Merry Christmas!

We are really enjoying the holidays with my family. There are nine kids in our house with the oldest being 9. My brothers and thier families are here so it is hectic and fun. Both of my brothers with kids have one Lexi's age and one Jordan's age. As you can guess, the kids are soaking it up. Anyway, I wanted to wish everyone a Merry Christmas.

The Cove in La Jolla

I snapped a few pictures yesterday when we were at the Cove.

Still Waiting...

I decided to do a little update. My files are still locked on the hard drive. Fun, right? My office didn't have any luck with it, so they decided to send it out to a company that specializes in this kind of thing.

http://www.ontrackdatarecovery.com

Unfortunately, it is going to cost about $1000 and take a week, assuming that anything can be done. Please for your own sake, back-up your file.

Other than that, I am just enjoying the holidays. My brothers are already showing up. One came a few days ago and another one last night. The third one is coming this afternoon. Our house will be FULL of kids and activities. That will keep my mind off the stress.

Nearly Nervous Breakdown Time

This has been an awful work week, one truly for the books. It all started on Monday, when I realized that my hard drive was inaccessible. I tried to use it on different computers hoping that it was some kind of sick fluke. Finally, I realized that I had to call my boss. It was last afternoon and he told me to send it to him ASAP through Fedex. I had to wake Jordan up from his nap and drag my kids out in the pouring cold rain. I made it to Fedex moments before the cut-off.

All of my work for the last 18 months is on that hard drive. Yes, I knew ALL along that I should do back-ups. Unfortunately, I failed to make it a priority and therefore I never got around to it. It is now the end of the week of me being nervous and so far my office has had no luck recovering the files. Yesterday, they gave it our IT consultant.

I am praying for a Christmas miracle because I really don’t want to deal with the MONTHS of long hours for make-up work this will cause. For now, I can gladly report that the extra nervousness has helped me lose 5 lbs.

Lasting Love

For a while, I have been thinking that long lasting love is so wonderful. Isn't the idea of sharing your life with someone amazing? What could be better than growing old with someone and knowing most of the people in each other's lives and all of their stories? Believe me, I am all about adventure and crazy shenanigans in life. However, when it comes to romance and love nothing could be better than stability. Perhaps, that ultimate dream kept my marriage together for longer than it should have been. This week, we finally watched “Up.” What a cute story and it just happens to go along with this theme.

Anyway, when I saw this article: How to Make Romance Last, I had to laugh and do a quick post.

I am already in my upper 30s, so spending most of my life with someone isn't possible. I guess I can still dream of meeting a great guy someday and spending half of my life with him.

Baby Boy Turns Two

I can't believe that Jordan is two today. He is turning into a little boy and leaving his baby years behind, which makes me so sad. He has also just entered into the terrible twos and has begun demanding to "do mysef." Like most little boys, he loves balls. I gave him a set of nerf balls on Sunday and he has slept with one of them every night since. He also carries one around where ever we go. One of the best things about him is that he is generally a happy little prankster and pulls sly pranks on all of us. Almost everything makes him laugh, even getting punished. What a joy these two years have been!

Thankful For

It has been one crazy year for me and for lots of my friends and extended family. As you know, my year has basically revolved around divorce. I have also been feeling sad for others who are close to me (friends & family) that are dealing with so much more than I had to. On the bright side, I have received news that quite a few people I know are pregnant. Overall, it has been a year for the books. There are MANY things to be Thankful for though including my top six list for 2009:

1. My wonderful kids who are healthy
2. Friends and family that have gone above and beyond to be supportive
3. That the second half of the year has been MUCH better than the first half
4. That money is tight, but we are getting by on my part time job and child support
5. That my brothers and their families are all coming for two weeks at Christmas
6. That Steve and I don't hate each other

I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving!

One Minute Please

Shortly after moving here, a neighbor lady started telling me about a wonderful parenting book that she was reading. I listened with interest especially since big changes in kids' lives bring about crazy behaviors. However, I had to smile thinking about taking advice from a SAHM mom that has 3 full time maids and 2 nannies all in an effort to take care of a household that has three kids.

About 2 weeks later (while she was off vacationing with her husband, kids and entourage), I got a copy of the book in the mail from her. I smiled at how thoughtful she was. Anyway, the book is called "The One Minute Mother" and it is by Spencer Johnson, M.D. While I am thrilled with some of the results, I don't recommend you go out and buy a copy. There are only 3 simple points that the entire book is written around.

1. One Minute Goals (use 1 sheet of paper to write down goals that you set with your child - must only take 1 minute to read)
2. One Minute Praisings (Praise good behavior, clearly identify what they did right and how it made you feel, hug or touch the child, and tell them you love them)
3. One Minute Reprimands (Reprimand poor behavior, tell the child exactly what they did wrong, pause to let it sink in, remind them that they are better than that and that they are good kids, hug them and remind them that you love them, and drop it)

The book is full of examples and such to convince people that it works. I think 2 and 3 are pretty much common sense, although in the craziness of life they may not happen as often as they should. At least for me because my two little ones are doing things all day everyday that should be addressed.

The one thing that I hadn't tried before was number 1. Once a week I started sitting down with Lexi and coming up with a one page list of goals for her, Jordan and me. I use a big marker and draw a picture next to each goal so she can "read" them. She participates in creating the list. Here are some examples:

Lexi's Goals
1. Put my crayons away everyday
2. Don't block my brother (not letting him pass through doorways)
3. Listen to my mom
4. Hug and kiss my mom more (her idea)

Mom's Goals:
1. Exercise at the beach 4 times this week
2. Complete.... (something from my to do list)
3. Hug and kiss Lexi and Jordan more (her idea)

When we are done, we tape the lists in the kids’ bedroom. Every night Lexi reads hers as part of our bedtime ritual.

We have been able to stamp out quite a few behaviors that time-outs were doing NOTHING for. The best part is that when she is doing something she isn't supposed to that is on the list I only have to remind her ONE time!!! I HATE being a broken record.

The past few days things have been getting out of hand with the kids pestering each other. It was especially annoying this morning, during our walk on the beach. I suddenly remembered that we hadn't made a list in a few weeks. We sat down this afternoon and so far we are right back on track.

New Blog: The Design Buzz

My cousin, Kim, has started a new blog devoted to vintage items and her own designs. She also has an Etsy shop. Check it out:

The Design Buzz

Current State of Mind

With all stages in life, people are immediately interested in the next step. When you start dating, they want to know if you are going to get married. When you get married, they want to know when you are going to have a baby. When you have a baby, they want to know if you are going to have another one. The same is true with divorce. It is about finding love again.

