Ten Years Later

Why is it always the big anniversaries that make us reflect on life and what we've learned since then?  Ten years ago (Friday the 17th), I got married.  Of course, "we got married" sounds better, but after being divorced for almost 4 years, it is definitely "I" in quite a few ways.

At church this month, I have been invited to attend a special marriage class during Sunday school.  They are doing month long courses and filing us through alphabetically.  By invited, I mean not only is it my turn alphabetically, but they printed out a special invitation specifically for me and got substitutes to teach the 9 year old class that I am in charge of.  It seems a little awkward for me, as a divorced woman, to attend marriage class.  Mormons believe that families, specifically marriages, are the highest priority in life.  That is probably why they have a rather low divorce rate.  Last time I saw a statistic is was 20%.  There are 500 people in our ward (a.k.a. congregation).  I believe that there are only 3 women that are divorced.  One man is in the process of getting divorced.  There is also one lady that is in her 30s that has never been married.  We're definitely a minority.

I like to approach things with an open mind.  A couple was asked to teach these classes.  I know them and quite like them.  Each week, they cover a different topic.  The first one was communication.  The second was forgiveness.  Today, it was intimacy.  Next week is financial security/budgeting.  I have been attending the class and could easily feel like the odd man out.  Most couples are sitting together holding hands. There are always one or two women whose husband isn't in class for one reason or another.  I sit off to the side and they join me.  I don't really contribute to the class.  I just listen.

I have read a lot of self-help books on divorce as well as marriage.  All they do is confirm what I know in my heart, that I was an amazing wife.  Sure I annoyed him at times, but I did A LOT of things right and was more forgiving than I probably should have been.  He'll tell you that too.

Life has really changed over the last 10 years, but I truly feel like I am where I need to be and doing what I need to do.  Friends often ask me if I want to get remarried.  Even though I am not dating, the answer is definitely YES.  Who doesn't want to believe in that dream?  I see lots of couples making it work and so I know it can.  Cheers to a better future!  Maybe I'll even go on a date this year.  It would be nice to think a guy found me at least slightly attractive.