Incredible & Edible

This afternoon, the kids & I happened to come across a display of cakes created by a local cake decorating club.  We were all amazed.  I just had to take pictures to show them to my mom & sister.  As I was looking through them, I decided to share them on my blog too.  All I can say is WOW!  

Underlying Stress

My life is full of stress right now. Not necessarily the bad kind though, except that lots of stress makes sleeping tricky and keeps issues nagging somewhere in the back of my brain – always looming and attacking. I have been told that I have a great ability to hide stress well, which seems like a bit of a paradox when I have also been told that all of my emotions show up on my face. I guess it has more to do with the fact that I don’t complain and can easily carry on in life even when I am under pressure.

One thing I can’t do, when stressed, is blog. I am just too busy going over everything in my head and tend to be private about that until I solve it internally. Right now, my biggest concern is money (future money), which is such a boring topic really. Do we ever really have enough of it? I never do. Somehow, I always get by though.

My stress this time has more to do with moving back to Texas than anything. I’ll just say that my current income doesn't quite cover the bills much less leave money for important things such as food, gas, etc. Something big has to happen, which could be my boss hiring me full-time, keeping my part-time job and doing consultant work on the side, getting a new job that would take me away from home/kids, winning the lottery (too bad I don’t buy tickets), or another option that hasn’t yet presented itself. Of course, the first two are probably my preference. I have ideas of what I can/want/would be willing to do.  In three months, I’ll be back in Texas and dealing with this head on, so for now I am just lulling over the scenarios and dreaming of easy answers.

Valentines Cookies

A couple of weeks ago, my mom, sister and I saw a demonstration about cookie decorating.  The fun would have ended there if my sister and I were left up to it.  However, my mother was inspired.  She decided to make the sugar cookies a few days ago.  Today, she made the icing and got the two of us to help her decorate.  It was actually a lot easier than any of us imagined.  Of course, I just had to make one or two specifically for my favorite little Valentines - Lexi and Jordan. 

Change of Heart

Last November after a particularly rough week or so, my kids asked me if we could go to church. I had grown weary of searching for inexpensive ways to entertain them. This actually sounded like a good idea. The LDS church is an entire three hours on Sunday. The first hour, the whole congregation meets together. After that, they split up into classes and there is a huge program just for kids. Not only would my little ones be entertained, but I would get about 2 hours of a break, which I desperately needed.

Now, I know that is not the most honorable motivation for attending church, but as I have learned with the gym… it is not so much what gets you to go, but the actually going that is the good part. Should I even be admitting that? Probably not, but I am.

A funny thing happened that day; I realized that it wasn’t so bad. It isn’t that I ever hated going to church. However, when you are not going it is easy to think of all the reasons that you don’t want to go or don’t even like it. In fact, I enjoyed the serenity that the little break gave me.

I decided that we would attend throughout December too. There were two motivations for that – a healthy break from the kids and my love of Christmas songs/hymns. In that month, I quite enjoyed my experiences there from simple things like adult conversations, hearing about others overcoming their various struggles (simple and complex), seeing truly happy families/couples, as well as religious doctrine. I have always enjoyed studying religions.

This experience carried over into January, but instead of going mostly for the break, I was actually enjoying it. I still had some of my reservations though. One day, the class conversation sparked several personal and happy memories. My heart was immediately softened and I began to listen with more of an open mind. While, I realize that I do not understand some of the trivial things that had bothered me before, I do know following my true heart usually leads me in the right direction. Besides, no matter what, when someone is working on improving their spirituality and inner peace good things happen. I am certainly better off today than I have been in a while. I also have a better understanding of many aspects of my life.

Birthday Celebration

We celebrated my birthday with my mom and sister at the Cheesecake Factory. I love that place.  I always make sure that we get there before 5pm. That way we get the lunch portion, which is still HUGE.

Sharing a Birthday

Yesterday, I discovered that I share a birthday with one of my favorite artists, Sarah McLachlan. I especially like that she is five years older than me. Happy Birthday Sarah!

