Popular Body Types That Were "In"

I like this clip because it shows just how silly humans are when it comes to what looks beautiful or is "in."

Focusing on What’s Important

In two and a half weeks, Steve and I were going to be attending a wedding at a very posh place in Miami. We have known the couple for about 5 years through work. She is a gorgeous 24 year old that has everything going for her. The kind of person it would be easy to hate if she wasn’t so nice. He is 29 years old and very fun to be around. We know him better than her.

Two weeks ago, I first heard that she was being admitted to the hospital for tests. Her symptoms brought flash backs of my father’s ordeal. Of course, everyone prayed that it wasn’t brain cancer and most of the first week was spent on every other possible test with numerous specialists. By the end of last week, a biopsy was scheduled. Friday night, I got the news that she has a malignant tumor. It is in a place that is extremely difficult to get to. The biopsy was a huge challenge. There isn't a lot of hope for her.

Despite the fact that it was my first thought, I was still stunned by the news. I am mainly feeling pretty numb. My heart goes out to her and her family as well as her fiancé.

Even if you live to be 100, life is short. It is time to start focusing on the people and things that make us happy.

Making Assumptions

When you see people on a regular basis, but never really talk to them, it is kind of fun to play detective and figure out the details of their lives from tiny clues. I have noticed I do this with the moms at daycare.

It starts off with clothing and vehicles. Depending on the type of clothing they wear and the vehicle they drive, I try to come up with an occupation. The daycare moms that wear scrubs all must work at the Children’s Hospital down the road. The Ann Taylor/classy woman that drives a top of the line Mercedes has a cushy office job, some kind of executive. The friendly woman that wears rags and drives very large new Dodge vehicles is probably married to a car dealer. Wedding rings let people know who is married. The happiness of a marriage can sometimes be detected by overheard cell phone calls. A nasty fight could indicate trouble. I completely realize my assumptions could be way off base, but I have come to believe in the little stories that surround these people.

The funny thing is when I think of the kind of clues I must be dispensing, I laugh. For several months this year, I stopped wearing my wedding ring. Did people assume that my husband and I were going through a rough spot? I doubt they noticed that my ring was causing a small rash. Also, I have started going to Subway for lunch every day. Does that mean I am on the Subway diet? No, it is just one of the few food places that has a rather mild smell, which is important for a pregnant woman. I guess I could go on and on.

Basically, things are not always as they seem, but it is fun to play detective.

Too Nice

On the radio this morning, they claimed that 75% of women have dumped a guy for being "too nice." I had to laugh. That is exactly what I said about Steve before we started dating. Why are women so silly?

When I mentioned that hang up to my mom, she told me that life is challenging enough without having a difficult person in your life. She said I should be with someone pleasant. I must have listened, because we started dating a little while later.

Looking back, I realize that these dumping women are probably just use to crazy demanding men (perhaps because of past relationships or because of their fathers). When they don’t face one right away, they move on thinking they will be bored. By doing that, they could really miss out on a great thing. Plus, dumping women need to realize that most people are extra nice in the beginning.

As for the challenges, everyone comes with their own set of issues whether or not they are “too nice.” I say, embrace the men that are “too nice” and don’t worry, they will still be a pain. On the plus side, nice guys usually do not pick fights over stupid things.

Update On Baby

This morning, I heard that the baby was born but no details. I also found out that they had decided to keep this baby no matter what & avoided most of the tests/additional ultrasounds. That just broke my heart.

Soon after that, I got an e-mail with pictures of my cousin’s baby. He is a month old and was born with severe birth defects. The pictures caught me off guard. I had heard that my cousin was faced with the same decision (right before Thanksgiving) and decided to keep the baby. He is cute, but it is obvious that he will have a difficult life. I had to catch my breath and began to worry about the couple again and of course my cousin.

Finally, I heard the news that everything went well. She was born at 5:25pm last night. She weighed 7 lbs 13 oz and is 20.5 inches long (same weight & only 0.5 inch shorter than Lexi). Good News!

Remembering Child Birth

Today, someone I know is in the hospital trying to get a stubborn baby to emerge. It is practically all I can think about. We have talked in detail during several functions over the past few years, but we are not friends. Still, I feel a connection to her.

It started when I was in the hospital giving birth to Lexi (15 months ago). She was in a different hospital having an abortion. The fetus she was carrying had severe birth defects. The doctors told her that even if it made it the whole 9 months, it would surely die in the first week. After a lot of pondering and praying, she and her husband felt that an abortion was the right thing for them. The night after I gave birth to Lexi, I held her and cried for them. I couldn’t even begin to imagine having to face a decision like that.

A few weeks later, I received a card from her and spoke to her husband. I was completely blown away by how well they accepted the situation. They were absolutely positive that they would have a healthy baby in the future and that life turned out the way it was supposed to.

Today, their faith proves to be right. She is several days past her due date, so her doctors decided to induce her. I have heard that it has taken all day for her to get to 5 cm and the pain is unbearable. Fortunately, she gave in and got the epidural. I hope their dreams come true soon and she’ll be holding her own beautiful baby girl tonight.

