Queen of the City of Stubbornville

My mom was always the tough love kind of mom. Her mothering style focused on teaching independence. From an early age, I had chores that most mothers don't even consider handing out until the pre-teen years. For example, at the age of three, I had a long fight with her about the unfairness of having to re-hang my clothes after my one year old brother pulled them down. What's that you say??? - A three year old hanging clothes? Yep! That was about the same age that I was given the responsibility of making my own lunch. I did fine, but you should have seen some of the crazy condiment creations my brothers made for themselves.

While growing up, I thought that people had kids so they wouldn't have to do so much house work. As I have gotten older, I have come to realize that her method was probably a lot harder than just doing everything by herself at least when we were little. It takes a great amount of stubbornness on her part to raise her oldest three the way she did. That is probably why she was not the same with the youngest 2 kids; we wore her out.

I have a strong feeling that if I would have popped out kids in my early 20s, I would have been a lot like she was with us. Back then, I had the fiery stubbornness that is required. However, my personality has changed with age. My brothers always comment that they want to know what happened to the strong willed sister they knew. I guess life has taught me that there are many different ways to approach life and I have learned to let many things go.

I still think independence is important for kids, but it is not the main focus of my mothering. Actually, I am much more laid back and probably more affectionate (the goofy mushy kind) than I would have been. My mothering skills are closer to what my mom was with her youngest, Paige, although I am not quite that laid back.

Despite that, I have been lucky enough to get a daughter who is chalk full of fiery stubbornness. With a little guidance, she'll be just as independent as I was. I guess my point is that in my family the Queen of Stubbornness seems to relinquish the crown around the age of 30. It always gets passed to the oldest daughter and isn't something that has to be taught.

Tags: stubborn, independent