Yesterday, at lunch, I realized it has been exactly 3 years since the divorce. Of course, I made a celebratory announcement to my family. In many ways, it seems like it happened long ago and this is the natural path of my life. I have admitted many times that financial aspects have been and still are extremely difficult. At this point, that has more to do with sticking with the same job and working from home, which is a topic on its own. Honestly, I don't mind being a divorcee, single mom, or whatever titles/roles that have evolved.
About a month ago, I was talking to another divorcee/single mom in my neighborhood. She is coming up on her one year divorce anniversary. We talked about how getting divorced throws your whole life, goals, future plans, dreams and ideas into a tailspin. Most girls grow up with an image of how their adult lives will be. Perhaps they want to go to college, get married, have a career, have 2 - 4 kids, live in a single family home, drive a certain vehicle, be a stay-at-home-mom, join the PTA, and/or just about anything. One thing they don't want to think about is divorce. When that happens, it is like a bomb goes off for your dreams. At least that is what happened to both of us. I was thrilled to be coming out of the whole thing with my two kids, but everything else lost its appeal. There was no interest in hobbies, goal making, or career moves. I functioned and kept going on just fine and often felt happiness. However, now that I think about it, it sounds like underlying depression.
My friend asked me when this stage ended. I wanted to tell her that it went away quickly. I am not sure that it is completely gone. I am interested in many things and hobbies. I look forward to the future. I just wish I had a little glimpse into it to know if some of these hardships are now just a part of my life or if I can move past these and on to bigger/better things. Only time will tell.
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