My 15 Year Old Self

This morning a friend on Facebook, that I've known in real life for decades that happens to be a lot younger than me (15+ years younger), posted a picture of herself when she was 15 years old. She wondered if her 15 year old self would approve of her so far. She married pretty young and has 3 sweet little kids. Her oldest is in kindergarten. Her husband has a good job and their house is quite nice. She felt pretty sure that her 15 year old self would be pleased. I smiled at the thought of her doing that and went on with my day.

About an hour ago, a mutual friend who happens to be somewhere in between our ages, followed in her footsteps. However, her life has been quite different. She also married young. In fact, she married her high school sweetheart, who turned out to be abusive to her and their kids. She is now re-married to a wonderful guy, but she is still dealing with the abusive ex's behavior towards the kids. I think it is safe to say that she feels she has been raked over the coals. Her conclusion was that her 15 year old self would be scared to death, but would be proud of her current self.

Because both of them did this little exercise, I wondered about my 15 year old self. It was quite a long time ago for me. I know that I thought I knew a lot more about life than I actually did. I pretty much knew everything. What a fun age! Well, I would NEVER have guessed that I would end up living in Texas, being divorced, being a single mom, having a career where I worked from home on my computer, and basically a million more things in life.

Even though life is a huge messy ball of twine, I am actually happier now than I was then. Mainly, that is because I simply crave independence. I couldn't wait to move out and be on my own. Now that I think about it, being a single mom is about the most independent you can be. I don't have to compromise or ever check with anyone about their opinions.

Many parts of life could be better. I always wanted kids, lots of kids. I feel blessed to have 2 amazing ones. They are a huge part of my happiness. Of course, I dreamed of my own knight-in-shining-armor who I would live happily ever after with. I still do. ..Maybe one day that will come true and I will even happily compromise on many things. My 15 year old self can just continue dreaming.