I have heard from several people that I will quickly find a new guy. I don’t believe it of course. It is completely crazy thinking. First, I was 30 when I got married. That means that obviously I am not the kind of person that marries the first guy I date. Secondly, my kids are my life. I rarely go anywhere without them and we are usually in kid friendly places. How do you meet someone in those settings? Third, it takes time to get over a failed marriage.

I think divorce not only sours a person’s view of marriage, but rocks their self esteem in regards to meeting people of the opposite sex and dating. A lot has changed about me since I was single - mainly that I have two adorable kids that I devote my life to. I also don’t have the body that I used to. Should I even mention that I have moved in with family, have only been working part time so I don’t have to put the kids in daycare yet, and have NO idea what I even want for the future? What kind of guy would be interested? - Probably not one that I would be interested in.

Basically, dating is not a priority for me or much of a consideration. I am just taking life as it comes. I am focusing on keeping up with my insane workload, taking care of my kids, and waiting as patiently as possible for some of these hardships to pass or ease up.

Hopefully, soon I will be ready to take better care of myself and get interested in things that I usually care about. It is just a matter of time and a little more happiness.

Our Peter Pan Costumes

I just love themed costumes. I knew my mom had a great Captain Hook costume so I talked everyone into doing Peter Pan this year. It was an easy sell even for my mom who made costumes for Lexi and me. It was all planned. My mom was Captain Hook. Lexi was Tinkerbell. Jordan was the croc (I got his costume off of ebay). Paige would be Peter Pan. My step-father was going to be Smee. As for me, the clear choice was Wendy.

We tought we were going to get to wear them a lot. We were lucky enough to be invited to a block party last weekend, have a church party this week, a little party at my mom's work today, and then Halloween. Nothing ever works perfectly. My step-father had a gig on Saturday, so he missed the block party. He is out of town this week for work. My mom suddenly got sick on Wednesday and is still down with some kind of flu (not H1N1). Paige and I took the kids to the church party. Paige has party plans for the real Halloween. I will probably be taking the kids trick-or-treating myself and might not dress up. (Maybe the fake eyelashes though- I love those things). Here are our costumes:

The Croc & Tinkerbell

Tinkerbell


Cast of Peter Pan

The Croc & Wendy

Tink & Wendy

Tink (Lexi) & Peter (my sister)

Captain Hook (aka my mom)

Tinkerbell with Face Paint


For next year, I have been talking about Alice in Wonderland. Yesterday, I found out that Disney has a new one coming out:

Alice in Wonderland Official Trailer

Remembering the Blogging Days

As a result of the graphics disappearing, I designated a little time to figuring out where I could host new ones. I found something that was OK. This whole experience reminded me of the old blog days back when I used to change the design to be festive every month. Was that a pain or what? I guess it was also back when I updated regularly and kept up with other blogs. In a way, I miss it. I am not sure I can fit it into my life right now, but maybe I'll try a little harder to be a real blogger.

Disappearing Graphics

As you’ve probably noticed, my graphics have disappeared. I used to use Geocities to upload the pictures for the blog design. I found out a few weeks ago that Yahoo was going to close it. I could have started researching other options then, but I didn’t. Does anyone have suggestions? Perhaps there is even a way to upload them to blogger directly. I haven’t tried that.

Connecting with In-Laws

One of the strange spin off issues with divorce is not knowing how to connect with former in-laws. My parents pretty much severed their relationships with each other’s extended family members when they parted ways. That had more to do with my dad’s extreme bitterness. He didn’t want contact with my mom’s family and he needed to feel like his family had his back.

The situation is quite different with our divorce. Neither of us is bitter, which helps. Steve has called one of my brothers a few times. I think he feels more comfortable talking to my side because he knows that they already know what happened. As far as I can tell, he has been avoiding his family and friends. I read that men view divorce as a huge failure and are often terribly embarrassed about it. I believe that is the case with him.

Last week, I got an e-mail from one of his cousins that I have never met in person. She wanted to know what is going on. Some of his family members read the kids’ blogs and wanted to know why we seemed to be living in California and he wasn’t. I know they deserve to know, but I hate to step on his toes. I decided to answer the e-mail as nicely as possible with minimal facts and basically left out any explanations. I know that part should come from him.

I know I am rambling, but my main point is that divorce usually puts up a barrier and alienates a spouse from the former in-laws. Perhaps it is mainly in my imagination or not really knowing how to get a new phase of the relationship started. I would like to know how to overcome that without stepping on Steve’s toes. Part of me thinks that sounds selfish like I have a right to his family even though I filed for divorce. While I really liked the in-laws, I think this relationship will benefit the kids more than anyone. I just don’t know how to go about re-starting it. Suggestions?

Relatively Speaking

In my last post, I said that I was quite happy. I guess I should explain. I didn’t really mean that everything was gloriously wonderful and that my life could in no way be better. Is that even possible under any circumstances? I just meant that I am not living in a pit of despair and actually feel at peace or quite happy most of the time.

About eight years ago, I broke up with a guy I had been dating for 3 years. At the time, I was living in Miami and the few friends that I had were all married. I realized that the worst part of break-ups (for me) was the HUGE void that was left. I had lots of time on my hands and nobody to spend it with. I was lonely and bored.

Getting divorced has been different. As soon as the divorce was finalized, I was on the road headed to California. My kids, family, work and numerous activities keep me too busy. There is no void. I am not lonely or bored and I actually have a LOT more help with the kids. Plus, the issues that I had been dealing with are not my problem any more. I don’t spend too much time worrying and/or being angry. That had made this life change a huge relief. Therefore, things are better. I am quite happy.

Quite Happy

I realize that my last few posts were either depressing or neutral. It is time to tell you that overall we are quite happy. It is nice getting help with the kids and there are lots of fun things to do in San Diego.

My Body Talks Using Freckles

Last Friday, I went to the doctor for a sinus infection. As he was writing the prescription, we had this conversation:

Doctor: "Do you know what freckles are?"

Me: "A horrible family curse."

Doctor: "No, it is your body's way of saying you are getting too much sun."

At that point, I wanted to ask how I could get my body to shut up while I enjoy my life outdoors. I just decided to politely smile because I know my answer was right.

Serial Matrimony-ist

Like many of you, I saw the news about the 107 year old woman that was on her 22nd husband and was expecting him to leave her. If that happens, she plans to get married again for companionship. (article)

Being newly divorced, this story is extra bizarre to me. Right now, marriage seems very unappealing.  Perhaps because divorce is a very difficult thing to go through. All break-ups usually involve a range of emotions, but bringing expensive lawyers into the mix just makes it worse. I'll be paying for it for a while. Right now, getting married is the last thing I want to do. In fact, I am not even interested in dating. I guess I admire a woman that can go through that many divorces and still look forward to marriage.

