New Arrival

My sister, the one any only Freckle Face Girl, has asked me to declare to the world that she has had her baby! Little Jordan was born at 4:15 houston time and I (Auntie Paige) got his first picture in a text message not two seconds ago! He is adorable! Six pounds nine ounces, and 18 1/4 inch tall. Imagine how large he would have been if they'd waited a month!

There are no problems, he's breathing just fine and he's been bathed and swathed. As soon as I get some e-mailed pictures I'll guest post them here :)

-Auntie Paige

Sending the Cards Early

I don’t know if most people have strategies for when they send out Christmas cards, but I usually send them near the beginning of December. It is a great thing to check off the "To Do List." I also figure that people start decorating right after Thanksgiving, so they are already in the holiday spirit. Plus, some people display their cards as part of their festive décor. I guess I could even rationalize by saying it is fun to be one of the people that kick off the card sending frenzy. I try to get most of them done near Thanksgiving.

This year, I have sent them before December. That is right, they have all been mailed. I will blame it on two things (because nothing is ever my fault). One, there is an entire week of November after Thanksgiving. How can I possibly wait an entire week for December to start so that I can put them in the mail? I hate having them sit around staring at me. Two, I am trying to get all of my Christmas preparations done early so that I can be ready for the baby.

My family and friends already know that I am a wacko for holidays, so they shouldn’t be too surprised. As for Steve’s contacts, they will just have to get used to it. Soon, they will come to expect it from me.

Two Ate Too Much

Our Thanksgiving was wonderful. We laughed and talked with everyone there. Lexi played with the kids and jumped right in whenever an adult read or did an activity with them. Not only did we enjoy the company, but two of us really stuffed ourselves. Our bellies were out there. You can see it in the picture above. I am the one on the left. The one on the right is going to have a baby girl the day after tomorrow. She'll be pushing hers out while I am trying to keep mine in a little longer.

Morning in the Hospital

My new thanksgiving thankful list should include the fact that I was just released from the hospital. This morning, I was feeling a tremendous amount of pressure and pain, so I called the doctor. She told me to go to the hospital.

I called my husband to come home from work and then called a friend to ask if I could drop off Lexi. Fortunately, she was more than willing to help out. She even offered to come pick Lexi up, but I know she has 3 little ones and that task can be quite difficult. After dropping Lexi off, I came back to pack a bag (just in case) and Steve showed up a few minutes later. We headed to the hospital.

Apparently, I am already dilated to 2cm and my contractions were 4 minutes apart. The baby's heartbeat was fine, but he is sitting VERY low. They decided to give me 3 injections of tributerol. I was told if it worked, I could go home and if it didn't they would keep me. I am only 34 weeks. Lucky for me, it did the trick. I was sent home with the instructions to "take it easy" and "drink plenty of liquids."

--Nothing was mentioned about bedrest & of course I didn't want to ask. I guess I am free to enjoy a relaxing Thanksgiving & my hubby has to make the dishes I promised to bring.

Thankful For

The last few nights have been rough with very little sleep. The worst was last night because of pressure and pain that goes beyond being uncomfortable. I am going to have to give in and call the doctor this morning, which I HATE to do. Rather than continuing to rant about myself, I am going to think about being thankful.

Looking back over this year, I realize that a lot has happened and that we are in a better place in life. I have a lot to be thankful for including:

1. A healthy pregnancy (being able to get pregnant again)
2. Moving from Miami to Houston
3. Becoming a SAHM so I can spend loads of time with Lexi
4. Having great friends nearby
5. A happier husband, who seems to be recovering from the death of his mother
6. Upcoming visits/help from family members
7. Spending 4 days with my husband for Thanksgiving weekend (big help with the crazy toddler)
8. Having a toddler that is excited about all things Christmas, including the music
9. Spending this holiday with good friends
10. Four days of cool weather starting tonight (first half of the week highs in the 80s, second half highs in the 50s)

Thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday. When I was working, the joy of having a 4 day weekend was one of the primary reasons. I also love spending the day with family and friends in a relaxed atmosphere. How often do you get together just to eat good food and hang out? As soon as it is over, you have a month of excitement while you prepare for Christmas. That is why – It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year.

