Friday & Some Thoughts about Big Love

As I've written before, Big Love is by far my favorite thing on television. Thanks to Emily mentioning HBO On-Demand, I have now watched all of the episodes. I have never really gone into detail about some of the reasons why I like the show and now I don't have to. Blurbomat has done it for me. The only thing that I would have added was that I think Heather (Tina Majorino) must either be from that region or spent a lot of time there while filming Napoleon Dynamite because she does an amazing job of representing what is commonly called a Molly Mormon. All you non-Mormons had no idea that these strange characters are based on real representations of people in the region. Ok - so both Napolean Dynamite and Big Love focus on the some of the most bizarre people there, but they do exist. I recommend you take a trip to Utah to experience a different way of life, not to mention the beautiful region.

So, other than that - all I have to say today is HAPPY FRIDAY! Oh & have a great weekend.

Losing Nanny McPaige

My mom has lured our sweet Nanny McPaige away from us with promises of a car and exciting life in San Diego. How can we compete with that? Sure staying home with Lexi all day is uber-thrilling, but at 18 (almost 19) girls just want to have fun. Can't she see the fun in keeping my house tidy, watching tv, playing on the internet & taking walks day after day after day? It is hard to imagine that a glamorous life in California with a mom, who is tired of her empty nest and ready to spoil her little baby, can be better than slaving away at our house in Miami.

At any rate, my task for this month is finding a good daycare. Of course, I have a list of things I am looking for. On top of the list is a place that loves kids, is safe, fun, and clean. I am also hoping that it is near my work, doesn't cost an arm & a leg, and allows me to show up during my lunch break most days. Tall order, right? I am on the hunt.

Seriously Sleepy

I can't remember when the last time I had a good night's sleep, but I am guessing it would have been back in October. Overall, that was a good time, at least that is how it seems now. During that time, I was in the mid stages of pregnancy and wasn't too uncomfortable. My father wasn't quite at the end of his rope (near though). Most of all, I didn't have an insanely active baby. Seems like nothing special, but memories of sleep are practically fantasies.

Sometimes life has to push me up against a wall and beat me down before I realize a change is in order. I can be stubborn. The time has come (should have been a while ago) for me to transition Lexi from the pack-n-play in our room to her crib in her room. I let it go on for far too long for many reasons. I guess I could break it down into these excuses:

1. She stirs a lot in the night & sticking a pacifier in her mouth usually calms her & it is easier to roll over than get up & walk into the other room
2. I felt guilty about going back to work & not spending as much time with her
3. I like the thought of her being near

On the other hand, having her in the room means that I wake up every time she moves, which is a LOT. The combination of emotional stress and sleeplessness over the past few weeks has been more than I can handle. This morning, at 3:30 am, Lexi woke up starving. I fed her and tried to get her to go back to sleep, but she was a champion sleep fighter. Finally, I put her into her crib and climbed into my bed. I was able to sleep while she acted like a wild child (no crying or moaning just rolling around). It took a lot, but I have finally learned my lesson.

Messy Baby Club

When life bogs you down, you just have to realize that relishing silly moments is the key to happiness. Last night, Lexi got to try carrots. You can't tell from the picture, but she slurped them down. The mess was caused by her rubbing the bib on her sore gums in between spoonfuls. When she got done with the carrots, it was on to rice cereal. That caused the crusty flakes on her face (not boogers). It was all so funny, that we couldn't help but laugh. She got a real kick out of our laughter because if there is one thing that defines her personality it is the desire to be the center of attention. She is a real ham - just like her dad.

Re-Thinking Organized Religion

Six months ago when my father died, people from church helped plan and organize the ceremony, printed programs for the services, brought us army sized meals everyday, and planned a huge dinner after the funeral. Everything was taken care of and we just had to show up. Plus, all of us had a small part in the ceremony. I said a prayer. Growing up in the Mormon Church, I never thought about what non-church people do for funerals. I took it for granted that people pitch in and help you do everything.

Over the last two weeks, I have learned that quite often this is not the case. A couple of family members helped, but it is nothing compared to the breeze that my father's funeral was. When I talked to my brother about this, he laughed and said "Isn't that enough reason to start going to church again?" I just laughed. That is one thing about Mormons, they never give up on what they call "fellowshipping" someone into coming back to church.