Searching for Friends

Moving to San Diego has changed a lot of things in our lives including going from an area where we all had lots of wonderful friends to a place where we have none. I am ok with it and Jordan isn't doing too badly, but Lexi really misses playing with kids. We go to the park and lots of places with kids around, but not anywhere to develop relationships.

I have tried a few things. I started by going to my mom's church. I thought that would be the easiest way, but I was very unimpressed. I also looked for playgroups online. There are very few whose categories we fit into. The best ones seem to be for lesbians or moms with babies. I found one that looked promising. They meet at a park on the beach every Thursday morning. I got the kids ready and headed there this morning. I was greatly disappointed. I would not have classified it as a "play" group. It was a bunch of moms exercising with their kids were strapped into strollers. The playgroup I am looking for will actually have the kids playing. It isn't about me, besides I prefer to exercise on my own.

I guess I'll start taking them to library reading time and see if there are any fun looking moms & kids there. We've also signed Lexi up for ballet lessons. Perhaps, we'll meet friends there. Other than that, I don't know what to do. Does anyone have suggestions?

Not a Pet Person

I can’t pin point when I changed from a pet loving person into a non-pet person. Not to say that I am anti-pet; I actually love other people’s pets. I just don’t want to own one. When I grew up, my family always had outside pets. I remember lots of cats as well as a wonderful golden lab named Tracker. I always thought I would own pets when I grew up.

Perhaps, the changed happened when I was single living in Miami. I worked for a company that often sent me on last minute business trips to amazing places in the Caribbean. I lived in my own little apartment and thought it would be fun to have a pet, but I definitely wanted to take advantage of those trips. Having a pet would have made dropping everything and heading out quite difficult. I also didn’t want the added expense.

I thought that I would want a pet once I had kids, but my desire for one was even less. Mainly, I didn’t want one more thing to clean up after. However, I think pets are great for kids and I really like animals. Fortunately, my kids get to experience the joy of having a dog and a cat without me taking care of it. That is one of the perks of moving in with my mom and step-dad. The kids are LOVING it.

Views Near Our House

This morning, I put the kids in the jogging stroller and walked up to the cross on the top of the mountain in La Jolla. One of the best things about living here is getting a chance to enjoy the views. I love looking out at the ocean. That was something I enjoyed in Miami too.

Eternal Frat Boy

This afternoon, I was working on a proposal for my company. I realized that we might need someone to fill a very specialized position. I only know 2 people who can do that kind of work, so I decided to look one of them up in case we needed him. I haven't seen him in seven years, so I started with google. I didn't have any luck. Then, I tried Facebook & BAM there was his picture portraying an image exactly like I remembered him. He was sitting in a hot tub wearing a cowboy hat with 3 bikini clad girls surrounding him. Proof that some guys never change.

Thinking about him makes me laugh. On paper, he would be a tremendous catch for any girl. He is a great looking guy, is probably about 6’2”, has a master’s degree in engineering, is very social, loves to have fun, and makes great money. In fact, he started his own company, bought an air plane and does lots of work in the Caribbean. Who wouldn’t want a guy like that? ….ME and probably every other sensible girl alive.

Despite the fact that he is in his mid thirties, he will always be a frat boy. Not only does he party hard and drink a lot (like he is always on Spring Break on Miami Beach), but he is the ultimate dare devil. Basically, he can pretty much check off his to do list every wild/dangerous activity known to man. He is also the MOST unorganized person ever born. We worked together & his office was such a disaster that nobody dared to enter. Someone once saw a pair of dirty underwear under his desk.

He was actually the butt of many of our office jokes. Who else could sink a company boat twice in one day? I will not even try to remember how many lap tops he broke. Perhaps, I will just friend him on Facebook for the laughs and leave him off of my proposal.

Toddler Mystery

I have spent the day mainly working on my laptop in the living room. The kids have been keeping busy with various activities. For a little while, they were playing in their room. I got a phone call (*Steve has been offered a job*). While we were talking, the kids made thier way to the bathroom. I figured that Lexi had to go. Jordan often follows her in there.

Suddenly, Lexi comes running out announcing that "Jordan was peeing like a big boy!" I ended the call quickly and ran in there nervous about what I would find. Jordan's shorts and diaper were on the floor. He was struggling to keep himself up on the toilet. Lexi was happily dancing around me saying that Jordan told her that he needed to go potty, so she helped him.

This news came as a complete shock to me because other than flushing the toilet and wiping himself, he has shown NO interest. I decided that I would wait to potty train him until he was 3 because I heard boys were more difficult. This was the first time he ever sat on the toilet. Could I possibly believe that he actually went?

Being highly suspicious, I looked in the toilet. There was evidence that something had happened, but I am finding it hard to believe that Jordan did it. Lexi seems to believe he did though.

I guess this is just one of those things that I will never know exactly what happened, unless of course it happens again and I witness it.

Made It

We made it to California. I don't have much time for blogging though. I still have a lot to unpack and put away. Plus, my work is backing up and somehow I have to find the motivation to get started on it all.

...and thanks to some low down thieves in San Antonio, I have to do research and figure out how to protect the kids and me from ID theft. It all started on Friday night. We pulled into a nice hotel (Drury Inn) in San Antonio. I parked in a seemingly safe location where we could see my vehicle & u-haul trailer from our room. That didn't seem to stop the thieves though. The next morning, when we were ready to pull out, we discovered that the lock was broken and the trailer door was open about a foot. They didn't take much, but they did manage to steal one of the most important things in there. My file box with all of our ID documents was GONE. Our birth certificates, social security cards, tax returns, old resumes, old drivers licenses, and probably more that I just can't think of was in there. I have been angry and sick to my stomach ever since. I feel so sad for the kids. I can imagine evil people using their documents to sneak illegal immigrants into the country and wrack up loads of credit cards. It makes me boiling mad.

See why I never blog anymore??? All I do is complain. Hopefully, sunny California will help turn this train wreck around.

Husband Free

The court date is set for tomorrow morning. I kind of feel like it is already over especially since Steve has pretty much been missing since we signed the papers on Thursday. He comes in late at night and disappears by mid-morning. He doesn't call or answer his phone all day. Then, he apoligizes for it every morning before he goes off & does it again. It is not like I am even getting mad at him for it, but I hate it.

I am so sad that the kids are missing out on their last few days with him. Plus, there is a LOT of things we still need to do like moving and wrapping things up on the house. I have had to turn to friends for help. As the time for the big move keeps clicking down, I am getting very nervous about how all this can happen without him & his truck. So many questions and what ifs. I guess I'll know by Friday.