Everyone Is Feminine

Lexi calls everyone “she.” She knows the difference between boys and girls. She even takes great pleasure in pointing them out. When we are out anywhere, she points at girls and says “She’s girl.” If it is a boy, she says “She’s boy.” For the most part, I don’t think anything about it.

However, when it comes to referring to her dad in a feminine sense, I can’t help but laugh until I cry. He always crinkles up his nose and gives me a strange look. It is especially funny when she calls his soft sided lunch cooler “Dada’s purse.” Like when Lexi told me, “She’s get dada’s purse from she’s truck.” Yes, Dada was getting his cooler out of his truck.

Oh, I can’t leave out when she called him the highest honor in her vocabulary, “a Princess.” It started off innocent enough. She said, “Lexi a Princess. Momma a Princess. Dada a Princess.” After a little snicker, I politely explained to her that boys don’t like to be called Princesses (ok, some might, but she isn't ready for that lesson).

As anyone can imagine, my very guys-guy/sports loving/construction type of husband is looking forward to having another boy in the house. I guess all this girly-ness is just a little much. At least, she likes football.

All About Complaining for 6 More Weeks

Yesterday, one of my friends told me that she can’t believe I am this far along and I never complain. Boy, do I have her fooled or what? You can bet that I started laughing. Me? Never Complain? Steve would certainly disagree. Would you believe that Lexi has started rubbing her back and pretending that it hurts? I can’t even hide my complaints with a little mimic around. I wish I could be the ultra-happy pregnant woman, but I saw a poll the other day that said something like 20% of women don’t like being pregnant. Well, that is me. I just want the baby already. Six weeks feels way too long.

I also was surprised by the numerous compliments I received yesterday. I actually made an effort to blow dry my hair, but that wasn’t the reason. Everyone that complimented me said something about me being such a cute pregnant lady. It didn’t take me long to put two & two together and realize that all of these comments came from mothers. I believe it must have been out of pity. They saw the big swollen belly and said to themselves, “that poor girl is gigantic.” They also must have reflected on the end of their pregnancies and felt sorry for me.

Last week, my mom was kind enough to confirm my suspicion about pregnancy being harder the older you get. She had me when she was 20 and my sister right before she turned 35. The energy level, recovery and everything was much easier in her 20s. I will be turning 35 a little after this baby is born. So, I feel I am entitled to continue my complaining streak at least for 6 more weeks. After that, I will complain about being sore, engorgement, my belly not shrinking fast enough, etc. etc. etc.

I am certainly a fun person to be around. Don’t you wish you were spending the holidays with me?

Snippets

While being a SAHM is the best (& lowest paying) job I have ever had, I have to admit that I don’t always feel like I have exciting things to share with others. When blogging or friends and former co-workers send me an e-mail asking how things are going, I don’t want to bore everyone with tales of toddler craft making and trips to the playground. Then again, it is not like working is all that thrilling either. What did I tell people back then?

Instead of a great entry, I am just going to share little snippets of life and things I have been thinking about.

1. 8 weeks to go before I push this baby out... funny, but that seems like FOREVER!

2. We have been invited to share Thanksgiving with some great friends that are like family. Actually, I practically lived at their house during a year of high school. My friend no longer lives around here & probably will not be back for Thanksgiving, but I am friends with her siblings and parents too. Yippee for Holiday gatherings with family-ish people!

3. Last night while sitting on the couch, I told my husband all about an article I read at the OB’s office. It was about sex during pregnancy. Most of the article was the standard blah, blah, blah. There was one thing that stood out though. The point of the article was that most men find the curves of a pregnant woman very feminine and attractive. I laughed so hard I almost cried. I find it funny because it feels more like a huge uncomfortable beer belly to me. Suddenly, I mentioned that he can’t say that I never talk dirty to him. Of course, his comeback was that I talked so dirty that it was gross!

