Ten Years Later

Why is it always the big anniversaries that make us reflect on life and what we've learned since then?  Ten years ago (Friday the 17th), I got married.  Of course, "we got married" sounds better, but after being divorced for almost 4 years, it is definitely "I" in quite a few ways.

At church this month, I have been invited to attend a special marriage class during Sunday school.  They are doing month long courses and filing us through alphabetically.  By invited, I mean not only is it my turn alphabetically, but they printed out a special invitation specifically for me and got substitutes to teach the 9 year old class that I am in charge of.  It seems a little awkward for me, as a divorced woman, to attend marriage class.  Mormons believe that families, specifically marriages, are the highest priority in life.  That is probably why they have a rather low divorce rate.  Last time I saw a statistic is was 20%.  There are 500 people in our ward (a.k.a. congregation).  I believe that there are only 3 women that are divorced.  One man is in the process of getting divorced.  There is also one lady that is in her 30s that has never been married.  We're definitely a minority.

I like to approach things with an open mind.  A couple was asked to teach these classes.  I know them and quite like them.  Each week, they cover a different topic.  The first one was communication.  The second was forgiveness.  Today, it was intimacy.  Next week is financial security/budgeting.  I have been attending the class and could easily feel like the odd man out.  Most couples are sitting together holding hands. There are always one or two women whose husband isn't in class for one reason or another.  I sit off to the side and they join me.  I don't really contribute to the class.  I just listen.

I have read a lot of self-help books on divorce as well as marriage.  All they do is confirm what I know in my heart, that I was an amazing wife.  Sure I annoyed him at times, but I did A LOT of things right and was more forgiving than I probably should have been.  He'll tell you that too.

Life has really changed over the last 10 years, but I truly feel like I am where I need to be and doing what I need to do.  Friends often ask me if I want to get remarried.  Even though I am not dating, the answer is definitely YES.  Who doesn't want to believe in that dream?  I see lots of couples making it work and so I know it can.  Cheers to a better future!  Maybe I'll even go on a date this year.  It would be nice to think a guy found me at least slightly attractive.

Twin Week

Last Tuesday (May 7th), my youngest brother sent me a text that the doctor was sending his wife to the hospital.  I called my mom to see if that meant the twins were going to be born.  She told me that his wife had toxemia and would be having an emergency c-section.  The good news was that she had made it to full term with them.  We were all excited to hear how big they were.  The boy, Elijah, was 6 lbs 5 oz and 19.75" long.  The girl, Priscilla, was 5 lbs 9 oz and 19" long.  We were all very excited.

Elijah (left) - Priscilla (right)

Sadly, the next day my mom called to tell me that Elijah had a blocked intestine and had to be life-flighted to a hospital in a bigger town.  The hospital where they were at couldn't get it cleared and realized he might need surgery.  Plus, he was having trouble breathing.  As my mom was asking my brother questions, she learned that the babies were rushed out right after being born and that his wife hadn't even seen Elijah yet.  My brother was going to go with Elijah to the new hospital.  Priscilla and his wife would stay in that hospital.  His mother-in-law would stay with mom & baby girl.  My mom decided that she needed to be up there with him.  She booked a flight and headed out that day.

Things got a little better for Elijah the next day.  The new hospital was able to get the intestine unblocked without surgery.  He was also breathing 99 to 100% on his own.  However, Elijah wasn't very active and was not interested in eating.  Later that day, my brother was able to get him to drink a teaspoon for one of his feedings.  He had to rely on a tube that went through his nose and down into his belly to get the rest.

Two days later (11th), my brother's wife and his daughter were released from their hospital.  A room was set up for them at the Ronald McDonald house.  He drove over to get them (1.5 hours away) while my mom stayed with Elijah.  They were thrilled to be all together.  Even though they had a room across the street, they were all able to stay in the hospital room with Elijah.  The nurses were very nice about helping with Priscilla too.  They weighed her every day and checked up on how much she was eating.        

Sister-in-law & brother with babies  

Yesterday, Elijah was released and they were able to go home.  Now, the real fun begins.

Priscilla