Change of Heart

Last November after a particularly rough week or so, my kids asked me if we could go to church. I had grown weary of searching for inexpensive ways to entertain them. This actually sounded like a good idea. The LDS church is an entire three hours on Sunday. The first hour, the whole congregation meets together. After that, they split up into classes and there is a huge program just for kids. Not only would my little ones be entertained, but I would get about 2 hours of a break, which I desperately needed.

Now, I know that is not the most honorable motivation for attending church, but as I have learned with the gym… it is not so much what gets you to go, but the actually going that is the good part. Should I even be admitting that? Probably not, but I am.

A funny thing happened that day; I realized that it wasn’t so bad. It isn’t that I ever hated going to church. However, when you are not going it is easy to think of all the reasons that you don’t want to go or don’t even like it. In fact, I enjoyed the serenity that the little break gave me.

I decided that we would attend throughout December too. There were two motivations for that – a healthy break from the kids and my love of Christmas songs/hymns. In that month, I quite enjoyed my experiences there from simple things like adult conversations, hearing about others overcoming their various struggles (simple and complex), seeing truly happy families/couples, as well as religious doctrine. I have always enjoyed studying religions.

This experience carried over into January, but instead of going mostly for the break, I was actually enjoying it. I still had some of my reservations though. One day, the class conversation sparked several personal and happy memories. My heart was immediately softened and I began to listen with more of an open mind. While, I realize that I do not understand some of the trivial things that had bothered me before, I do know following my true heart usually leads me in the right direction. Besides, no matter what, when someone is working on improving their spirituality and inner peace good things happen. I am certainly better off today than I have been in a while. I also have a better understanding of many aspects of my life.