One year ago today, I got a call from my sister letting me know that my father had just passed away from terminal brain cancer at the age of 56. As I thought about things I could write today, I considered describing him. Unfortunately, that isn't an easy task in a post considering the fact that he was a complex individual. Sure I could say he was borderline fanatic about religion, he had a genius IQ and fantastic memory, he had no mechanical skills, he had a horrible temper that later mellowed, he had an extremely dry sense of humor, he loved to run and play basketball, he always ate like he had been starving for years, he was too thin, and I could go on and on, but does that really paint a picture of who he was? No.
I also thought about ways that death has probably changed him. I would like to believe that death enables individuals to have an open mind beyond what they are capable of in life. Perhaps, he has been able to chill out a bit. I hope he is no longer overly obsessed with his kind of self improvement and constant internal evaluations. I also want to believe that he finally understands our relationship in a way he never could. I had worked through my issues with him several years ago. While I will never experience those warm fuzzy daddy feelings, I know that I understand him in a way that nobody else does.
Tags: death of a parent
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