I know I will be holding Lexi and be feeling extreme joy for them.

Knock Off Chic

Last week, a strange street chic walked into our office building. She was dragging a large bag on wheels. Her painted on jeans were paired with a red tank top that was too small, white tennis shoes, and a bright yellow leather purse. The moment she opened her mouth, her New Jersey accent came pouring out.

As she unzipped her bag, she announced that she had the best deals for us. To make herself more appealing, she actually called us “girlfriends” and handed us knock-off purses. I was told to take a whiff of the amazing Fendi Spy Bag (real one pictured above). It was difficult to hold in the laughter because she was trying too hard and I am just not that big into purses. In fact, I didn't even know that Fendi had a "Spy Bag."

Out of politeness, I told her that I just wasn't interested. Then she hit me with the price. I chuckled and thought, for a little more I would rather have a real Coach purse. I guess I am just not that trendy.

SOBE Fire

We spent most of Sunday enjoying the sun at the beach and taking a LONG walk along the beach. On the way back, our feet were killing us and all we could think of was crashing on the couch. Things suddenly changed when we were almost home. That is when we noticed several fire trucks and stopped to see what was up. Yes, we were those annoying spectators at the scene. No - this is NOT our building.

This is a dilapidated building that rents rooms by the month (possibly by the week too) and always has interesting characters coming in and out of it. One of the more normal residents crossed the street to give us the inside scoop/gossip. Apparently, the room that smoke was barreling out of belongs to a mentally ill girl from Poland. She had recently been hanging around a crack-head, who got kicked out the building yesterday. We didn't see the girl, but the crack-head was pointed out to us. He was walking around in a fog, while talking on the phone. He should have been running away. We headed home right after finding out who the creep was. Later, we saw the police pull up and throw him in the car along with a bunch of baggies.

-Fun times in SOBE.

Whoa Momma!

As I was dropping Lexi off at daycare yesterday, I noticed a new kid. When I walked out, I saw the back of a lady walking around to get into a large SUV. She had on trendy tight jeans, spike high heels, and a cute shirt. I could tell that she is all about image and sexiness. Then, I saw her bumper sticker. "Just ignore my magnificent tits." All I could do was laugh and think – You go girl! Embrace that shallowness and make it yours!

Silly Girl

Someone I know was in the hospital recently. Nothing serious, she was in a car accident & was getting thoroughly checked out. However, a strange scenario took place there.

There was a 15 year old girl in the bed next to hers. The girl's parents and boyfriend were also in the room, when the doctor started asking the girl questions. She asked her if she was pregnant and she said no. She asked if she was sexually active and she said no once again. She asked when her last period was and the girl couldn't remember. She asked her a couple of more times if she was sexually active. The doctor had her take a pregnancy test anyways. About an hour later, the doctor returns fairly upset.

She said, "Why did you tell me you weren't sexually active?"

The girl said, "I'm not!"

The doctor said, "Your pregnancy test came back positive."

The girl blurted out, "I just lay there, my boyfriend is the sexually active one."

I would like to know if she could really be that naive.

Tags: teen pregnancy, naive

Explaining Santa to Parents

On Monday, while Lexi and I were sitting in the waiting room at the doctor's office, I heard a little girl (7 years old) explaining how she was basically going to manipulate Santa. She told her mom that she is going to ask Santa for a lot of REALLY expensive things because it is free for him. Apparently, (she explained) he gets everything for free. Her cocky attitude about how she was kind enough to spare her mom the expense made it hard for me not to snicker. When I saw the worried look in her mom's eyes, I had to stop myself from rolling my eyes. I wanted to say, "Just tell your brat the truth about Santa" or "Naughty kids only get a lump of coal." Good thing Lexi is too little to pick up on to this girl's philosophies.

Tags: Santa Clause, Brats, Manipulating Parents

Naughty or Nice

Most parents use Santa Clause as a threat during the holidays. We all have heard many times that Santa will not give presents to naughty kids. As a result, believing kids shape up during the end of the year. Sometimes they need a few reminders along the way, but for the most part it is all about getting rewarded. After many years of hearing these tactics, you would figure that people would automatically step in line at the end of the year. Right?

The Santa Clause threat still exists for quite a few adults in the corporate world. Some companies believe in rewarding good employees for being responsible, praiseworthy, and hardworking (possibly brown-nosing the best) with a Christmas Bonus. We are near the end of the year when they decide how large the bonuses will be, so as a logical person you would expect everyone to be on their best behavior, right? WRONG! Yesterday, there was major drama and tizzy fits in the office. Thank goodness, I am not in HR and know none of the details (grapevine gossip will probably get us all up to speed in a matter of days). My point is THIS IS NOT THE TIME to act insane!

Forget karma, doing good for the sake of being a good person, wanting to make it into heaven, etc., this time of year is all about the Christmas Bonus. So...all I am saying is watch your p's & q's and smile pretty for the camera (oh, & keep me out of it).

Tags: Christmas bonuses, naughty or nice, good behavior

Drama Momma

The weird ones came and picked up their furniture, but there is no drama to report. The pajama lady didn't even show up. Her niece came with 4 guys. Actually, two of them were about 13 years old. They cleared out our house and we now have an echo.

