Last Names

When I got married, I knew that I wanted to take on his last name. Mostly, it was because I wanted us to have kids. There is a streak of feminism running through me, but I am not whole heartedly attached to my own name. I did keep my maiden name for work though and used it for my middle name since I wasn't given one by my parents.

When I got divorced, it felt right to keep my married name because I share it with the kids. It seems easier than explaining why our last names are different. I didn't really think about it again until I read letter sent to an advice column. It was from a divorced woman who kept her married name for her child. Her ex-husband was getting re-married and his fiancé hated that she kept the name. This gave me something to think about, even though I personally feel the new fiancé should only request and not demand something of an ex-wife. It sounds like she’ll want the kid out of their lives next. However, I agree that it is odd to share the bond of a last name.

Anyway, the advice in the column was to take on her former maiden name.  It said that if she wanted to share a name with her son, she should have him hyphenate his name. I am not sure I agree with that. What a pain for the kid! I don’t really know what the answer to this problem is, but it is interesting to think about. What do most divorced women do?

Halloween JibJab

Personalize funny videos and birthday eCards at JibJab!

What could be better on a rainy day than playing around with JibJab and laughing with the kids?  We even cast my brothers in the Monster Rap. 

Halloweenie Time

Remember back when I used to have a new design for every holiday?  Well, I still LOVE holidays, but I'm in a horrible funk when it comes to my blog.  Whenever I sit down, I seem to forget the topics I've come up with.  So... for now, I'll say that we're doing well.  We're out doing lots of fun things.  We have our Halloween costumes and are excited to wear them.  I am still trying to balance working at home and entertaining kids.  I am still NOT dating, but I'm trying to remember why people think it is fun to date.  More and more, I am realizing that being a single mom has quite a few advantages.  There really isn't anything new to report, but soon I'll try to get to one of the topics swirling around in my head.

Waiting Game

Ellen has a great stand-up show where she talks about how crazy life can be and that we should embrace procrastination. The idea can make some mom’s cringe and feel like they aren’t doing their best, but in many instances it is a great strategy. Lately, I have accomplished a few things that I had put off doing and found that the procrastination turned out to be the ideal approach.

First (and probably the best one) is all about potty training Jordan. Lexi wasn’t a tough child to potty train, but there were some upheavals and changes in our lives during that time that caused setbacks (a return to accidents). Since everyone claims that potty training boys is so much harder, I was not looking forward to the process with Jordan. I decided that I was going to wait until he was three. A few friends that did that said it was easy. I started Lexi right at two.

The first time Jordan went in the potty was at Christmas (a little after he turned 2). I have been able to get him to go right before his baths for months. He has been showing more and more of the signs that he is ready. Finally, a month ago it became too obvious that he was more than ready even though he will not be three for two more months. I put a pair of big boys on him and haven’t looked back. He only had three accidents (half accidents since he stopped himself) and two of them were outside. I believe this easy success has to do with his personality, his knowing exactly what to do from watching Lexi, and from me waiting until he showed ALL the signs of being ready.

Second, I started teaching Lexi to read last summer. She was doing fairly well, but it was taking a lot of patience on my part. Several of my friends had described the need for this kind of patience when teaching a child to read. Unfortunately, too much was going on last year for me to muster it. I just put the lessons away. I decided to start again a few weeks ago and have been completely pleased with her progress. It is so easy for her and me now. She is jumping way ahead of me and loving every minute of her lessons. If I decide to teach Jordan to read in the future (rather than relying on pre-school or school), I will definitely wait until he is four and a half. I know that is what made the difference.

Third, Jordan has been sleeping in a crib until today. Should I admit that online? I have felt guilty for not transferring him to a toddler bed the minute he turned two, but I just never made it a priority. I have a few excuses like the fact that he started climbing out of his crib very early. He has had absolutely no problem getting in or out. Also, my mom and step-dad both said they slept in a crib until kindergarten.