Lexi Turns Five

Today, Lexi turns five years old.  I was in bed this morning when the kids woke up.  I listened to their usual banter and wondered when she was going to remember that today is THE big day.  She has been telling everyone about for the past several months.  Surprisingly, it took about five minutes.  She got excited and suddenly announced to Jordan, "I am five today and ready for kindergarten!"  I couldn't help but laugh.  I am ready for her to go too. 

We don't have anything huge planned.  We took brownie bites to the YMCA for her to share with the kids and teachers.  She also has her annual physical this afternoon.  This evening, we're making her favorite dinner - lasagna, which will be followed by a Tangled cake.  She can't wait to taste all that hair.  She is also excited to open presents of course.

Going Gray

About a year ago, my mom started considering letting her hair go gray.  She even selected the book, “Going Gray” by Anne Kreamer, for her book club meeting.  The ladies showed up and seemed to have an interesting discussion about vanity and aging.  My mom announced to them that she was going to try it.  She planned to start by lightening her hair a few shades and then cutting it short once the roots grew in.

To be completely honest, I thought it was a horrible idea.  She looks young and has plenty of energy so why would she give up this fight?  Mainly, I also couldn’t imagine red hair sprinkled with gray.  I just thought it would kind of clash or something.  She argued that she just wanted to try it and if she discovered that she didn’t like it, she would start dying her hair again.  In our family, we give our opinions but do not get emotionally invested in the outcome and certainly never expect each other to take it.

My mom did exactly what she planned to do and guess what… it turned out just fine.  In fact, I actually think her natural red goes very well with the new blondish-gray hair.  Plus, she has quite a bit more red than I expected for someone approaching 60 years old.

A few months ago, I was surprised to find out that my aunt (dad’s sister) had also taken up the same quest. Today, she was featured in the Salt Lake Tribune: Silver Sisters Lead the Way in Gray Roots Movement.

She is the one in the middle named Barb Shelley.

The interesting thing is that I am actually glad they did this little experiment. They have paved the way for me. I have never dyed my hair, although I did lighten it once or twice in college.  I have always planned to cover up gray hair once they start taking over, but I never ever considered the alternative. At this point, I still only have one that I find once or twice a year. I mentioned it before here: Gray Hair

I saw my little gray hair the other day and promptly plucked it out.  One day though, when it comes with lots of friends, I will probably just leave it and not worry about dying it.  I'll just be happy that I can spend money and time on other things.

Type Casting for Romance

In theory, I believe it is a little sad and confining to type cast an actor or a person for that matter.  However, I realize that I don’t like movies where Robin Williams is a bad guy.  I refuse to see them because even the idea sickens me.  This week, I’ve discovered that I also don’t like to think about Enrique Iglesias as a cheater.  I finally got around to looking up one of his most recent videos on YouTube:

I don't even consider myself a big fan, but he does remind me of Miami and I can't help but smile.  The video doesn't.  It definitely does not give off warm fuzzy feelings.  After watching it, I had to go watch his older videos that are much more romantic (albeit stalker type love):

Excuse #4 for Not Dating

Excuse #4:

I guess this one is mostly about not feeling quite whole/having self-doubt.  Right now, I don't have a lot to offer. 

1. I have some debts to pay off.  Divorce isn't exactly cheap and child support hasn't been steady.  I am scraping by some months.
2. I am living with my mom and step-dad, which isn't something I feel like explaining to a potential partner (just the internet world here - whole other post).
3. Giving my time isn't even easy.  One of the most productive blocks of time for working is in the evening after the kids are in bed.  The rest of my time is devoted to them. 
4. It is tough to have meaningful telephone conversations when the kids are always getting into something or bickering in the background.  If it is difficult to talk to my friends that are moms, how would it work with a guy that I am interested in?
5. Being a single mom is exhausting and leaves little energy for anything else. 

I could probably come up with a long list, but basically it comes down to the fact that I would like someone very special or nobody.  I don't feel like I have a lot to share or the ability to attract the right guy at this time, so I'd rather be alone.