4. At the breastfeeding class last week, there was a chic about to have her 4th. She was invited by the LC to talk about some things that have worked for her. She mentioned that her favorite way of dealing with having several kids and a new baby is a sling. My sister-in-law, who is about to have her 5th, has been annoying me with sling talk for years. Since the class, I have been thinking a lot about chasing a toddler while taking care of a baby and trying to get some things done around the house. Plus, I have a friend struggling with this issue now. New babies just love to be with their moms (ALL THE TIME). I had two different carriers with Lexi. She loved them, but both were uncomfortable for me. With a little research and asking around, I have stumbled on this sling. It is also supposedly great at helping moms breastfeed discreetly. I bought it, so we’ll see. By the way, I am thinking 4 to 6 months at the most (not the 2+ years they advertise).

5. Saturdays have pretty much lost their excitement. They are more like normal days because my husband often ends up working that day (for at least half the day). Back in my working days, it was always the highlight of the week. Even when he worked, I didn’t. I have used the last few to scrub the house because no play dates are scheduled. It is just another day to entertain the wild toddler. Sundays often take him away too, but I feel it more on Saturday.

6. I have been dying to go to the Texas Renaissance Festival for years. Now, that we live here it is a must do. Between Steve working and the heat, I have yet to go. I am pushing for this weekend. Hopefully, he’ll be off and the weather will cooperate. I don’t know how I will do on my feet all day, but if we wait much longer I know it will be too tough.

See nothing too exciting, but a few things going on.

Because I Don’t Want Breastfeeding to Suck …So Much

Yesterday evening, I attended a breast feeding class. I have been thinking about going to one since I was pregnant with Lexi. Actually, I really wanted to, but with my father’s death 2 months before she was born and working full time, I just didn’t feel I was up to it. Plus, I felt it was more important for us to do the birthing class. Scheduling time for that was about all I could handle at the time.

As many of you know, the first time around, breast feeding did not go so well. By the time we left the hospital, I was cracked and bleeding. Then came engorgement. I had no idea how horrible that was going to be. It didn’t take me long to fall in love with the breast pump and reunite that love every 3 hours. Let’s just say that I did NOT have a problem with production (quite the opposite).

There were many factors that made that time in my life a living hell including working at home trying to put in 40 hours with deadlines at the crazy point of the year in marketing, knowing that I would be back in the non-pump friendly office in a few short months, my husband losing his job less than a month after she was born, and numerous 2-hour trips to visit my mother-in-law who was in and out of the hospital and well on her way to losing her battle with cancer. While, I was so happy to have my sweet little baby I will freely admit that was a nightmarish time of life. Needless to say, the stress of breast feeding was just another issue for me to deal with, so I pumped and Lexi was fed breastmilk in a bottle for 3 months.

Since then, I have been bound and determined to have a much better experience the second time. It would be pretty impossible to have a similar or worse experience, so my odds are great. In general, I feel optimistic because I am not working, none of our close relatives have terminal cancer, and life is just going better. Breastfeeding will work this time, right? Well, I am not going to give up easily. Hopefully, this baby is a great at latching and if not, I have a lactation consultant that lives close by.

10 Week Countdown

When I was working, several of the younger girls asked me why I would want to go through pregnancy again knowing that it is uncomfortable and then very painful at the end. I told them that after being so uncomfortable for a while, you look forward to giving birth. It is not only about having a new baby, but moving out of the big belly stage. They seemed so fearful and fascinated that I had to point out that about half of the world's population is women. Most of them give birth at least once. Many of them go on to do it several times. It is part of life.

I am already at the stage where I am looking forward to giving birth. I have started watching "Birth Stories," A Baby Story," and "Bringing Home Baby," which I haven't done since I was pregnant with Lexi. I have also gone back to look at pictures and read what I wrote about giving birth to Lexi. I'll post it again for those feeling fascinated by this lately too:

Lexi's Birth Story

Thursday morning, we got up to go to the hospital. I had only slept 4 good hours and perhaps 1 more if you add up all the cat naps. I was just too excited. Steve seemed like he was taking forever. I made a breakfast burrito for him and packed our bags in his truck to speed things up as much as possible. He even wanted to stop at Starbucks to get himself a cup of coffee, but I told him I was just too insane right now for that. I was trying my best to act calm, but inside I was nuts. He was getting excited too, but was calm and wanted to live in the moment. I had tried to warn him the night before that I would be like this. Even if it had taken a total 1 minute to get there, I would have been crazy. I know how impatient/neurotic I can be about some things.

