Out for a Week

We had a great weekend with my friend and her baby. It is so fun to hold a little one (my girl is already a wild and crazy toddler). The only problem about the weekend is that it flew by too quickly. There was so much more for us to say and do. That is always the story, right?

My fun isn't ending though. I'll be out of touch with the blog world this week, because my mom is in town. Actually, her husband is attending a convention and she tagged along. I took a few days off, so we’ll be entertaining Lexi together.

Conversation at BYU

"Can you believe she is 22 and not married? What a loser!"

"I'll just die if I am that old and single. Maybe she shouldn’t have gone on a mission."

"If we end up graduating without getting married, we should join the Peace Corps and pretend that is what we always wanted to do."

My best friend from college is coming to visit this weekend. When I think back to how our relationship started, I have to laugh. We were freshman taking German class together. She started talking to me after class one day and we became instant friends. I can't even tell you how much time we spent complaining about how terribly boring our new town was and how much we missed our old lives (she talked about San Diego and I talked about Houston). College is supposed to be fun, right? I laugh thinking that we actually stayed long enough to graduate (she even went on to get a Masters).

Judging from the conversation above, you can see we succumbed to some of the accepted thinking there, but our friendship probably kept us from getting caught up in the normal cheesy lifestyle. We never baked cookies for guys or tried to get their attention mostly because we thought they were lame. BYU is all about rules most of which we kept. I know that we did not adhered to the rule about attending church 80% of the time, but when we did go we made sure to say hi to the bishop (hoping he would think we were there more often). We weren't partying or anything (you have to go WAY out of your way to find a nightlife there), but we just didn't fit the mold. We actually graduated without getting married or anywhere close to it (probably thanks to each other).

A few years later, she ended up in Manhattan and I ended up in Miami a world away from BYU. We were both single until our 30s and then married non-Mormons. She is bringing her cute little baby boy this weekend. Our kids will get to meet for the first time and I know we'll be laughing about how stupid we were.

Update On Baby

This morning, I heard that the baby was born but no details. I also found out that they had decided to keep this baby no matter what & avoided most of the tests/additional ultrasounds. That just broke my heart.

Soon after that, I got an e-mail with pictures of my cousin’s baby. He is a month old and was born with severe birth defects. The pictures caught me off guard. I had heard that my cousin was faced with the same decision (right before Thanksgiving) and decided to keep the baby. He is cute, but it is obvious that he will have a difficult life. I had to catch my breath and began to worry about the couple again and of course my cousin.

Finally, I heard the news that everything went well. She was born at 5:25pm last night. She weighed 7 lbs 13 oz and is 20.5 inches long (same weight & only 0.5 inch shorter than Lexi). Good News!

Remembering Child Birth

Today, someone I know is in the hospital trying to get a stubborn baby to emerge. It is practically all I can think about. We have talked in detail during several functions over the past few years, but we are not friends. Still, I feel a connection to her.

It started when I was in the hospital giving birth to Lexi (15 months ago). She was in a different hospital having an abortion. The fetus she was carrying had severe birth defects. The doctors told her that even if it made it the whole 9 months, it would surely die in the first week. After a lot of pondering and praying, she and her husband felt that an abortion was the right thing for them. The night after I gave birth to Lexi, I held her and cried for them. I couldn’t even begin to imagine having to face a decision like that.

A few weeks later, I received a card from her and spoke to her husband. I was completely blown away by how well they accepted the situation. They were absolutely positive that they would have a healthy baby in the future and that life turned out the way it was supposed to.

Today, their faith proves to be right. She is several days past her due date, so her doctors decided to induce her. I have heard that it has taken all day for her to get to 5 cm and the pain is unbearable. Fortunately, she gave in and got the epidural. I hope their dreams come true soon and she’ll be holding her own beautiful baby girl tonight.

I know I will be holding Lexi and be feeling extreme joy for them.

Knock Off Chic

Last week, a strange street chic walked into our office building. She was dragging a large bag on wheels. Her painted on jeans were paired with a red tank top that was too small, white tennis shoes, and a bright yellow leather purse. The moment she opened her mouth, her New Jersey accent came pouring out.

As she unzipped her bag, she announced that she had the best deals for us. To make herself more appealing, she actually called us “girlfriends” and handed us knock-off purses. I was told to take a whiff of the amazing Fendi Spy Bag (real one pictured above). It was difficult to hold in the laughter because she was trying too hard and I am just not that big into purses. In fact, I didn't even know that Fendi had a "Spy Bag."

Out of politeness, I told her that I just wasn't interested. Then she hit me with the price. I chuckled and thought, for a little more I would rather have a real Coach purse. I guess I am just not that trendy.

Passing of Loved Ones

There are so many crazy things going on in my life lately. Sometimes, it is easy to be mired down in all of the little distractions, but this week I had moments where I was able to step back and look at the big picture. It is all about relationships.

On Monday, I attended the opening and first burials of the South Florida National Cemetery. While I was extremely impressed with the new cemetery, I could not help but reflect on my father’s burial a year and a half ago, especially since he was buried in a National Cemetery. Re-experiencing the details of that day like the little outdoor pavilion, trumpets, flag folding, etc. brought back a flood of memories mostly good (being surrounded by my family).

