Thoughts of Another

This weekend, Steve admitted that he works late sometimes because he finds life with kids can be stressful. He loves it, but it can be overwhelming for him. I just stayed quiet and listened mainly because I have no response. Should I point out that I deal with most of it? No, it doesn't change his feelings. Besides, we have very different views when it comes to family and kids.

The entire time I was pregnant with Lexi, it was easy to think I could do it again. I have always wanted at least three kids. My thoughts were not so pleasant when I was pregnant with Jordan. In fact, I spent the whole pregnancy thinking I NEVER wanted to do this again. However, shortly after he was born, I really wanted another one. He has been such a wonderful baby, except for the frantic hunger pains at night.

Steve, on the other hand, feels differently. He was very happy to have one and was pleased to have another one, but for him three is too many. Throughout the last year, he half joked about getting a vasectomy. Actually, I am sure he was seriously considering it, but I asked him not to. I told him that I haven’t made my mind up about a third, but I wanted to leave the option open. In reality, I wasn’t too worried considering the fact that he never finds time to go to the doctor for even normal things.

I guess it shouldn’t be surprising that we have such different opinions of kids when you look at our families. I am the oldest of five and he is the youngest of two. I have twelve first cousins on my dad’s side and ten on my mom’s. Steve has three on his dad’s side and none on his mom’s. Holiday gatherings with my family are full of noise and millions of things going on at the same time. With his immediate family, we mostly sat around talking or all did a relatively quiet activity (before the kids came).

For me, kids are everything. The joy of nurturing and watching a person grow is one of the best things in life. I realize that I am lucky to have two kids, but three would be better. It is not only for me, but for them. We will not always be around for them, but they will have each other. The more siblings they have the more support they can give each other. I know that the idea of large families is engrained in Mormons and it is something that I have a hard time giving up on. Of course, I don't want a whole bus load of kids, but three seems reasonable.

We have seven months before we would even start trying for a third, so why am I thinking about it now? Mainly - because we're packing and moving so it would be a great time to unload maternity clothes and baby stuff. Partly - because my sister-in-law is pregnant and could use the stuff. Partly - because I’m not young so a quick decision would be best. In reality, I am not ready to let go of the idea of three kids yet so the stuff goes with us.