Tony Awards Opening Number

I rarely watch television. It probably happens two or three times a year for something I think my kids would like to see like the Superbowl. In fact, we went for a few years without any channels, so we really got out of the habit. We have Netflix and watch DVDs, but that is about it.

A few nights ago, I got an email informing me that someone we know composed a medley for the opening number of the Tony Awards. This isn't too surprising because he is a famous composer that works on lots of movies and television shows. My kids are related to the composer, so I made sure that we watched. We were extra pleased to see that James Corden was hosting. His Carpool Karaoke cracks us up.

The opening number was amazing, so I thought I'd share it here:

Christmas Eve 2016

The holidays are starting off quite fun with family this year. My mom & step-dad came to town before Halloween. They are staying in an RV park about 20 minutes away. We have gone up to see my step-sister & her family several times. My sister came today.  She'll be here from Dec 24th until today (Jan 1st). We haven't been around family during the holidays for the last 4 years. It is especially nice to have my mom around to do a lot of the cooking.

This evening (Christmas Eve), we had a special dinner and talent show. Here our Santa place settings:

Then we had a talent show. I read the Night Before the Night Before Christmas, which is shorter than the Night Before Christmas. It is quite funny.

Lexi and Paige were next. They sung a song that Lexi wrote:

Jordan was next with the 12 days of Christmas. This is a song he LOVES to sing, especially when he is taking a bath:

My mom recited a clever poem about a boy that didn't believe in Santa.

My step-father wrapped it up with a song that Lexi & Paige helped a little with:



Finally, we opened our one present on Christmas Eve to find that it is always what we get the night before Christmas - our pjs.

Loved this Summer

This summer was one of the best ones I've had in decades. Fortunately, my workload was small enough that I wasn't at all stressed about deadlines or juggling everything.  We took a month long road trip all the way from Texas to Montana.  I tried to keep most of the driving on weekends and keep my day schedule flexible so that work would come first when needed.  We started with a stop in El Paso.  I got to spend time with a friend that I made while living in Qatar.  I haven't seen her since 1997.  If it wasn't for Facebook, I'm sure we would have lost touch forever.  Instead, our kids became friends.  They really hit it off quickly just like we did years ago.  Here is a picture below.  Don't let the sizes fool you.  My kids are tall and her's are short.  The one on the left is only a little less than a year younger than Jordan.  

  

Next, we headed to southern Utah for a family reunion with my mom's side of the family in Zion National Park.  Zion is an amazing place to hike and see nature.  We also got to see siblings, cousins, second cousins, and the kids even had third cousins there.  We've been having these reunions every two years and they are always a joy.  Here is a picture of my mom's grand-kids with all of the 6 year olds on the front row and 8 year olds in the back.

  

Next, we headed to central Utah.  I have a good friend, Annette, there.  I've known her since 7th grade.  I just love her.  We stayed with her & her family.  We got to enjoy hiking in the area and celebrate the 24th of July.  The 24th is a state holiday in Utah.  It is also called Pioneer Day to celebrate when the pioneers came into Salt Lake.  The state celebrates much like the 4th of July with fireworks, parades, and bbqs.  Here is a picture of Annette and me at the Spanish Fork Parade:

Our next stop was Butte, Montana.  My mom and step-father live there.  My brother, his wife, and 5 kids live in the next little town.  I have another brother that lives about 4 hours away also in Montana.  We got to spend time with all of them.  To be honest, I have mixed feelings about Montana.  I think it is a beautiful place to be in the summer.  I also find it sad how hard the economy has fallen since the mines shut down in the 1980s.  I have never been in a place that has such amazing architecture and infrastructure from 100 years ago contrasted by extremely poor and fairly backwards current residents.  It was quite depressing.  I always felt overdressed, especially in Butte.  I think the people of Walmart originated there, except maybe not as yucky/sexy/trashy more like constant sweat pants wearers.  At least, they are all friendly.  One of the things we loved was touring ghost towns.  It is amazing that people would build up a beautiful town with town halls and then pack up and leave overnight.  

kids with their cousins in a ghost town

with more cousins  

When we were done in Montana, we made our way back to Texas with a few stops in Utah.  We spent a few more nights with Annette before taking off.  We also stopped at Arches National Park one day to hike for an hour.

We only stayed in a hotel one night on the way back.  It was a lot of driving, but I realized that I was tired of being in the car and living out of a suitcase.  Sadly, once we entered Texas we were only a little more than half way home.  This is one HUGE state.  