As soon as we got into the administrative office to sign papers, I was completely relaxed (which is how my crazy impatient-ness always goes). There was another couple in there and the wife was sitting in a wheel chair. She was already suffering from contractions and doing some of the breathing techniques. They started talking to us. I whispered to Steve not to tell her how dilated I was because she might be jealous that I am not in pain. They signed their papers and were sent to their room. We signed ours and were told to go to room 5, which was a mistake because that was their room. We were switched to 3 and the process began.

I changed into the gown (sounds so elegant). My doctor checked and found out that I was 5.5 cm dilated and everyone was amazed that I felt so good. My doc said that she was happy that I was being induced because without the pain, I could end up having the baby at home or in traffic on the way to the hospital. I was just happy that I had progressed to that level with virtually no pain. I started thinking about my grandma, Lorena (the one Lexi is named after), and about all the stories of her great tolerance for pain. I hoped that this would carry me throughout the birth, but knew better than to believe in it. It only took a few minutes for me to realize that was not going to be the case. Having my water break proved that. It was quick but agonizing. Plus, that was Steve's first ick moment. He handled it well.

The nurses hooked me up to the monitors, took blood, inserted the IV into my hand and started the pitocin drip. I started feeling the contractions right away and the pain gradually increased over the next few hours. Steve plugged in our CD player with a Sarah McLachlan CD to set a nice atmosphere. I have to admit that the contractions never got unbearable. When the nurse told me that I was dilated to 7 cm, I still said that I was ready for the epidural. I wanted to be able to relax before the pushing came. For some reason, I had a feeling that would be difficult. The anesthesiologist came in and sent Steve out. While they prepared and did the epidural, the anesthesiologist and nurse talked about how amazed they were that I didn't ever complain and was so calm. They decided that I just handle pain well and they wanted to clone me. I sat there not saying much and just kept thinking that things had been fine, but that this wasn't over yet.

I had the typical epidural story. Having the IV put in my hand hurt worse than the epidural or the catheter. Once it was in, Steve and I talked and joked for the next hour and a half. He told me that he wanted to run to his truck to get a Tums. I said that I was feeling something weird down there like I have to poop. He said he would be quick.

Right after he left (seconds), the doctor came in and said that I was dilated to 10 cm. They started setting up the room and I was anxiously waiting for Steve to return. He still wasn't back when they wanted me to start pushing. My doctor and nurse told me to grab my legs and they started cheering me on. We did the typical 3 sets of 10 seconds of pushing during contractions. We went through this twice before Steve got back. When he walked into the room, he looked a little frustrated and nervous about what he had missed. Apparently, he had been out in the hall trying to convince the security guard that his wife was in room 3 and not in room 5. It wasn't long before the next contraction started and he had to quickly join in by grabbing a leg and coaching on my right side.

The pushing went on for about 30 - 45 minutes with the doctor going to check on the woman in room 5. Then, the doctor came in and apologized because she had to perform an emergency C-Section. She told us that she called another doctor from her office to come and take over and that he would be here shortly. We all were listening, but as she turned around to walk out, Steve asked where she was going. I said to do the C-Section and he let out a big sigh of relief. He told us that he thought she was going to do an emergency C-Section on me. That explains why he suddenly looked so startled and nervous.

Anyway, the pushing continued and the other doctor showed up. Lexi actually moved down and crowned quickly, but then made little or no progress after that. He decided that they needed to turn off the epidural because he wanted me to push harder. He told me that it would take about an hour to wear off, but that I would get stronger & stronger as it did. That began what I consider as the next stage of pushing. The doctor pushed on my perineum to try to move delivery along. After several contractions, he told me that he needed to make a little more room for the baby to come out. I think that was a nice way of saying that I was getting an episiotomy. Unfortunately, I knew exactly what he was going to do.