When Jordan was a baby, I had planned to buy a toddler bed exactly like Lexi’s for him. I love that her bed and the crib match perfectly. When I went looking for the same little bed for him, I couldn’t find it. I started dragging my feet and hating the options. Last week while watching House Hunters, I saw a nursery where they had converted the crib to a toddler daybed. Suddenly, I remembered that his crib did that. In this case, waiting was the key to getting a better solution. Today, Lexi has a toddler daybed and Jordan has a toddler bed. The kids get cute little matching beds and I didn’t have to pay any money.

So, as Ellen said, “Procrastination is not the problem. It is the solution!”

High School Homecoming

I didn't end up going to the homecoming assembly.  Mostly, I put off making the decision until it was the week of the reunion, which meant I hadn't made any plans to go.  It came down the a combination of a little too much work to do that day, not wanting the road trip for a one day event, and saving money.  From FB comments, it seems like it was a huge hit.  They even posted a video that they played during the assembly:



Now, I realize that perhaps that time is better forgotten...  Just kidding!   

Ebay Addiction

About once or twice a year, I get addicted to ebay. Not just any section of ebay, the one where people sell amazing home sewn outfits for little girls. I bid on way too much stuff, but I am really cheap so I do not win very often. I got lucky this week and got this really cute dress for $10. Last night, I made matching bows for it.  I have won a few more items too.   Yes, it is my idea of fun...

HS 20 Years Later

My high school class (at one of the high schools I went to) is in charge of putting on the homecoming assembly next month. It is two states away, in Utah, so I am trying to decide if it is worth the trip. It isn't the 20 year reunion. That is next summer.

I went to school with some of these people from kindergarten to third grade. We moved to Florida for a few years and then came back for Junior high and a little of high school before moving to Texas. I also went there for a few months of my senior year and ended up getting my diploma there. I knew most of the people in my graduating class. I really didn't keep in touch with any of them though, but thanks to facebook I have been able to catch up with a lot of them.

Reasons for wanting to go:

1. Simple curiosity and nostalgia can be intersting.

2. I had fun on my last trip to Utah in February.

3. I want to take the kids hiking in Utah.

4. We only live once & traveling makes everything so much more interesting.

5. I am pretty sure next summer will be crazy, so I will probably miss the reunion.

Reasons for skipping it:

1. It will cost at least $450 to travel up and back. I should use the money to get a new windshield since mine is cracked.

2. I hate to explain to everyone (who hasn't noticed on FB) that I am divorced and living with my mom

3. I will have to arrange for someone to take care of the kids while I am at the assembly. However, I am sure my friends can help me find a nice stay-at-home mom that could use the money.

4. I am wondering if I stay with the same friend that I did last time how much her son is going to hate giving up his room for us to stay in. Perhaps, he'll worry that I'll be there for six weeks again, which I will not.

5. Most of my close friends that I talk to were in the grade ahead of mine. I wonder if I’ll feel awkward without a click.

If I lived close by, I would go. I guess I still haven’t decided yet. Anyone have suggestions?

Airbrushing

For some strange reason, I haven't felt like posting personal or meaningful things going on in my life.  Possibly because there isn't much to share. 

However, I have been fascinated by the crazy drive for perfection and beauty that many Southern Californians seems to have.  Lately, that interest has made me a little more fascinated with airbrushing.  I don't really have anything negative to say about it.  As long as everyone understands that the ideals don't really exist even in women that are considered amazingly beautiful by many, I don't think it is harmful.  These are interesting: 

Famous Look-A-Like

Today, a woman at the gym came up to me to tell me that I remind her of Fergie. I’ve heard that before but this time I froze and thought about her bad publicity lately. She told me that she is a huge fan and that it was a compliment. So, I smiled politely and said thank you.

When it comes to looks, I kind of wish she meant the singer and not the Duchess, but the lady was probably too old to be referring to the younger one.  In reality, I would NOT know what to do if I was this hot:

Divorcee for a Year

Today is the one year anniversary of my divorce.  Mostly, I am happy but I feel a little sad today.  I guess remembering how hard it is to finally give up on something that you believed in and invested years in brings me down a little.  So... I am sharing the latest music video that makes me smile.  It is Jason Mraz's song "I'm Yours."