I realized last night, that I was so occupied with the drama the weird women were causing that I completely forgot to mention the strangest thing that happened on Sunday. Another woman pulled up to our garage sale in a little Honda. When she got out, we could tell that she had just come from church. She had a black floral dress on and high heels. She sifted though some clothes and asked about the microwave.

She began chatting with one of my friends who stopped by and was holding Lexi. She asked if Lexi was her daughter and she said no. Then, the lady proceeded to announce in a very loud voice that she had an abortion 4 months ago. She said she has 4 kids already and didn't need another one. What do you say to a stranger that has just announced something like that? The answer was nothing. We all froze. She didn't skip a beat though, because right at that moment she saw what she really wanted... the best pair of hooker shoes your money can buy.

I was given them as a gag gift about 5 years ago. They were red with a thick band around the ankle and 4" spiked metal heels. They came out of the Victoria Secret Catalog. I got them for Christmas from an 80+ year old rich man that was working on a development project with me. He told me that I work too much and I need to live it up more. I think they were over $50 and had never been worn, but Ms. Announce the Abortion got them for a mere $5 and will probably be wearing them to church next Sunday.

Tags: Victorias Secret, drama momma, garage sale

Welcoming all kinds of Weirdos

We were sitting in our driveway when her Escalade swerved in. She stumbled out wearing silk pjs and closing her top, but not before exposing her sagging chest. She turned to shout at the million kids in her car to stay there. She frantically shuffled around glancing at our items for sale while clutching her purse, probably trying to hide the fact that her buttons were missing. I told her that we have furniture inside if she was interested. She nodded that she wanted to go in, so I asked Steve to handle it. I was taking care of Lexi and helping some other buyers. They were in there for about 2 minutes when she comes rushing out practically yelling that she would be right back with her niece who just moved into an apartment and would be buying everything we had.

We didn't see them again until they knocked on our door 6 hours later. This time she was wearing a short black wig and clothes. Steve didn't even recognize her until I told him she was the pajama lady. Once again, their car was full of about a million kids. Her niece gave us cash for our living room set and then she said she would be right back with a big red truck. We haven't seen her since. I hope she comes and takes it all quickly, but part of me is dreading the ruckus that they will cause with their noisy ways. I just hope they don't show up after Lexi is asleep.

The garage sale was very successful. There were many odd characters besides this lady (including a crackhead woman on the bike), but that is to be expected when you live a few blocks away from the hood. This weekend, we met more of our neighbors than we had in the year and a half we lived there. The ones from our little subdivision were all very nice. I guess we should have had a garage sale when we moved in. They all mentioned that we are lucky our house sold, because many have been on the market longer without any bites. The more I hear and read about the market, the more I hope this sales goes through.

We only have a 2 big items left and a few people said they would be back during the week to buy them. No real commitments, but I can always have a little sale next Saturday. Plus, I put the items on craigslist. Now, we just have to pack the rest & cross our fingers that everything goes well with the buyer's financing.

Tags: garage sale, house for sale, neighbors

Suckered In

"Can I ask you a question?" asked a curvaceous Columbian chic with a thick accent.

I reluctantly answered "sure," preferring to be polite.

"How often do you use lotion?"

Suddenly dreading where this was heading, I answered, "every day."

She smiled, "Let me show you what the Dead Sea salt can do for your skin."

As she was spreading it across my arm, I noticed that she was covered in head-to-toe fashion faux pas that seem to be so popular in this mall. I wondered if the fashion police would ever venture down to Miami. I also realized that it seemed to work for her in some strange way.

She rinsed my arm and of course it felt smooth and moist. A dab of olive oil and table salt would have the same affect, but I am a sucker for beauty products. She followed up with some lotion that had a wonderful aroma and proceeded to tell me all about their 100% natural facial cream.

I was still plotting ways to politely make my escape when she told me the price. She said I could have them each for the low price of $49 bringing the total to approximately $150. That is when I smiled, because no way would I pay that much for 3 beauty products from a kiosk in the mall. She jumped in to say that I would be getting a year supply of each, which had no impact on my decision. She proceeded to eliminate the products I was least interested in including the facial cream and lotion. When she mentioned the Dead Sea salt, Origins popped into my mind and she saw a glimmer of hope. Her new tactic was to drop the price. When she got down to $20, I said ok.

Tags: Dead Sea Salt, Mall Kiosks, Dolphin Mall, Miami, Fashion Police

Using Body Language

In every company I have worked for, there was always one female employee that seemed to flirt with the boss. By flirting, I mean that these chicks stand too close, act overly interested, strike seductive posses, giggle instead of laugh even at dumb jokes, and generally go overboard when asked to perform a task. I highly doubt the ones I have been around were having an affair with the boss. Their behavior is simply used to get what they want (attention, more money, better office supplies, etc.). The funny thing is that it does work on some level and they get a little farther than they would based on their intelligence or work ability, but they don't have many friends. Whenever I observe one of these interactions, I often wonder why the guys fall for it and what in the chick's past/childhood makes her think that this is the method for getting what she wants.

Tags: body language, work