I also have other friends that I made during that time period that I am not really close with (mostly old church friends), but that I am thrilled to run into around town. It is fun to catch up and even share an occasional activity. Both types of these long term friends hold a special place in my heart and I feel like I am good at being their friend.
On the other hand, we've lived here (this time) for the past 3 1/2 years and I've made quite a few new friends. I think they are wonderful and I like them a lot, but I just don't feel like I am able to be a good friend to them. At first, I wondered if it is because I feel so deeply for my old friends that it is strange to like the new ones. It actually took a while for me to realize that some of the new people I spend time with are actually "friends." Now that I see that, I understand that relationships just take work.
Sadly, I am stretched too thin as it is. In order to develop a friendship, it takes time and effort. The new friends want to talk more and hang out several times a week. I feel like I am being a little rude because I am just too busy. Whenever we talk on a deeper level, it turns into a whole long conversation explaining the back story. I don't mind sharing or listening, but it really isn't as easy as it is with my old friends. Many of them are fairly new to this area and they are wanting to find people to do things with. That is also difficult for me because I don't have money for extra things like going to lunch. I also work full time and many of them are stay-at-home moms.
I feel very fortunate to have so many wonderful people in my life. I just hope that I am not failing them or making them feel like I don't care.