Death of Crocs

Someone mentioned to me the other day that Crocs are going out of business. My first thought was that my mom is going to be heartbroken. She started her love affair with crocs long before most people even knew they existed (certainly before I did). She had been suffering from foot pain (I can't remember the reason), but had to find a solution because she is on her feet all day as a nurse. She bought her first pair of crocs and never looked back. She told me all about this wonderful miracle and I thought they sounded pretty interesting until I saw a pair. ...UGLY!

Time marched on and she continued to buy crocs in different colors. Then when she came to visit me in Miami at the beginning of my pregnancy with Jordan, she talked me into purchasing a pair for myself. Let me defend myself! I was extremely worn down. Pregnancy zaps ALL the energy out of me. The thought of comfort far exceeded the non-fashion statement. Besides, I was living on South Beach and loved to do lots of walking. They seemed to be the answer. I even bought a pair for Lexi, because even ugly things are cute on little kids. Besides, I thought it might distract others from looking at mine.

I wore them quite a few times during the pregnancy and now only occasionally when I just don't care what I have on. My mom, however, is probably more in love than ever. She graduated to the Mary Jane’s style and then to the pump style. I don't know what she is going to do, but I imagine that stocking up is the best solution. Once her last pair wears out (yes she wears them that much), she will cry a little tear.

Parenting Class/Exception to the Rule

The divorce is moving along. We had to attend a Children Cope class on Saturday. Neither of us really wanted to go. I felt like it was one more thing we had to deal with in the little amount of time I have left. However, we both decided to make the most of it. This is a semi-mandatory class that is aimed at getting divorced/separated parents to understand the importance of co-parenting. Mainly, it is about putting aside your differences and communicating for the benefit of the children.

There were about 40 – 50 people in the class and only two couples. Most of the (outspoken) people had horror stories about fighting with their ex. They had also been separated for a while (1 – 2 years). Sitting in the class, I started to REALLY appreciate that we are pretty much the exception to the rule when it comes to divorce.

1. We don’t hate each other.
2. Even in this situation, we probably fight less than average married couples.
3. We are still living together.
4. We actually enjoy spending time together.
5. It is easy for us to discuss our kids.
6. People are still saying we look so HAPPY together.

I don’t want to make our divorce sound like a piece of cake. It is very difficult emotionally. Right now, we are just at a stage when I am in the acceptance phase of grieving and Steve is in the denial phase. I am horrible at being angry and quite good at forgiving and moving on. I am worried that Steve will probably move into the angry and depression phase once we are gone. The thought makes me sad for him. Then again, it is all part of dealing with it.

Today, we met with the lawyer to sign the final decree papers. They are going to call me with the court date soon. Next week will be a BIG week. Sometime between Monday & Wednesday, I have to go to court for the hearing. My sister is flying in on Tuesday. Steve’s birthday is on Thursday. Friday, I hand the keys to our place over to the tenant & head out to California. It is enough to drive anyone CRAZY! You'll have to excuse my scattered thoughts, those are the only kind I have lately.

Brighter Side of Life

Life is still going quickly in the same direction. Since there are no updates and nothing new to complain about, I decided to post a picture of the kids. They sure make life seem a lot brighter.

Lightning Speed

Our place was listed on the MLS on Thursday night, so things were completely crazy this weekend. It turns out that keeping it spotless isn't nearly as bad as having to evacuate every time someone wants to see it, especially around nap time. We had a showing on Saturday, two on Sunday, and three on Monday. Apparently 5 out of the 6 wanted it, which means that we should have asked for a little more. Perhaps another $50 a month. Oh well. We took the first good applicant. The realtor is running a credit & criminal background check. We should have a report by tonight. The future tenant wants to move in on August 1st, so we have approximately 3 weeks.

While this is very good news, it has also added a whole new level of stress. This makes it all very real. We have to start packing. Plus, Steve still doesn't have a job and doesn't know what he is going to do at the end of this month. That makes us both very nervous, but him more so of course. I am just glad we'll have someone giving us enough money to make our mortgage payments.

The job hunt is going fairly well considering the poor economy. Steve is great at networking and talking to anyone and everyone. He also has an amazing gift of being able to talk to strangers. I am hitting the e-mail and internet side hard. He has two companies that are interested in hiring him. Unfortunately, one of them THINKS they'll have a project for him the middle of August. The other one wants him if they get a project. Basically, the search continues...

Absolutely Immaculate

Everyone has a different standard of what they think an acceptable level of cleanliness for their house. In my mind, immaculate is the goal. In reality, I just don't have the time, energy, or motivation to keep up with my standards. Since my idea of clean for my own house is so high, I feel strange inviting people over because I never feel like it is as clean as I want it to be. However, when I visit friends or other people's houses, I am quite comfortable with a normal amount of clutter and mess. Why am I so hard on myself? I don't know. It is silly.

Today, I finally met with the realtor. It took me a while to set up the appointment because I wanted to get the house somewhere near my high standard. Steve and I have been working on it. There is still a little more deep scrubbing I want to do, but the first thing she said was "It is sooooo clean!" That is the good news. The bad news is that I have to keep it like this until it rents, which she thinks will take 30 to 40 days at the most. A completely clutter free house that is sparkling clean for that long without kids is tough. With two little ones, it is going to be a nightmare.

Should I hope & pray that we find renters quickly? The money and peace of mind would be nice, but I can't decide. I am not ready (emotionally) to pack up and go to California right away. I want the kids to spend as much time with their dad as possible (one nice thing about him not having a job). I also have to be in town for the court date. Hmmm ... we'll just take it as it goes and see what happens.

~Heat Wave~

With record temperatures and heat advisories, you can bet that we are quickly melting here in the Houston area. I am not writing to complain though. In a way, I am glad to be experiencing this. After spending some time in San Diego, I have realized that it never really gets hot there. In fact, my mother, sister, and step father have mentioned that they kind of miss the heat (at least a little). No matter what time of year, they have sweater weather whenever the sun goes down. I am not sure that is for me. I barely know what it is like to have sweater weather in the winter. So, I am telling myself that this heat waver is going to carry us over for a while.

To beat the heat, we have been going to our community pool (actually more like a water park) most mornings. We have been staying in during the afternoon while Jordan sleeps and I work. Then in the evenings after dinner, we usually go out to our backyard, which is completely shaded at that time. The kids eat ice cream cones and go down the slide. We also usually end up hosing them off, but mainly to clean them.

As with everything in life, this will not last. Next week, the highs are only supposed to be about 98. After this week, that will feel cool.

A New Low

Steve lost his job today. Sounds like a fun new development in our little saga, right? Now, I am dealing with filing for the divorce, terrible work deadlines, updating and sending out his resume, trying to get the house ready to put on the market to rent even faster, wondering if I'll default on a mortgage payment if finding renters takes too long, thinking about life with only my little salary coming in (no child support), worrying about health insurance for me and the kids, and trying to maintain some level of normalcy for the kids. I also heard that someone I considered a grandfather to me (my great uncle) died this week.

