybe that means that I am not ready to date, but more realistically I have never fallen quickly for anyone. Back to the problem - I had to tell them that I wasn't interested. I HATE doing that.
I consider myself a nice person. It is horrible to have to tell another nice person that you aren't as interested in them as they are in you. I always do my best to let them know right away in the nicest way possible. Being too nice about it though, often just encourages them to try harder. I need a great way to tell them that it just isn't going to happen without hurting them.
I have told them I just want to be friends, which was true. I just need a guy friend. That way I would have a friend, but not have to deal with all this. Oh and I don't mean a friend with benefits. I just want a guy to talk to and hang out with once in a while. Is that too much to ask? Probably...guys have a one track mind, right?
Friday, November 06, 2009
Current State of Mind
With all stages in life, people are immediately interested in the next step. When you start dating, they want to know if you are going to get married. When you get married, they want to know when you are going to have a baby. When you have a baby, they want to know if you are going to have another one. The same is true with divorce. It is about finding love again.
I have heard from several people that I will quickly find a new guy. I don’t believe it of course. It is completely crazy thinking. First, I was 30 when I got married. That means that obviously I am not the kind of person that marries the first guy I date. Secondly, my kids are my life. I rarely go anywhere without them and we are usually in kid friendly places. How do you meet someone in those settings? Third, it takes time to get over a failed marriage.
I think divorce not only sours a person’s view of marriage, but rocks their self esteem in regards to meeting people of the opposite sex and dating. A lot has changed about me since I was single - mainly that I have two adorable kids that I devote my life to. I also don’t have the body that I used to. Should I even mention that I have moved in with family, have only been working part time so I don’t have to put the kids in daycare yet, and have NO idea what I even want for the future? What kind of guy would be interested? - Probably not one that I would be interested in.
Basically, dating is not a priority for me or much of a consideration. I am just taking life as it comes. I am focusing on keeping up with my insane workload, taking care of my kids, and waiting as patiently as possible for some of these hardships to pass or ease up.
Hopefully, soon I will be ready to take better care of myself and get interested in things that I usually care about. It is just a matter of time and a little more happiness.
I have heard from several people that I will quickly find a new guy. I don’t believe it of course. It is completely crazy thinking. First, I was 30 when I got married. That means that obviously I am not the kind of person that marries the first guy I date. Secondly, my kids are my life. I rarely go anywhere without them and we are usually in kid friendly places. How do you meet someone in those settings? Third, it takes time to get over a failed marriage.
I think divorce not only sours a person’s view of marriage, but rocks their self esteem in regards to meeting people of the opposite sex and dating. A lot has changed about me since I was single - mainly that I have two adorable kids that I devote my life to. I also don’t have the body that I used to. Should I even mention that I have moved in with family, have only been working part time so I don’t have to put the kids in daycare yet, and have NO idea what I even want for the future? What kind of guy would be interested? - Probably not one that I would be interested in.
Basically, dating is not a priority for me or much of a consideration. I am just taking life as it comes. I am focusing on keeping up with my insane workload, taking care of my kids, and waiting as patiently as possible for some of these hardships to pass or ease up.
Hopefully, soon I will be ready to take better care of myself and get interested in things that I usually care about. It is just a matter of time and a little more happiness.
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