It wasn't a perfect trip, but it was certainly great.  

Emotionally Invested

This week, I heard that my step-brother and his wife are getting divorced.  To be honest, I felt genuinely sad.  I will not pretend to know any of the details about who is to blame and all that is going on.  In fact, I really don’t know anything.  I have only seen him 3 different times over the last 12 years.  Two of the times, he had his family with him and of course most of my attention went to his kids.  I think he has been married about 17 years and has 4 kids.  The one thing I always think about when it comes to divorce is the unexpected people who suffer with them.  I am guessing that both he and his wife are a little surprised by how emotional people get when they find out. 

When I got divorced, I was certainly shocked by how many people got dismayed by the news.  It was easy for me to tell close friends and family.  I had never really criticized my husband, but once I knew there was no other choice, I started sharing some of my pain.  The decision to get divorced wasn't that alarming to those near me.  The difficult part was sharing the news with casual friends, neighbors, close friends that I haven't seen in a while, and acquaintances.   It isn't easy to introduce this topic in everyday chit chat or contact them specifically to share the bad news.  After I filed the divorce papers and was preparing to move, I realized I just had to start announcing it to others.  Quite a few of them started crying huge heartbreaking tears.  In my tired and numb state, I found myself consoling them.  Even though I was walking around in a daze, I truly felt grateful to be surrounded by such caring people.  I felt loved.          

When I was in junior high, I remember crying almost all night long when I heard that a guy in the grade above me committed suicide.  I knew who he was and who his friends were, but probably nothing else.  I wondered if he would have committed suicide if he knew that his death would hurt so many people that he barely knew existed.  I was sure that if I was crying others were too.  I realized that night that our lives affect more people than we can possibly imagine.    

This evening, my aunt had a wonderful post on Facebook.  She got engaged after being divorced possibly 30 years.  I remember her divorce, but I was a child.  She is a beautiful, intelligent and successful woman.  My heart filled with joy when I read the news and saw the picture. 

Even when it is none of our business, as fellow human beings, we naturally feel emotionally invested in others well-being.  No matter how isolated we feel, we are never truly alone.  The world is full of people who care about each and every one of us.

Twin Week

Last Tuesday (May 7th), my youngest brother sent me a text that the doctor was sending his wife to the hospital.  I called my mom to see if that meant the twins were going to be born.  She told me that his wife had toxemia and would be having an emergency c-section.  The good news was that she had made it to full term with them.  We were all excited to hear how big they were.  The boy, Elijah, was 6 lbs 5 oz and 19.75" long.  The girl, Priscilla, was 5 lbs 9 oz and 19" long.  We were all very excited.

Elijah (left) - Priscilla (right)

Sadly, the next day my mom called to tell me that Elijah had a blocked intestine and had to be life-flighted to a hospital in a bigger town.  The hospital where they were at couldn't get it cleared and realized he might need surgery.  Plus, he was having trouble breathing.  As my mom was asking my brother questions, she learned that the babies were rushed out right after being born and that his wife hadn't even seen Elijah yet.  My brother was going to go with Elijah to the new hospital.  Priscilla and his wife would stay in that hospital.  His mother-in-law would stay with mom & baby girl.  My mom decided that she needed to be up there with him.  She booked a flight and headed out that day.

Things got a little better for Elijah the next day.  The new hospital was able to get the intestine unblocked without surgery.  He was also breathing 99 to 100% on his own.  However, Elijah wasn't very active and was not interested in eating.  Later that day, my brother was able to get him to drink a teaspoon for one of his feedings.  He had to rely on a tube that went through his nose and down into his belly to get the rest.

Two days later (11th), my brother's wife and his daughter were released from their hospital.  A room was set up for them at the Ronald McDonald house.  He drove over to get them (1.5 hours away) while my mom stayed with Elijah.  They were thrilled to be all together.  Even though they had a room across the street, they were all able to stay in the hospital room with Elijah.  The nurses were very nice about helping with Priscilla too.  They weighed her every day and checked up on how much she was eating.        

Sister-in-law & brother with babies  

Yesterday, Elijah was released and they were able to go home.  Now, the real fun begins.