All in all, the services were nice. The weather was hot and muggy, but a little breeze picked up. The chaplain welcomed us all. Steve's brother read a poem. I read a poem. My sister read a short story. The chaplain spoke for a little while. Finally, Steve got up to talk about his mom. He struggled through the first paragraph and then totally broke down. He tried a couple of times, but the chaplain came to his rescue and read the rest of what he had written. After the services, I picked up the food and met everyone back at the house. We had a simple meal of deli sandwiches, salads, chips, sodas, etc. There was no sign of the all too famous & yummy "funeral potatoes" that Mormons always have. I guess that was my fault. Oh well, it was nice anyway, but I am exhausted from all of the work. From now on, I vow to pitch in for funerals, especially whenever I hear of one of my non-churchy friends are in charge because it is tough. I'll even try making funeral potatoes.

Lexi's First Tooth

When I got home from work yesterday, I fed Lexi and then played with her. As I tickled her, she gave me a huge smile and I noticed that her first tooth just cut through the gums. I couldn't believe it. All babies move through the stages too quickly, but why is she a few steps ahead every time? She is going to be 5 months old in a few days. The first tooth should be in a month or so. I want to be able to enjoy every moment, but I guess I just have to adjust to light speed.

MIL's Obituary

Susan, age 60, passed away from cancer on June 17th at Treasure Coast Hospice. She was born in Pottsville, PA and lived most of her life in South Florida. For the last five years, she has been in Port St. Lucie, FL. She worked for Celeste & Associates Law Firm. Prior to that, she worked for Peggy Adams Animal Rescue League in West Palm Beach, FL.

Susan is survived by her loving husband of 41 years, George. She is the adoring mother of son Jeffrey of Port St. Lucie, FL, as well as her son and daughter-in-law Stephen & Stephanie and granddaughter Alexis of Miami, FL.

Surviving relatives include mother-in-law, Louise, of New Market, VA; sister, Carolyn, & brother-in-law, Milton, of West Hills, CA; sister-in-law, Margaret, of Springfield, VA; Aunt Angela of Foster City, CA; and cousins, Barbara & Larry, of Port St. Lucie, FL.

Memorial contributions may be made to Treasure Coast Hospices, 1201 SE Indian Street, Stuart, FL 34997. Arrangements are by Martin Funeral Home & Crematory, in Stuart, FL. Tel #: (772) 223-5550.

**She wrote this last year right after she was diagnosed with cancer. She left blanks for us to fill in.**

Feeling Beat Up

Today, I am feeling beat-up. We came back to Miami last night after 4 days of funeral planning and very little sleep. Now, it comes down to me doing a million tasks to prepare for Saturday including ordering the food, making a memory board, enlarging a picture for her portrait, coming up with songs & burning a CD, and buying the sign-in book. I basically have two evenings to do all this because we head back on Friday evening.

Speaking of feeling beat up, my poor Lexi is in rough condition. She didn't get much sleep the last few days either. She has a heat rash on her face, a diaper rash, a scratch on her nose, a busted lip from when she flipped her head forward and hit the seat belt, and a lump on the top of her head from my sister trying to take her out of the car and bumping the door. Lexi let out a few squeals, but through the last 4 days she has been her usual smiley and giggly self. Everyone says she gets it from me, but I don't know how she does it.

One more beat up that I just have to mention, the Heat beat up the Dallas Mavericks last night. Ok, so it was a close game. Steve finally stayed awake to watch. He has been in no mood for the finals even though normally there is nothing that would make him miss a game. Fortunately, this was the last one of the finals and they won. I saw the first half and then went to bed. This morning during Lexi's 5am feeding, I got to see the last quarter. All I can say is WOW!

Passed On

Around 3am, we got the call that Steve's mom had passed on. We feel a sense of relief knowing that she is no longer suffering in pain. The services aren't scheduled yet, but will probably be next weekend.

I'm Going To Dance To Your Wedding

This morning, I was driving to work and a song came on that we played at our wedding. The song is called, "I Hope You Dance." It was the song for the Groom and his Mother to dance to. In the middle of the song, they got very emotional and tears flowed. They had a special moment with all of us watching. I started thinking about a phrase that is common in the Bahamas, where Steve & I met. The locals often say, "I'm going to dance to your wedding." It is used whenever you do something nice for them or they are really excited. Now that I think about it, weddings are one of the happiest times in a person's life. Sharing that event is all about creating lasting memories. Not only was Steve able to have that special dance, but we have it on DVD and he can relive it whenever he is feeling sad.

Unfortunately with this happy memory, I also have the latest update. The doctor stopped by to check on Steve's mom this morning and determined that she only has 48 hours to live.