Inspired by a Comment

This morning, I got a comment from an Anonymous Source.  It was back on a post from January (It's Not You, It's Me), but it sounds like the comment was about several posts.  I typed my response and realized I should probably make it a post too.

Anonymous said...


Just want a guy friend to hang out with and talk to? Are you serious? Do you understand anything about men? Apparently not, given the one track mind comment. You only care about jewelry, purses, and shopping correct? What could you possibly offer a man in terms of an exclusively platonic relationship?

Children need their fathers in their lives. Especially male children. This entire argument re nine months of pregnancy, bonding, etc? What a bunch of crap. Do you know why children, if asked if they would prefer their moms to their fathers, would choose the mom? It's because the fathers are the ones that enforce the rules and the discipline. The moms happily leave all that heavy lifting to the dads so they can be the refuge and provide the succor.

Guh.


My Reply:

Thank you for your comments. I actually find differing opinions refreshing. I found it interesting that assume that I am only into shopping, jewelry, and purses. I like sports, hiking, camping, and lots of guy stuff. I happen to have lots of guy friends (including my ex), just not here in California.  I guess they would have to come up with things I have to offer in a platonic relationship. 

As for the fathering comments (which I am guessing were inspired by a post titled Fighting for Moms), I realize that I failed to make it clear in that post that I was mainly upset about situations when custody is given exclusively to the father when their mother was the main one that had been taking care of them.  This happened to my cousin because California believes it should be 50/50.  Also, stay-at-home moms who can't afford an attorney have a HUGE disadvantage.  Her and her ex-husband were moving to different states so custody was going to be with one or the other.  The one with all the money despite STRONG evidence of abuse won in the end.  Yes - I am still very angry about it.   

Further, I have seen lots of moms go way out of their way to put their kids first in life. However, I haven't seen many dads make their kids their TOP priority, but there are some. I strongly believe that those moms who do an amazing job with their kids should get primary custody, even if the kids have a great dad. This wasn't about cutting dads or men out of their lives. It was about who is going to be the primary caregiver for kids that have to suffer through divorce. Obviously, I am pro-mom (of course excluding those who don't want it or have issues).

I don't agree with your comments on discipline, at least not in every family.  When I was a kid, even though my parents were married, my mom did everything for us including discipline.  My father was heavy handed when he did enforce rules.  I don't expect anyone else to discipline my kids.  I am happy to say that people often comment about how well behaved they are, so I know that I am doing something right - all by myself.