Does anyone have a shovel? I don't think this hole I am in is quite deep enough.

My brother warned me that divorce (even ones for good reasons) brings about huge amounts of negative karma. I guess he was right. I didn’t even mention that I was involved in a hit and run a week ago.

Summer Sun

With the start of summer and Lexi taking swim lesson, we have been spending a lot of time at the pool. My hair is already going quite blonde and my skin is tan (for me). In fact, I haven't been like this since I lived in the Bahamas for six months. I know I am the self proclaimed "freckle face girl," but the last few weeks have secured that silly title. I am COVERED with freckles. The strange thing is that I have been wearing sun block with spf 70. I would like to know how the rays get through that.

We are ALSO on our way to getting green hair. It is just one of those things that blondes have to deal with. I remember the green tint happening a few times when I was a kid. I know that is something I want to avoid. Saturday, I bought Paul Mitchell Shampoo #3, which is supposed to knock that problem out of the water.

What a summer, right? Can you imagine how attractive too many freckles & green hair would be?

All About the Number Eight

I have been tagged to do ‘8 Things’ by Del from My Relish, so here it goes
To do list (i.e. “the rules”):
1. Mention the person who tagged me.
2. Complete the list of 8’s.
3. Tag 8 bloggers & tell them I tagged them.

Eight things I am looking forward to:
1. Spending lots of time swimming with my kids and our friends this summer
2. Having Lexi complete swim lessons. She is doing so well. I just can’t wait to see how good she’ll be at the end.
3. Visiting the BlueBell Ice Cream Factory
4. Getting past several work deadlines that are coming up
5. Taking the kids to see Disney’s “Up”
6. Going back to Sea World San Antonio
7. Catching up on housework (not the doing it part)
8. Finding people to rent our house

Eight things I did yesterday (Saturday):
1. Was invited over to some friends' house for fun and dinner
2. Enjoyed socializing with adults while the kids played
3. Made oatmeal/craisen/white chocolate cookies
4. Scrubbed the refrigerator, oven, and microwave
5. Remembered that I hadn’t paid for the storage unit that we recently got and had to throw the kids in the car and rush over there.
6. Argued with Lexi about what she was going to wear (everyday)
7. Combed Lexi’s hair while she screamed (everyday)
8. Carried the sleeping kids in from the car after a late night of fun

Eight things I wish I could do:
1. Travel a LOT more, especially internationally
2. Sleep 7 to 8 hours a night at least once a week
3. Be independently wealthy (wishing…)
4. Fluently speak several foreign languages including Spanish, French, Japanese, Arabic, & Mandarin Chinese
5. Live as an Expat again
6. Save enough money for my kids’ college funds
7. Have the kind of body that I would want to show off
8. Find time for the things I like to do not just for the things I have to do

Eight shows I watch:
1. You Are What You Eat
2. Lie To Me
3. Bones
4. Any Dream Will Do
5. Monk
6. Psyche
7. HBO…
8. HBO… (this is the toughest list for me b/c I don’t watch very much tv)

Eight favorite fruits:
1. Cherries
2. Watermelon
3. Cantaloupe
4. Honeydew
5. Fuji Apples
6. Grapes
7. Strawberries
8. Mangos

Eight places I’d like to travel:
1. Morrocco
2. Greece
3. Peru
4. Australia
5. Japan
6. China
7. India
8. Alaska

Eight places I’ve lived:
1. Provo, Utah
2. Savannah, Georgia
3. Melbourne, Florida
4. Katy, Texas
5. Doha, Qatar
6. Miami, Florida
7. Little Stirrup Cay, Bahamas
8. Soon…La Jolla, CA

People I’ve tagged:
The Princess & Johnsy
Jeanette
Annette
Aimee
Anna
Reformatting My Brain
The Diva
Carmen

Hand-Me-Downs

A few weeks ago, I started going through the kids’ old clothes and toys. I pulled out Lexi’s nicer clothes and decided to give them to a friend who has a two year old. Since then, I have seen her wearing a few of the outfits. I had no idea how happy it would make me to see her in the clothes. She is a cute little blonde and easily reminds me of Lexi at that age. It is funny that something so simple can bring back such fond memories.

Reactions to Divorce Announcement

One of the most difficult things about divorce is telling everyone the news. In general, I just don't bring it up. I've tried to share the news with some friends and family. When it comes to acquaintances though, I can't seem to throw it out there. It seems to start a conversation that shocks and saddens those around me. This is one of those times when I wish a busy body would spread it around for me. Here are a few of the comments I've heard:

...But, you have such a beautiful family.

Why? He loves you and the kids so much.

God hates divorce because it breaks up the family.

I bet he’ll win you back after a year.

That tall gorgeous guy?

You’ll find somebody and get married again soon.

Are you on birth control? (by an older man, who I am not comfortable discussing these things with)

It is good to do it while the kids are so young.

Couples need to wait until they have been married for twenty years. It gets easier after that.

...But, you two work so well together.

That is SOOOOO shocking. I just can't believe it.

I should say that most friends have said, "I am sorry to hear that. Is there anything I can do to help you?" I know it isn't easy hearing news like that, which is probably why it is difficult to share it. I am confident that my decision is the right one, but I know it affects more people than just our immediate family. I also feel sorry for everyone else.

Lie To Me

This evening, I stepped on the scale and couldn't help but smile when I saw that it said 115 lbs. I have never been in love with an inanimate object like I am tonight (even though I know it isn’t true). I am 5’6” and not at all freaky skinny. I don’t think I have been that weight since I was a young teenager.

In fact, I have been eating HORRIBLE things lately. Last Wednesday, when Steve left, I was suddenly overwhelmed by sadness. He had just signed the first set of papers and it was a big step towards the end of our marriage. For some strange reason, I felt an overpowering desire for sweets and all things chocolate. We didn’t have any in the house, so I took the kids to the grocery store.

Part of me felt guilty, but I also realized that it isn’t a normal reaction for me. I am usually upbeat. I also don’t usually dive into comfort food as a way to make myself feel better, because I know it doesn’t work. Unfortunately, I have been drowning in work and other things and have allowed this horrible pick-me-up tactic to continue. It is much easier to grab snacks and get to work then it is to take a half hour to an hour to exercise and get that high from good things.

So, tonight, I was expecting the scale to give me bad news. Is wanting to believe an unrealistic little lie such a bad thing? Right now, I think not. Tomorrow though, I'll be back to exercising for better highs.

Memorial Day Memories

Unlike most Americans, Memorial Day brings back memories of irises and my grandmother. No, she wasn't in the military. In fact, I was an adult before I knew that it was actually a day to honor veterans and it still doesn't feel like that is the purpose of the holiday for me.

