Contemplating Complete Forgiveness

I have something I have been thinking about posting for several weeks, but I am not sure how much I am ready to reveal or honestly even deal with. One thing I know is that I don’t want to spell it out, but I think it will be completely obvious who this is about. Never-the-less, here it goes…

What happens when there is someone who plays a significant role in your life that over the course of several years gets wrapped up in something that drastically hurts themselves, you and definitely damages your relationship? What happens when this builds to the point where most of the ties must be severed in order to keep your sanity? What if you take time to at least generally forgive the person and are able to talk to them in an honest and kind way? What if after a certain amount of time, they ask for complete forgiveness and would like to TRY to restore that relationship? Not only that, but they are showing remarkable improvement through the help of a therapist and religious studies. What if that person is going out of their way to prove they are an asset in your life without expecting anything in return?

These are the basic questions I have been contemplating for the past few weeks. In general, I believe that I am a very forgiving person that doesn’t hold grudges. I honestly believe that everyone deserves a second chance if they are willing to work for it. Sadly, we are all foolish at times and take things for granted. I wish I could say that I am perfect. Sometimes, we get our best lessons in life by learning the hard way. Those lessons transform us into a much better person.

On the other hand, there is that saying - fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. There is a certain amount of distrust and self protection that exists to help us survive. Where is the balance in all of this? I guess it is just a matter of taking things VERY slowly and seeing if it is possible to build enough trust. Life is so complicated.

Burning Up

It is certainly time to pray for some REAL rain for Texas. We are burning up. I am glad that I live in an area where there isn't an active fire. However, we have fires to the west of us and fires to the north. Sadly, there are choking clouds of smoke everywhere. I am tired of smelling and breathing it.  We even had ashes falling around our house on Monday evening.  The weather has finally gotten a little cooler and now the smoke forces us to stay inside.

On Sunday, my son started announcing to people that a hurricane is coming. I don't know why.  We hadn’t been discussing it or anything. I am simply hoping for a very wet tropical storm, one that lingers for several days and soaks everything.

Divorce Talk

A few weeks ago, I realized that so many of my posts focus on divorce and being single. Not that it is a bad topic, but I decided that I was a bit tired of the whole thing. I wanted to mix it up a little.

However, the bizarre thing about this status is that somehow it inspires people to open up and share their marriage struggles and thoughts of divorce. Plus, meeting other divorcees happens naturally. I end up hearing and talking a lot about the whole divorcee way of life. While it is quite interesting and really opens my eyes up to how fortunate I truly am, I wonder what the deeper meaning in all of this. Life is so complicated with a million different answers and directions as well as insane reasoning behind decisions and feelings.

When it comes to others, mainly I just listen without judging. I believe it is important to look at situations from diverse angles and consider all options. I bring up many different points good and bad without stating my opinion. Ultimately, relationships are so personal that only each individual can figure out what they truly want to do or are ready to do.

Through all these various discussions, I have realized that only the most fortunate people survive a divorce with a relatively small amount of money being paid to lawyers, without hateful feelings, and being able to maintain a friendship not to mention mutual respect. Life is far from easy and divorce is horrible, but I consider myself a rare lucky divorcee.