At the Opening Ceremony, I guess I looked like I was there on official business because quite a few people approached me to ask questions. I talked to several of the family members about the passing of their uncle. I also spoke to a cute older couple that just wanted to see the cemetery because they planned on being buried there in the future. These conversations really made me think about life and appreciating the special moments and relationships. When I got back to Miami, I heard the news about the Virginia Tech shootings.

That isn't all, one of my favorite bloggers, Dayngr, is going through the death of her mother. Her posts and tributes have been so touching. I can not even begin to imagine what it is like to lose your mother. My husband lost his mom 10 months ago and every month without fail he falls into a slump that last several days. I don’t think a day goes by that he doesn’t miss her. I hear that the death of your mother is something that you never recover from even though you get better at living with it.

These moments force one to step back and realize that life is about enjoying the people around us and appreciating the time we have with them.

Working Mom

Yesterday, I got a call from a colleague (she does marketing for a rival firm) asking me how I handle it all. She has a 3 year old and the pressures of work, a child, and home are too much. She wanted to know why I don’t appear to be stressed out and insane. I started laughing because just that morning I had gotten mad at my husband for not helping enough (despite the fact that he is feeling under the weather and works a million hours). …So, yes, it is hard and I am not always calm.

We had a long talk about this topic and realized there are some differences. I have stopped traveling for work, because I don’t want to and I don’t have anyone to take care of Lexi during the evenings and weekends. Her mom takes care of her son when she travels. Neither of us stay late at the office although we take work home to do after the little ones are asleep. My company is not scrambling for work, so I only pursue great projects. Both of us believe that spending quality time with our little ones is a top priority, which means that everything else comes in last.

While both of us wish we could make everything with our little ones, work, and home perfect, it is just too tough. Our main difference is that she beats herself up and kills herself to live up to her high expectations and I usually do what I can and live with it. Sure I am stressed that my desk is piled high with work and that there is some clutter on the kitchen bar at home, but Lexi is happy and we’ll all live. Besides, nobody is perfect, right?

All Hail the Tax Gods

For the most part, I am a "do it yourself" type of person. I don't know if this part of me comes from being independent or the idea that you should not pay someone else to do something you can do yourself. I am trying to get over that second part because time is precious and hiring others helps the economy. Ok, tangent over.

For many years, I figured out my own taxes. I started using Turbo Tax a few years ago and was satisfied. Then, 3 years ago, the results came back showing that we owed quite a lot of money. My first instinct was to hold off filing. Fortunately, one of my friends mentioned that they have a great lady that does their taxes. She is a real whiz (within the legal boundaries). I took our tax papers to her and was very pleased with her magic. We still owed, but very little. Last year was pretty much the same story. This year though, she worked her magic and we are getting a hefty return. She is definitely worth paying for.

Mi Nina Bilingue / My Bilingual Girl

Living in Miami has enabled me to pick up a little Spanish. Ok, so I have been here over 8 years and "little" is a good description. I am not proud of this. I truly wish I was bilingual. However, I am getting better thanks to Lexi and her daycare. She spends all day with 2 teachers that only speak Spanish and then nights and weekend with us (English speakers). Because of that, she knows some words in Spanish, some in English, and some in both.

Bilingual Words:
Kiss (beso)
Nose (nariz)
Eye (ojo)
Hair (pelo)
Mouth (boca)
Ear (oreja)
Ball (bola)

Spanish Words:
Tirar (throw)
Agua (water)
Ven aca – ms? (come here)
Dado (dice)
Gato (cat)

The problem is that sometimes it takes me a while to figure out that her babbling is more than just baby talk, she is speaking a word in Spanish. For example, she has been saying dado (dice) for about 2 months. Finally, I asked someone at work what that meant. The daycare has some big play dice, so that makes sense.

At this stage, Lexi is bilingual. I don't know how long it will last. I know many people here whose parents are bilingual and they only speak a little Spanish. Her chances, of course, are less. Ideally, I would like her to be bilingual, but in the end I am hoping that she has an ear for languages and can roll her R's.

Not Forgotten

When I was in Elementary school, a bunch of us used to pretend we were Star Wars Characters. One guy, Rory, was always Luke Skywalker. I guess he was also George Lucas because he always decided who played each character. Sometimes, I played the coveted Princess Leia. Sometimes she was played by my friend, whose hair actually fit the part much better. Rory was a strawberry blonde freckled faced kid that we all sucked up to for the sake of Star Wars. Besides being in my school class, his family attended the same church/ward as my family. He was the oldest with several younger siblings the same ages as my brothers. (Mormons tend to have kids every 2 years. When the oldest match up in age, so do several of the others.)

I knew him fairly well during the first years of Elementary school. We moved to Florida for my last years of elementary and then moved back for Jr. high. We attended the same school, but his family lived in a different part of town. We talked and definitely knew each other, but didn't hang out or anything. For high school, my family moved to Texas. While in college, I heard that his sister disappeared. She went to school one day and didn't come home. The police thought she was a run away, but the family didn't believe it. It was such a sad thing.

Every few years, something reminds me about this story and I start looking on the internet for an update. I can't remember what sparked it over the weekend, but I discovered that new progress has been made on the case. I wish I could say that she was fine and had been enjoying life in California. Unfortunately, they still don't know where her body is, but they do know basically what happened to her.


http://www.charleyproject.org/cases/d/davis_kiplyn.html

http://mylifeofcrime.wordpress.com/tag/kiplyn-davis/