We continued with the endless pushing and my original doctor came back to take over. She joked that the baby was waiting for her. By then, I was getting really tired and the epidural had disappeared. What could we do, but continue on? Everyone else in the room was getting excited. Steve had touched Lexi's head and was really into his role as coach. It didn't take long for the doc to say that I was pushing very well and she was surprised that I hadn't delivered already. She said that the cord must be wrapped around the baby's arm or leg. She pulled out the scissors and made even more room. By then, I was in so much pain that tears were rolling down my face. The nurse grabbed my hand and had me feel the top of Lexi's head. Even with that, I wasn't sure I could take any more of it, but I kept my mouth closed and pressed on. They all coached like crazy and her head finally popped out.

Although that was amazing progress, it didn't get any easier. I was fully bawling from the pain and each new step including delivering her shoulders and the rest of her body was excruciating. They plopped her on me and I barely had the awareness to care. The doctor announced that the delivery was so difficult because Lexi's umbilical cord was too short. She also said it was a good thing that Lexi wasn't born next week because the extra weight would have made an emergency C-Section probably the only option. Thank goodness, they induced me.

Next, I saw Steve cut the umbilical cord and he looked so happy. Unfortunately, I still had to deliver the placenta, which was fast, but horrible. Steve was torn between comforting me and wanting to look at Lexi, so I told him to go hold her. I was in agony as the doctor stitched me up. She took about 20 minutes. Steve looked down to see what was taking her so long. He held up his fingers to let me know that the cut was about 2". I asked the doctor how many stitches I was getting. She thoughtfully avoided the question and said it was several layers. Right then, I knew recovery was going to be hard.

I finally got to hold Lexi when the stitching was done. I removed the night gown and she latched on to my breasts fairly quickly. It was nice to be at that stage. I had her with me for about 30 minutes and then they took her to the nursery to be cleaned up and checked. I sent Steve with her. For 2 hours, I sat in the room trying to comprehend it all. My friend (Amanda), who was in the waiting room, came to talk to me. That was nice to have her there. We talked about all that happened, which I think was emotionally healthy for me.

Steve came back and we were transferred to one of the little rooms. Apparently, all the suites were full for the night. While lying in that room, I suddenly realized the extent of the pain of the stitches. I couldn't focus on anything, but the pain. I am not usually one to ask for things or complain, but I was at my wits' end. I called for the nurse to bring something to take the edge off. They called the pharmacy and got Motrin. They also gave me witch hazel pads and cream. It took a while to kick in, but the second I was able to think I suddenly became very sad that Lexi wasn't with us. I got up and made Steve walk me to the nursery to get her. They wheeled her to us and we headed back to our room. As I gingerly sat on the bed and held her, I felt a love that I never thought imaginable. My heart swelled and hasn't been the same since.

Hibernating Hermit

I am not quite sure how or why it has happened, but upon my return from Virginia I have morphed into hibernating hermit. Yes, I am a bit of a shut-in. Sure, we have gone out, but during the week (without Steve) it mostly consists of hour-long morning walks and quick trips to the grocery store. This certainly isn’t normal for me considering that I usually get cabin fever within half a day. I have been thinking about the reasons for me to act so out of character and I have come up with a few.

First, I feel like I have been pregnant for years. I have heard that the second pregnancy feels longer, but I don’t think my back or belly realizes that there was a break between Lexi’s birth and this pregnancy. I wish they would stop sending complaints to my brain. There is nothing I can do about it, so shut up! ...and, what is with the sharp pains shooting up from my tailbone? I don’t really care for those.

Second, it is now October. I would really like to experience a day when the temperature doesn’t hit 90+. I want to do outside activities, but the third trimester and heat just don’t mix well. I have even found a bunch of different festivals and fall events that look fun in decent weather. I have made it a new habit to check the 10 day forecast on weather.com almost every day. Please weather gods give this pregnant Houstonian a break soon before I am just too big to enjoy it.