For several years when I was growing up, Memorial Day was a day that we spent with my mom's mom. The day started in her garden. She always had lots of her favorite flowers, irises, there. We would gather bunches of them for lost loved ones. We went all over central Utah to visit several different cemeteries. It meant a lot to her to do that.

This year, we had a rather uneventful day. The kids and I went swimming in the morning, stayed home for naps in the afternoon, and then had our own little bbq. I guess it is a little sad that I didn't carry on the tradition, but the only relative that is buried anywhere near us is my dad. Somehow, dragging 2 kids to a crowded veterans’ cemetery on a HOT day didn't seem appealing, especially since I had taken them there a few months ago.

I don't feel too bad. They got to visit my grandmother's grave in the desert cemetery in New Mexico on the way back from California. She would have liked that.

Another Break

On Monday, Steve's boss asked if he would go to San Antonio to work on a project for the next 4 weeks. He'll be working 12 hour days, 7 days a week. He left yesterday. Lexi and I cried and cried as we said good bye and for a little while after he left. He was quite emotional too. Even though it was a sad departure, this little trip is quite a blessing for us both.

Yesterday, Steve and I went to the lawyer's office so he could sign some papers, basically acknowledging that he knows about the divorce proceedings. It was a heart wrenching experience for both of us. This process causes huge emotional swings and very little sleep. On a positive note, we had several good conversations on the phone and text messages during his drive. That helps me to believe we will be able to continue to be good friends.

I am actually so happy that he got to do this business trip for his sake. At the very least, he will have a chance to get some sleep in a quiet hotel room. Perhaps, he will even get to feel like a normal person again instead of a crazy guy stuck on an emotional roller coaster.

The separation also gives me a chance to work on getting our house ready to show for renters without feeling so guilty. I know all the preparations are hard for him to watch. Taking junk to storage and charity will be emotionally easier for me without him watching or helping.

Oh yeah, I should mention that we are planning to go visit him at least once during his trip. We both want him to spend as much time with the kids as possible.

The Plan: Moocher

When I went to California, I had one main purpose – to get a break. I didn’t have anything else in mind. In fact, I was only planning to be there for two weeks. It wasn’t until we were on the road headed there that I decided it would be nice to stay longer. Two weeks didn’t seem like enough. During our visit, my mom had mentioned that we were welcome to move there. I kind of laughed it off. She even said she was really going to miss the kids. I told her to “be careful what you wish for.”

I came back to Texas knowing that moving to California was an option, but one that I kept in the back of my mind. Unfortunately, things were worse here. It was obvious right away. I realized that I needed to start the divorce process faster than I had planned. California is the BEST option.

With all the changes that the kids are going through, my main goal is to find a way to avoid daycare. Their lives will be disrupted enough without having me go back to working full time (plus) and sticking them in day care all within a short time period. I want to minimize the impact on them as much as possible.

My plan is to put our place up for rent, pack a few things, and drive us out to California. I’ll keep working part time from home, pray that Steve pays child support, and basically mooch off my mom for the next year.

There is one thing that I have realized...even during this rough period in my life, I have many things to be thankful for. First, I love my kids more than life itself. They make all this completely worth it. Second, I am glad that I have a great place to go so that I have this option. I realize that my mom & step-father are making a huge sacrifice for us. Third, I have had many wonderful friends go way out of their way to be there for me. Fourth, problems can always be worse (or get worse) so I am thankful that things aren't worse at this time. Fifth, my company sent me a laptop, which just makes me happy.

Weekend of Meaningful Dates

This is probably a good weekend to have lots of emotional breakdowns. Today is my dad's birthday. He has been gone for about three and a half years. Then, tomorrow is our wedding anniversary. Given the news I announced in my last post, you can guess that I am not celebrating either day. In fact, I am slightly happy that I haven't been getting a lot of sleep, have way too much to do and think about, and have a huge workload for the week. However, I do hope Steve and I make time to do something fun with the kids.

That brings me to the other thing that I am thankful for... we are not fighting. Most divorces probably involve lots of shouting matches, name calling, and hate. Ours is mostly about sadness and an agreement to remain friends. I truly hope we continue to pull it off. I think we both prefer for it to go like this, plus it makes it much easier on the kids.

Knowing Me, Knowing You

Tomorrow, I am going in to sign a contract to get the divorce process started. I don't think the internet is the place to go into details. I'll just say that I have a VERY good reason. Divorcing someone, especially someone that you are still in love with and they are still in love with you, is EXTREMELY difficult (much more than I even imagined). However, you can only give someone a million chances before it makes you insane.

I am not trying to make light of it, but since I am on an ABBA kick and I am TIRED of being emotional:
Knowing me, knowing you (ah-haa)
There is nothing we can do
Knowing me, knowing you (ah-haa)
We just have to face it, this time we're through
(this time we're through, this time we're through
This time we're through, we're really through)
Breaking up is never easy, I know but I have to go
(I have to go this time
I have to go, this time I know)
Knowing me, knowing you
It's the best I can do

Just Like Muriel Heslop

When I was in California, my mom decided that I needed to see one of her favorite movies of all times – Mama Mia. She bought the movie and of course I loved it. In fact, we watched it several times and she even bought me a copy. She said that the movie makes her feel happy and I would have to agree. I think it is a combination of the ABBA music, fun characters, beautiful ocean water, the Greek island, interesting story line, and amazing actors. I’ll add a clip for fun:



During our drive back, we listened to my sister’s ABBA Gold CD and my mom watched the movie again on the DVD player. When we came to Houston, we watched Muriel’s wedding because I have a copy and my sister hadn’t seen it before. There is a clip in there where Muriel explains why she had been obsessed with ABBA music and basically it was because it cheered her up. When Muriel’s life got better, she stopped listening because her life was “as good as an ABBA song.” For more fun, here is a clip from that movie:



My life has been quite tough (things I don’t want to go into on the internet), so I guess this is a sign that I need ABBA right now. I have watched Mama Mia a few times and have started listening to my old ABBA CD. I think this is better than therapy. Ok, at least it brings a smile to my face and it is cheaper than therapy.

The Swine That Flew

We’re home and I think I should have seen the torrential rains that followed us from Fort Stockton all the way home as a bad omen. We were slip sliding our way across Texas with a few very scary hydroplaning incidents and times where we could only see a few feet in front of our vehicle. The rain didn’t even clear up once we arrived. It rained enough for severe flooding and school closures.

Now that the rain has subsided, the big issue in Texas is swine flu. Quite honestly, I’d heard the reports throughout our road trip, but figured that it wouldn’t come to our area in the suburbs. WRONG!