Priscilla

Happy for my Cousin

I have been very grateful this month that others have gone out of their way to help us.  Whenever I catch the news, I am often saddened by the cruel or horrendous acts that people have done.  This month, I want to remember that there are many who are filled with loving hearts.  My cousin posted this clip of her son & family on Facebook:

Veterans' Day 2012

It is coming up on 4 years since I last went to the cemetery that my dad is buried in.  Lexi had early dismissal from school on Friday, so I decided that it would be the perfect time to head up there.  Even the weather was nice - sunny and warm.  I definitely wanted to avoid going there this weekend or even tomorrow.  Since he is in a Veterans' Cemetery, I knew it would be packed.

My kids never met my dad.  Lexi was born almost 2 months after he passed away.  I probably would have enjoyed the peace and quiet of visiting the cemetery by myself, but I think it is vital for kids to understand their connections to family members both alive and deceased.  It is also essential for them to get a glimpse of the numerous graves of soldiers that truly cared about this country.  I am sure the significance of the moment did not sink in fully, but kids (and adults) learn bit by bit.  I hope they are gradually building a realization that they will come to appreciate one day.         

More Cousins for Lexi & Jordan

My brother, Chris, and his wife, Julia, are expecting twins as you can see in the picture above.  They have been married for over a year and have had trouble getting pregnant.  Fortunately, they went to a fertility clinic in Salt Lake and are expecting two.  That makes 11 grand-kids for my mom.  Currently, the youngest grand-child is about 7 months younger than Jordan.  When you have to wait a while (about 5 years) until another one (or 2) comes, it is even more exciting.

Mom's 60th Birthday

My mom's 60th birthday was this month.  I'd like to say that we had a big party to celebrate the event, but I can't.  Most of her kids saw her this summer at the family reunion though.  I wanted all of us to do something extra special, which isn't easy without money.  I knew we'd have to go with sentimental.  The only thing I could come up with was a project I call "Letters to Margie."

I am posting the letter that we sent out to all the contacts we could round up explaining the project:

Basically, we wanted them to write a letter to her.  They could e-mail it to me or send in by regular mail.  I planned to put it in a binder for her to read.  This project is much easier with Facebook.  I  was able to get a letter from an old high school friend and a college friend.  It was also easier because I am living here where many of her close friends from 20 years ago are.  I contacted family too.  Of course, my 3 brothers and sister contributed great letters.  Our kids did art projects and little letters too.  It turned out to be quite a fun project.  Here is the binder cover I made for the project:

I sent it and made her wait for my sister to come over before she could open it.  She loved the gift and of course wept tears of joy.  Here she is looking through the binder with my sister:

This wasn't her only gift though.  Right now, she happens to be on an Eastern European tour with her husband.  They are going to exciting sites like Count Dracula's Castle in Romania.  They keep posting pictures on Facebook and seem to be loving it.  

California Trip & Fam Reunion

Our trip to California and our trip within a trip (family reunion in northern Utah) was pretty great in many ways and a little difficult in a few others.  That is pretty much how life is meant to be I suppose.  The family reunion was amazing, but mainly because I LOVE being around my siblings, cousins, aunts & uncles.  Lexi and Jordan hadn't seen their first cousins (my brothers' kids) in two years.  Plus, they had second and third cousins there.  That alone was worth the trip.  They got to play, run, ride wave runners, get know each other and have a blast.  How often do your kids get to know their second and even third cousins?  Not enough as far as I am concerned.  We even got to stop in Utah and stay at one of my dearest friend's house two times (on the way up & on the way back).  I just love being around her.  My mom even tried to convince me that I should move up there.  I seriously considered it for a few days, but the reality of not liking cold weather, not having enough money to move anywhere, and that the schools really are better in Texas made me rethink this temporary moment of insanity.

Our time in California was nice too, except that it was a difficult month for my mom.  Her work brought in a new head director, who wanted to bring in his own team.  He started cutting the department heads, one of which was my mom.  That brought a level of sadness and relief to her as well as me.  She has been helping me financially, but I know her job was overly stressful.  She also had major surgery scheduled RIGHT after we got back from Utah.  She was in the hospital for a little while and then recovery time.  I am guessing that it is easier to relax and recover without little ones running around, but she has had plenty of practice since she had five kids of her own.  One other thing that happened was that my baby sister moved out of my mom's house.  She got an apartment with our step-sister.  I helped her move, especially since my mom wasn't supposed to be lifting ANYTHING.

We ended up spending quite a bit of time at the San Diego Zoo.  My mom renewed our annual passes.  My sister's boyfriend's band (Steam Powered Giraffe) had a contract to play 4 shows a day for 70 days straight this summer.  If we wanted to see much of her, we had to go there.  We got to see quite a few of their 20 minute concerts.  They are singing musical automatons.  Here is a picture of the kids with my sister and The Rabbit.