Third, Lexi came back with a cold. It isn’t that big of a deal unless you consider that most of my friends have new babies. There is no way that I want to subject them to that, because they’ll probably want to return the favor in a few months. I would rather avoid it.

I think this streak is going to have to end soon though. The longer we stay inside the more wound up Lexi gets and the more exhausted that makes me. Help... I have fallen and I can’t get up! Next week, I will work on crawling out of this huge hole I have somehow dug during my lazy streak.

Baby Spacing

About a month ago, I walked into Michaels and saw a mother of a 9 month old that looked about 9 months pregnant. All I could think was that her kids are going to be REALLY close in age. I started shopping and forgot about it until I got to the check out. The lady behind me asked how old Lexi was and then commented that my kids will be close in age. I just laughed.

The strange thing is that I get this reaction quite often. I have always thought that 2 – 3 years was normal. Lexi and Jordan will be 23 months apart. I guess I must ask...what is the average? Am I off my rocker here? I certainly don’t have to fit within the norm. I decided to have another baby because I was ready. I would just like to know if ALL these people are lunatics or if I am. Usually, when they say that, I just laugh and say that I got a late start so there is no time to hold off.

Scheduled Birth

Friday, I had another OB appointment and ultrasound. I didn't have any big expectations. The software for my scanner is giving me problems, so I will not be able to post the picture. It looks a lot like the last one. BTW, it is still definitely a boy.

When the doctor sat down with me, she asked me the general questions like which hospital I want to deliver in & if I want an epidural (YES!). Then being me, I took the opportunity to drive home the fact that I want to be induced. She told me that she likes to plan ahead too & said we should schedule it now. I was a bit caught off guard because I didn't know she'd be willing to schedule this far in advance. Well - it looks like baby boy is going to be born on December 20th, unless he has earlier plans of course. It actually feels great to have a date in mind.

With This Baby

I have been thinking about the differences with this pregnancy and the last one. When a person is pregnant the first time, it is easy to get wrapped up in thoughts, feelings, and movements of the baby. Everything else (big or small) takes a back seat. Besides the emotional and physical aspects, there is so much preparation, shopping, and getting the nursery set-up.

The second pregnancy is much different. I have been through this all before. My bodily changes are not new and neither are the baby’s movements. Plus, the nursery is set-up and we basically have everything we NEED. So far, I have bought boy clothes and an old fashioned rocking chair, which I have been wanting since I was pregnant with Lexi. There are a few things I want/plan to get like this tandem jogging stroller, a bottle of gripe water, and blue pacifiers. When I think back to my preparations last time, there are some purchases I would have changed. Instead of getting the entire matching set of baby stuff from Graco (stroller, carrier, pack-n-play, swing, high chair, & diaper bag), I would have nixed the swing (likes it more now than she did as an infant), bought a stylish diaper bag, and gone with Combi for the stroller/carrier. I probably had more fun shopping for the matching stuff though.

During this pregnancy, I feel like I am mostly working on preparing Lexi for the transition. I will be using the next few months to get her used to a toddler bed, potty trained (hopefully), and being a tad more independent. She has already made big steps in becoming more comfortable with me holding babies. When we first got to Texas, I held my friend’s baby in a carrier (not so snuggly) & Lexi began screaming like an insanely jealous person. Now, I can hold and comfort the baby without it bothering her. Hopefully, by December, she will even be excited to have one around full time.

Of course, the new baby is always in the back of my mind, but it isn’t my main focus. Sometimes, I wonder if I should feel guilty about that, but I have too many things dividing my attention. It is just the fate of the non-oldest kids.

Pregnancy Update: Week 20

I guess since I just passed the midpoint of pregnancy, it is time to update. I went to the new OB last Friday. They put me through all the regular rigmarole, but my primary purpose was finding out the doctor’s feelings towards inducing. My main worry about this pregnancy is having the baby before I get to the hospital. Last time, I got to five centimeters without feeling a contraction so this scenario isn’t unrealistic. My OB in Miami made a point to let me know that this is a real issue. That is why I am worried. Supposedly, the second time things move a long a LOT faster. Fortunately, the hospital is very close. Unfortunately, I may be scrambling to get someone to take care of Lexi if my mom or sister isn’t in town yet. I have people, but not exactly next door neighbors, so it would take a little time. Also, my husband works about an hour away. I don't want to think about it anymore. I just want to avoid that whole mess.