Yesterday afternoon, I took the kids for a walk right about the time school was letting out. There is a junior high about a block from our house. We have to pass by it to get out of our neighborhood. As we were rounding the corner, I saw news helicopters flying over the school. I thought that there must have been a car accident. We kept walking, but I didn’t see anything except kids excitedly leaving the school. I overheard one kid talking on the phone saying that the school was being closed because of Swine flu.

When we came home, I turned on the news to see if it was true & it was. I couldn’t believe it. Lexi decided that she wanted to break the news to her dad. She said, “Dad, the school is being closed because the swine flew.” She even added arm motions for effects. It is always nice to have a little laugh.

Unfortunately, my kids seem to be coming down with something. I don’t think it is the flu. I am guessing that Lexi has an ear infection and Jordan is getting a cold. Never the less, I’ll be keeping them away from everyone for a while until their immune systems are back to normal.

Not Ready to Leave

Our time in California is quickly coming to an end, and honestly, I am not ready to leave. I know I have been here for about 6 weeks, but it feels more like two. Time certainly flies when you are mostly having fun. I would probably stay longer, but there are some pressing issues I need to attend to in Texas. Besides, I am not sure that a working vacation is considered "real life." Then again, who wants to deal with the reality of life?

One of my friends from Texas called about 2 weeks ago to see how we are doing. She jokingly asked me if I plan to stay indefinitely, because she knows that I am not exactly the kind of person that establishes roots. I had to laugh. I really like Texas, besides I just can't imagine how people can afford to live in San Diego.

After talking to her, I decided to do some simple price checking. First, every item in the grocery store seems to be at least $1 more than it is in Texas. Also, gas is about $0.40 a gallon more. Now for the big things, a tiny studio apartment is slightly more than we pay for our mortgage, property taxes, and home owners association fees put together. There is also a little church on the corner by my mom's house that has a child care program. I checked out their website and discovered that sending one child there 2 half days a week costs the same a month as sending my two kids to 3 days from 9am to 2:30pm. That was a big shocker. I didn't look into anything else, but I am guessing that things like car insurance and utilties are substantially more too.

So, HATS off to the Californians for finding a way to make it all work. I know there is no way to put a price on some of the benefits like the beach, moderate weather all year, and of course the ability to go to SeaWorld every day for one low price. I will miss it all.

**Should I even mention that the thought of adding California to the list of states I've lived in seems exciting? Yes, I am crazy.

Easter with my Mom

This Easter I learned a very important thing.... Easter should always be spent with mom. I was completely spoiled. It started off with a surprise Easter basket that Lexi found when she was looking for hers. I can't even remember the last time I got an Easter basket probably the last time I lived with her. It contained a Sees chocolate egg, a chocolate bunny, and bath products. Simply Heavenly! Besides the basket, we had lots of fun activities for the kids. Then, in the evening, we sat down for a wonderful Easter dinner that I didn't cook.

Hmmm... I could get use to this life. Soon, my mom will realize that spoiling me makes me never want to leave & then she'll wise up. :)

Good Friday

When your working in an office, every Friday is a good Friday. Now, that I work from home I tend to find myself working on the weekends. I guess the good thing about the weekends though is that my in-box for my work e-mails isn't as active with things I need to take care of. I also don't feel as guilty if I don't manage to make time for work.

Speaking of that, working from home really isn't as ideal as it sounds, at least when you have little kids. Ideally, I could get all the work done when they are napping or in the evening after I put them to bed. In reality, my workload is either insane or practically nothing. During the insane times, working while trying to keep them happy and life moving forward becomes extremely stressful. Imagine trying to write a meaningful blog post with your kids screaming in the background. Now, add a pay check to it, with people counting on you, and a deadline. Tough, right? My neighbor has told me to "just pop a no-doze and work through the night." That makes me laugh because I am not a college kid who can do that for a few days and then recover by sleeping for a full day. Life must go on. Kids require some sort of schedule even if it is only eating, sleeping, and playing. I must keep everything going.

I guess I sound like I am complaining, but I would not trade this to go back into the office. I just want to say that it is quite a bit more stressful and that I am looking forward to next fall when both kids are in the mother's day out program for three days a week.

I don't even know why I went off on this tangent that started with Good Friday. Mainly, I wanted to say that I am still in California. I've decided to stay here until the end of April. With my mom & sister's help, I have been able to work, entertain the kids, and actually get some much needed sleep. Perhaps, this will help me deal with real life when I go back to Texas. Anyway, today is good Friday and I just want to say.... HAPPY EASTER!

SeaWorld

I have always thought it would be kind of fun to visit all three SeaWorlds. I have been to SeaWorld Orlando many times throughout my life. I have even been to the one in San Antonio. After today, I can say that I have been to all three.

Dolphins

Flamingo

Shamu


Penguins

Walrus

Completely Different

Yesterday, my sister and I went to get our hair cut. We didn't have an appointment so we put our names on the list and came back. She was entertaining/feeding the kids in the car while I went in. When I was done, we switched places and the same guy cut her hair. The stylist was a bit shocked that we are sisters. He asked her how I got straight blonde hair while she has curly brown hair.

The funny thing is that we have very little in common. I look more like our mom’s side of the family and she looks like our dad’s side, but that is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to our differences. I think our biggest difference is our personalities. I am very much an oldest child. I am ambitious, driven, a bit bossy, and have high expectations in life. She is a typical baby of the family with her laid back personality and go with the flow attitude.

On top of that, there are 14 and a half years between us. That means a generational gap. She doesn’t remember what it was like before everyone had personal computers and cell phones. Plus, she dresses like a 21 year old, while I try to avoid being too trendy and tend to stick to classic styles.

We’ve been hanging out a lot this week and I often wonder what people think. Our age difference is enough that people wouldn’t suspect that we are friends. She is old enough to be the mother of my kids, but they look like me. Perhaps, they come to the conclusion that she is our nanny. Hmm… I wonder.

*By the way, the picture is 9 years old. I couldn’t find a more recent one with just the two of us.

Updated Photo (yes, I look MUCH older):

Happy St Patty's Day

We are in San Diego and are having a great time! I hope everyone else is enjoying St Patrick's Day as much as we are.

Spring BREAK

2009 is turning out to be one HELL of a year and I wish I meant that in a good way. Last week, I realized that I need a break. While looking at the calendar, I noticed that Lexi’s spring break is coming up. I figured that it was a good time to get out of here and take a breather.

This may sound strange, but I don’t remember ever going on a “spring break” before. I am guessing that when most people/college kids plan their spring breaks, their planning focuses on:

1. FUN
2. Proximity to water/the ocean
3. Price

My list is bit different. I had to choose a destination based on:

1. Taking my desk top computer, because getting out of work is not part of the much need break. Also, I don’t have a lap top. Buying a cheap one isn’t an option because of all the graphics software I need on it.
2. Help with the kids. I would like the kids to have fun during the times I have to get a little work done. It would also be nice not to have to do every little thing for them once in a while.
3. Price. I have cut back on a lot of expenses this year.

