Freckle Face Girl

Friday, May 29, 2009

Lie To Me

This evening, I stepped on the scale and couldn't help but smile when I saw that it said 115 lbs. I have never been in love with an inanimate object like I am tonight (even though I know it isn’t true). I am 5’6” and not at all freaky skinny. I don’t think I have been that weight since I was a young teenager.

In fact, I have been eating HORRIBLE things lately. Last Wednesday, when Steve left, I was suddenly overwhelmed by sadness. He had just signed the first set of papers and it was a big step towards the end of our marriage. For some strange reason, I felt an overpowering desire for sweets and all things chocolate. We didn’t have any in the house, so I took the kids to the grocery store.

Part of me felt guilty, but I also realized that it isn’t a normal reaction for me. I am usually upbeat. I also don’t usually dive into comfort food as a way to make myself feel better, because I know it doesn’t work. Unfortunately, I have been drowning in work and other things and have allowed this horrible pick-me-up tactic to continue. It is much easier to grab snacks and get to work then it is to take a half hour to an hour to exercise and get that high from good things.

So, tonight, I was expecting the scale to give me bad news. Is wanting to believe an unrealistic little lie such a bad thing? Right now, I think not. Tomorrow though, I'll be back to exercising for better highs.

Labels: divorce, me

Freckle Face Girl @ 9:55 PM

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my name

Freckle Face Girl

e-mail address

frecklefacegirl01@hotmail.com

location

San Diego, CA

about me

This blog is a place for me to express some ideas and occassionally share things about my life. I am a single (divorced) mom with two small children. I am in my upper 30s and I work from home. Right now, I live in California, but that changes every year or two.

Nobody can define who they are in a simple about me section... I tell tid-bits here & there & you figure out who you think I am.

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