We have picked a name... Jordan Tyler. He is quite active and has been kicking up a storm. I have seen quite a few new babies lately. They are so sweet and huggable. Since my toddler is only huggable for a second or when she is tired, I am looking forward to a cuddly baby again.

My belly seems gigantic. I am imagining that it is like it was at the end of my last pregnancy. However, I looked at some photos of me with Lexi around this stage and they are about the same, which means I have a lot more growing to do. That is something I am not looking forward to. My hips already hurt at night. I wake up and roll over several times. I guess things are moving a long rather normally.

The Big Ultrasound

Today, we found out we are having a very healthy & big BOY! The tech got several very good shots & kept saying, "it is still a boy." It wasn't really a surprise. As you can imagine, Steve is VERY excited. He told me that he is glad he will not be outnumbered soon. He was also shooting imaginary basketballs when we got out to the parking lot.

Totally Out There

Today, I ran into someone I haven't seen for about 6 months. The second he saw me, he said, "I didn't know you were pregnant!" He didn't even do a double take or anything.

With that, I guess, I can officially announce that my stomach has completely popped out. It happens so much faster the second time. People expect me to know the sex of the baby when they judge the size of my belly.

Speaking of pregnancy, what has happened to cinnamon bears? I got a craving them for about 2 months and have not found them anywhere. I understand that this might be a Miami thing (people just aren't that into hot things here). The minute I had the craving, I realized that I haven't seen them since I moved here. I didn’t think about it before, but I have been seriously looking for the past two months. I even went to 2 candy stores that specialize in all things gummi & was not lucky. I looked online, but the minimum orders for most places were over $15. I DON'T want or need that many!!! Finally, Amazon.com came through. Hopefully, I get them next week. I can't wait to put them into the freezer... even yummier that way.

12 Week Ultrasound

I realized today that this baby may be more like Steve than Lexi is. Who else stretches their long legs like that?

Heart Beat

Yesterday, I had a doctor’s appointment. It was a normal appointment, but it was the first time I heard the heart beat. I guess it is official. I do have a little one in this bulging belly. It (freckle fetus) is another squirmy one that will not hold still for long enough to hear more than a few beats.

Speaking of the belly, I am getting more & more frustrated about getting dressed. My stomach is too pudgy for normal clothes and too small for maternity clothes. I have some in between clothes, but not enough. I almost wanted to take the day off to avoid this dilemma. Unfortunately, I have a deadline coming up.

10 Week Mark

I passed the 10 week mark, which means the thing growing inside me is no longer an embryo. It is officially a fetus. "It" and "thing" sound so callous, but I don’t have a creative name. Perhaps, "little one" or "future babe" would be better. However, I am simply too exhausted to worry about terms of endearment.

I must admit that this pregnancy is different from the last one, but not in huge ways. Mainly, this is about my focus. Last time, pregnancy became the center of all of my attention. Other major things were going on like my dad’s brain cancer and my MIL’s lung cancer, but pregnancy was a nice distraction. I definitely preferred to keep that on my mind. We also had to buy lots of baby things to get ready for her. That kept me focused.

This time, I have a million different things on my mind. Some of them are a result of getting pregnant, like the fact that I need a new vehicle because my current one is just ridiculously small. We will be moving too, because our apartment is too small. I am all about planning and scheming to get what I want.

It is not that pregnancy isn’t on my mind at all. I guess it is always there especially when I either need to eat something quickly or can’t stand the smell of something. Plus, my belly has popped out much faster this time, so choosing my clothes every morning is already a task. Let me just say it again, the in-between/fat stage is no fun. There are a million reminders, but preparing for this baby is so different and my mind is all over the place.