Yes, they are quite different, but the steam punk movement is spreading like wildfire and they have catchy songs, several of which my kids are still singing.  Here is one (double click for full screen):

  

Summer Trip

I didn’t have any big plans for this summer.  Given the fact that I am poor, I thought we’d have a summer just like last one.  We would just stay here.  We could call it a staycation since we enjoy our community pools, splash parks and parks.  We live in a community that has AMAZING pools that are open in the summer.  The HOA fees are high enough that I want to get whatever I can.  That was my plan anyway. 

One night about 2 weeks ago, my mom called and asked if she could fly the kids and me out to Cali for the month of July.  I was quite exhausted when she called.  It sounded like a nice offer, but too difficult.  She told me to think about it and we could talk the next day.  

When I woke up, I felt differently.  I realized it wouldn’t be fair to the kids to miss out on the opportunity.  Not only would they be missing the vacation to California, but my family is having a big reunion at Bear Lake, which is on the border of Utah and Idaho.  Many of my siblings, cousins & second cousins will be there.  My mom & step-dad are driving their RV, so we would be able to go with them.  Sadly, we don't even get to see my brothers very often, not to mention cousins.  It has been 2 years since I saw one of my brothers and 2.5 years since I saw the other two.  My kids should spend time with their cousins.  

I decided that the main hurdle was my work.  My boss has recently bought me a new laptop, but I needed him to buy several different kinds of rather expensive software in order for me to use it.  I also needed a new computer case.  The laptop is unusually large, so finding a case isn’t easy.  Anyway, I decided to ask if they had any objection to the trip and listed my concerns.  They thought I should go and got busy buying everything. 

The tickets are booked and now I am figuring out how to complete my to do list along with getting ahead of 2 big work deadlines, entertaining kids this week, and everything else I normally do.  Lately, I’ve been working on not beating myself up for dropping some of the balls I am trying to juggle.  In some ways, this trip adds stress and in others it greatly relieves stress.  It’s all good.  

Thanksgiving Post 2011

This evening, I suddenly felt like I wanted to make a list of things I am thankful for.  It is a little long and I don't care if anyone else reads it.  It was simply a great reminder for me. 


I, Freckle Face Girl, remember:

1. I am thankful for my kids and the opportunity to be their mom. A while ago, I was in a class where the teacher asked us to think about what we were born to do. I realized that I was born to be a mom. That doesn’t mean that I am perfect (far from it), but I am passionate about it and I truly feel it is one of the aspects that helps to define me.


2. I am thankful for my job. I started working for this company almost 10 years ago. Life certainly has changed since then, but they continue to give me a pay check as well as moral support.


3. I am thankful that I work from home. At times it is tougher than working in an office, but it also allows me to live closer to the type of lifestyle I think is best for me and my kids. I realize that not many people are this lucky.


4. I am thankful that my kids go to fantastic schools and have great teachers. Most importantly, they are happy.


5. I am thrilled to be raising my kids in an area where their influences are mostly positive. I am amazed that elementary aged kids here only know “bad” words to be things like stupid, duh, and shut-up.


6. I am thankful that my mom has been such a great support my whole life, and especially over the last few years. Beyond her moral support, she continues to pay my health insurance and do whatever she can for me and the kids.


7. I am thankful for my family and glad that drama is not part of the dynamics. It isn’t because we are not bursting with personality. We just believe everyone is crazy, so we don’t get offended easily/at all.


8. I am thankful for the many wonderful friends I have made in my life and the ability to stay connected to them.  I am also glad for friends that treat us like family and invite us to spend holidays (Thanksgiving) with them.


9. I am thankful that I attend a church with great people who are kind, compassionate, fun, smart, and continually working to improve themselves.


10. I am thankful for the many wonderful ways that my impossible prayers have been answered. One or two were even mind-blowing.


11. I am thankful for the opportunities to help others. It is amazing how those simple acts inspire someone to pay it forward or come back and return the favor years later (see #10).


12. I am thankful that this year is coming to an end. Before this year even started, I had a premonition (link to post) it was going to be tough and it truly has been. Now, I am just hoping something will brighten up next year. – So far, I have received no premonitions either way…


13. Maybe it is cheesy to end it like this, but…. I am thankful to be single so that I don’t have to share the master suite. I just LOVE having my own walk-in-closet and bathroom.

