Prior to setting a goal to try online dating, I remembered how much I hated dating when I was single. I figured that I should give it a try though because I don't have any friends here in California and I still want to believe that I can find someone special to share my life with.
Well, I have gone on three dates and now vivid memories of exactly WHY I hate dating have been rushing in. All three guys were nice, decent looking, able to converse well, and very into me. The problem is that I just wasn't interested in being more than friends. Maybe that means that I am not ready to date, but more realistically I have never fallen quickly for anyone. Back to the problem - I had to tell them that I wasn't interested. I HATE doing that.
I consider myself a nice person. It is horrible to have to tell another nice person that you aren't as interested in them as they are in you. I always do my best to let them know right away in the nicest way possible. Being too nice about it though, often just encourages them to try harder. I need a great way to tell them that it just isn't going to happen without hurting them.
I have told them I just want to be friends, which was true. I just need a guy friend. That way I would have a friend, but not have to deal with all this. Oh and I don't mean a friend with benefits. I just want a guy to talk to and hang out with once in a while. Is that too much to ask? Probably...guys have a one track mind, right?
4 comments:
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Hey FFG - Good for you for telling them you're not interested (seriously). There's nothing worse than hoping for something with someone else and not being sure where they stand. Better people are open and honest (not playing games) to my mind.
And - yes, I am certain there are guys like that out there (who want to be friends or take things slow). They may just be hard to find.
Just want a guy friend to hang out with and talk to? Are you serious? Do you understand anything about men? Apparently not, given the one track mind comment. You only care about jewelry, purses, and shopping correct? What could you possibly offer a man in terms of an exclusively platonic relationship?
Children need their fathers in their lives. Especially male children. This entire argument re nine months of pregnancy, bonding, etc? What a bunch of crap. Do you know why children, if asked if they would prefer their moms to their fathers, would choose the mom? It's because the fathers are the ones that enforce the rules and the discipline. The moms happily leave all that heavy lifting to the dads so they can be the refuge and provide the succor.
Guh.
Anonymous #2:
Thank you for your comments. I actually find differing opinions refresing. I found it interesting that assume that I am only into shopping, jewelry, and purses. I like sports, hiking, camping, and lots of guy stuff. I happen to have lots of guy friends (including my ex), just not here in California. :)
As for the fathering comments, I realize that I failed to make it clear in that post that I was mainly talking about situations where the kids end up with one or the other parent. My cousin and her husband had to move to different states after their divorce so basically the kids will be spending most of their time with only one parent. Of course, co-parenting is the ideal situation for everyone involved when it can happen.
When I was a kid, even though my parents were married, my mom did everything for us including discipline. It turned out to be the same when I was married. I don't expect anyone else to discipline my kids and so I can proudly say that people often comment about how well behaved they are.
I have seen lots of moms go way out of their way to put their kids first in life. I haven't seen many dads do it, but there are some. I strongly believe that those moms who do an amazing job with their kids should get primary custody, even if they have a great dad. This wasn't about cutting dads or men out of their lives. It was about primary care.
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