All things point to visiting my mom. Fortunately, for me, she lives in San Diego fairly close to the ocean so this trip covers both lists. As for help with the kids, besides my mom, my sister lives there and is only taking a couple of evening classes. She’ll get to help me entertain the kids during the day while my mom is at work. Other than the LONG drive, I am looking forward to Spring BREAK.

Yeehaw!

I love this time of year in Texas. Between Texas Indepenence Day and loads of Rodeos, there are plenty of opportunities to wear our cowboy and cowgirl gear. What could be more fun? I guess I need to buy some boots for me.

Bathroom Conversation

Hubby: What do you use that sandwich making thing for?

Me: Um....You mean my flat iron (pointing to it)?

Hubby: Yeah

Me: It straightens my hair so it isn't wavy.

Hubby: Don't women want curly and wavy hair?

Me: (I suddenly get a flash back to the late 80s & early 90s, when big bangs and perms were the in thing.) Curly hair is fine, but a little wave is annoying.

Happy Valentines Day!

Proximidade Award

Del from My Relish Blog has kindly selected my blog for an award, which kind of makes me feel guilty since I have been neglecting it lately. Maybe this is the motivation I needed.

The Proximidade Award is described as:
‘This blog invests and believes in PROXIMITY - nearness in space, time and relationships. These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in prizes for self-aggrandizement! Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers!’

This blog award should be sent to your favorite eight bloggers and they, in turn should forward to eight of their favorites. You should include the text for Proximidade (above) in your announcement blog.

As you know, it is not easy picking eight blogs for an award. All of the blogs I read tend to draw me in because they are charming and/or candid. I guess I'll select some of them that I can imagine being friends with in the real world and I am going to list them in random order:

Tropic of Mom: Her blog contains beautiful pictures of Florida, fun stories, and she is pregnant. What mom doesn't like reading posts about pregnancy?

Brand New Tatoo: There is a lot that has happened to her in life and she writes openly about it all. I love her honesty.

Crazy Bloggin Canuck: She is a popular blogger who writes very creatively and really pulls people in. Who doesn't love her?

Amyeliz: She is witty, funny, candid, and a million other great things.

Aimee-Enchalada: She is kind hearted, yet makes me laugh with her sometimes snarky comments. Plus, she organized a whole Valentines exchange, which is super fun.

Aerin's Cranberry Blog: She always has interesting and well-thought-out topics. We've even exchanged a few wondeful e-mails. She is a very understanding person.

Now, for 2 recently discovered blogs by people I know in real life, but don't know about this blog and will only discover it if people click over there & they track it.

Pixie Chick: She is a free spirit who is extremely creative and kind. I knew her in high school, when people thought she belonged in the 1960s because of the way she dressed, played guitar, and loved the Beatles. I always liked her. She lives in SLC and started having kids at a fairly young age. Now, she is going to the University there and is about to have a book published.

Mortensens: I also knew the writer of this blog in high school. She has one of those cute little family blogs and has become quite the cake decorator.

Here I am at the end of the list with a few more blogs that I had intended on awarding. I don't read a whole lot of blogs anymore. If I read yours and/or your blog is listed on my side bar, please know that you are worthy of the Proximade Award in my eyes.

Everything is Fine

Two weeks ago, I called a friend. Immediately, I knew something was wrong. She denied it and tried to make small talk. We have been friends for a long time and I know probably all of her secrets, but I played along. A few minutes into the conversation, she burst into tears and said she couldn’t talk right now.

Every few days since then, I have called her and slowly she divulged all the different issues bothering her. Mainly, she was worried that her career had taken a nose dive. For the past seven years, she has been working for the devil-incarnate. I have been hearing some rather extreme horror stories since she started. The whole thing finally blew up and she is suddenly without a job in a time when the economy is frightening. On top of that, every shot she has had turned sour as soon as they checked with past employers (we all know which one). I am actually listed as one of her references, because she assisted me with Marketing at a company where we worked together. I have yet to receive a call.

I gave her a few words of advice, but nothing very helpful. Two nights ago, the answer suddenly came to me. I knew exactly who she should work for and no other references besides mine would be necessary. Yesterday, after I made a few calls, she was offered a dream job working from home. Maybe I shouldn't say "dream job," she isn’t making an ideal salary to start off. However, by the end of the day, she was walking on sunshine. She went from the depths of despair to the highest of highs.

I have been thinking about this situation since then and I realize that opening up to others and networking can really work miracles. You never know who will be your link in the chain. For a while, I didn’t even realize that I was that link for her. This world really is small. Now, I just have to take my own advice and stop keeping all my problems bottled up. ...we'll see.

Lexi Turns Three

Today, Lexi turns three. In many ways, I can't believe that she is growing up so quickly. On the other hand, it is hard to remember what life was like before she was born. I am actually glad she is three now. It will sound goofy, but for the last 2 months she has been saying something that kind of makes me want to panic. She says, "Momma, Jordan is one and I am two." It makes me feel like I had them too close together. Fortunately, that ends today. She is three and he is one, which sounds much better.

Lexi's Perspective on Today

This morning, I had the Today show on while we ate breakfast and cleaned the house. I took a few minutes to explain to Lexi that we are getting a new President today and that his name is Barack Obama. Here are some of her funny comments:

“Yeah, Rock Obamie!”

I pointed out the huge crowds and she said, “That is a lot of cheerleaders!” Then later, “Those aren’t cheerleaders, mommy. They have flags.”

She constantly asked me who different people were. When I pointed out George Bush, Sr. She said, “Just like George the monkey.” (a.k.a. Curious George)

Her innocent comments always make me laugh.

Kid Fears

A few nights ago, I heard Lexi crying. I went into her room to see what was wrong. She was half awake and complaining that the “black lady” was going to get her. Since she doesn’t know any terms for racial differences, I knew she didn’t mean African American. So, I asked her which black lady. She told me the one in Sleeping Beauty. Since then, she is scared of her dark room and it is my fault.


As a teenager, I babysat a lot of kids so I know that the Disney Princess movies can be scary. That is why I planned to wait until Lexi was at least 5 to let her watch them. Last week, I broke my own rule. Lexi wanted to watch a movie, Jordan was taking a nap, and I had a LOT of work to do. I rationalized that she is advanced for her young age and that she really likes the princesses. Besides, she doesn’t seem to be afraid of anything. …blah, blah, blah. Of course at the end of the movie, she talked about Aurora and the fairies and everything nice. I didn’t think much of it until I heard about the “black lady.” I’m back to the rule about waiting until she is FIVE.