Goodbye to my Aunt

My dad died of brain cancer almost exactly six years ago.  Today, his younger sister lost her battle with breast cancer.  He was 56.  She was 54.  The worst part is that my grandparents have now lost 3 of their 5 children.  His older brother died last January.  It doesn't matter how old you are or how old your children are, losing them is a nightmare.

Easter Dress

Even though I love holidays, Easter Sunday wasn't that thrilling for me this year.  I have a huge proposal due today and it needed lots of attention this weekend.  Of course, we did the whole bunny thing.  The kids woke up and found their baskets.  Then we got ready for church.  After church, they went to a party/picnic with my mom, step-father & sister, while I worked.  The highlight for me that day was wearing my new Easter dress which I got courtesy of Tropic of Me and Family.  Winning something is SO exciting!  Thanks Holly!!!

Emerging as Myself

This week, I read an article in a magazine about Botox that inspired a whole train of thought and an extremely strange analogy. Yes, I am weird. I am not in any way an expert of Botox. In fact, I have never even seriously thought about getting it and I only know a few people who have had it. Mainly, I just like reading studies about almost anything. This particular one said that although Botox only works for a few months, many patients who do it a few times in four months happen to see results up to 20 months. Their conclusion was that paralyzing the muscle actually gives the skin time to repair itself.

Now, for the strange analogy – for the past few weeks I have been thinking about how I am feeling more alive than I have in a long time. About a year ago, I posted about losing myself here: Lost My Spit Fire

I know that besides going through divorce, coming to California to live with my mom has been difficult for me, personally. No, not in any of the ways one might easily guess. My mom works full time and is laid back. She doesn’t meddle at all or even try to pry into my life much, just in a caring helpful way. My problem is that I am a fiercely independent person. I prefer to take care of myself, handle everything by myself, and I never ask for help. I am the one that helps others. I was even the main breadwinner for most of my marriage. Deciding to move here was not easy for me. However, I knew it was the best decision for me because I could continue working part-time and still be able to take care of my kids full-time. That felt significantly important to me. (I am not saying that it would be the best choice for anyone else or even for me at a different point in my life.)

Many changes have occurred since then. Recently, I have realized that it is time for the next phase of life. Preparing to go back to being completely self-sufficient is giving me a breath of fresh air. Although money will be extremely tight for a while, I am thrilled to know that I will be back on my own. As I look back on these past almost 2 years, I now realize that being here was enormously beneficial for me. Yes, I felt a bit paralyzed like I wasn’t moving forward or really doing anything with my life other than being the kind of mom that I wanted to be. Yet, just like Botox, being paralyzed allowed me to heal. I am genuinely at peace, more confident, appreciative of my current situation, and even, dare I say, incredibly cheerful.

Brother's Wedding

This weekend, my youngest brother is getting married. Sadly, the kids and I will not be attending. They live in the middle of nowhere Montana, which means that buying three plane tickets to their miniature airport would be very expensive. A long road trip isn't in the cards either. I just have too much work to take that much time off. This is always my busiest time of year. Plus, we'll be driving half way across the US soon enough when we head back to Texas in two months.

Having said all that, I really do wish I could be there. Family events are always a wonderfully hectic time and I am mainly sad that my kids will miss out on the fun. We are still making efforts to be part of the wedding and get into the spirit of it all.  Last week, Lexi decided that we should draw pictures of them getting married. Her masterpiece is above. As for my art work, I chose to dig deep and really get to the heart of their characters. I call it “Normal Girl marries the Mad Hatter.” - (remember that big sister = master taunter)

To be fair, I am posting a real picture of them.  I wish them the best.  The kids are excited to get another aunt!

By the way, none of my family members read my blog.  They are vaguely aware it exists, but they just aren't blogging people. 

Valentines Cookies

A couple of weeks ago, my mom, sister and I saw a demonstration about cookie decorating.  The fun would have ended there if my sister and I were left up to it.  However, my mother was inspired.  She decided to make the sugar cookies a few days ago.  Today, she made the icing and got the two of us to help her decorate.  It was actually a lot easier than any of us imagined.  Of course, I just had to make one or two specifically for my favorite little Valentines - Lexi and Jordan. 

Birthday Celebration

We celebrated my birthday with my mom and sister at the Cheesecake Factory. I love that place.  I always make sure that we get there before 5pm. That way we get the lunch portion, which is still HUGE.