The divorce is moving along. We had to attend a Children Cope class on Saturday. Neither of us really wanted to go. I felt like it was one more thing we had to deal with in the little amount of time I have left. However, we both decided to make the most of it. This is a semi-mandatory class that is aimed at getting divorced/separated parents to understand the importance of co-parenting. Mainly, it is about putting aside your differences and communicating for the benefit of the children.
There were about 40 – 50 people in the class and only two couples. Most of the (outspoken) people had horror stories about fighting with their ex. They had also been separated for a while (1 – 2 years). Sitting in the class, I started to REALLY appreciate that we are pretty much the exception to the rule when it comes to divorce.
1. We don’t hate each other.
2. Even in this situation, we probably fight less than average married couples.
3. We are still living together.
4. We actually enjoy spending time together.
5. It is easy for us to discuss our kids.
6. People are still saying we look so HAPPY together.
I don’t want to make our divorce sound like a piece of cake. It is very difficult emotionally. Right now, we are just at a stage when I am in the acceptance phase of grieving and Steve is in the denial phase. I am horrible at being angry and quite good at forgiving and moving on. I am worried that Steve will probably move into the angry and depression phase once we are gone. The thought makes me sad for him. Then again, it is all part of dealing with it.
Today, we met with the lawyer to sign the final decree papers. They are going to call me with the court date soon. Next week will be a BIG week. Sometime between Monday & Wednesday, I have to go to court for the hearing. My sister is flying in on Tuesday. Steve’s birthday is on Thursday. Friday, I hand the keys to our place over to the tenant & head out to California. It is enough to drive anyone CRAZY! You'll have to excuse my scattered thoughts, those are the only kind I have lately.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Brighter Side of Life
Life is still going quickly in the same direction. Since there are no updates and nothing new to complain about, I decided to post a picture of the kids. They sure make life seem a lot brighter.
Wednesday, July 08, 2009
Lightning Speed
Our place was listed on the MLS on Thursday night, so things were completely crazy this weekend. It turns out that keeping it spotless isn't nearly as bad as having to evacuate every time someone wants to see it, especially around nap time. We had a showing on Saturday, two on Sunday, and three on Monday. Apparently 5 out of the 6 wanted it, which means that we should have asked for a little more. Perhaps another $50 a month. Oh well. We took the first good applicant. The realtor is running a credit & criminal background check. We should have a report by tonight. The future tenant wants to move in on August 1st, so we have approximately 3 weeks.
While this is very good news, it has also added a whole new level of stress. This makes it all very real. We have to start packing. Plus, Steve still doesn't have a job and doesn't know what he is going to do at the end of this month. That makes us both very nervous, but him more so of course. I am just glad we'll have someone giving us enough money to make our mortgage payments.
The job hunt is going fairly well considering the poor economy. Steve is great at networking and talking to anyone and everyone. He also has an amazing gift of being able to talk to strangers. I am hitting the e-mail and internet side hard. He has two companies that are interested in hiring him. Unfortunately, one of them THINKS they'll have a project for him the middle of August. The other one wants him if they get a project. Basically, the search continues...
While this is very good news, it has also added a whole new level of stress. This makes it all very real. We have to start packing. Plus, Steve still doesn't have a job and doesn't know what he is going to do at the end of this month. That makes us both very nervous, but him more so of course. I am just glad we'll have someone giving us enough money to make our mortgage payments.
The job hunt is going fairly well considering the poor economy. Steve is great at networking and talking to anyone and everyone. He also has an amazing gift of being able to talk to strangers. I am hitting the e-mail and internet side hard. He has two companies that are interested in hiring him. Unfortunately, one of them THINKS they'll have a project for him the middle of August. The other one wants him if they get a project. Basically, the search continues...
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Absolutely Immaculate
Everyone has a different standard of what they think an acceptable level of cleanliness for their house. In my mind, immaculate is the goal. In reality, I just don't have the time, energy, or motivation to keep up with my standards. Since my idea of clean for my own house is so high, I feel strange inviting people over because I never feel like it is as clean as I want it to be. However, when I visit friends or other people's houses, I am quite comfortable with a normal amount of clutter and mess. Why am I so hard on myself? I don't know. It is silly.
Today, I finally met with the realtor. It took me a while to set up the appointment because I wanted to get the house somewhere near my high standard. Steve and I have been working on it. There is still a little more deep scrubbing I want to do, but the first thing she said was "It is sooooo clean!" That is the good news. The bad news is that I have to keep it like this until it rents, which she thinks will take 30 to 40 days at the most. A completely clutter free house that is sparkling clean for that long without kids is tough. With two little ones, it is going to be a nightmare.
Should I hope & pray that we find renters quickly? The money and peace of mind would be nice, but I can't decide. I am not ready (emotionally) to pack up and go to California right away. I want the kids to spend as much time with their dad as possible (one nice thing about him not having a job). I also have to be in town for the court date. Hmmm ... we'll just take it as it goes and see what happens.
Today, I finally met with the realtor. It took me a while to set up the appointment because I wanted to get the house somewhere near my high standard. Steve and I have been working on it. There is still a little more deep scrubbing I want to do, but the first thing she said was "It is sooooo clean!" That is the good news. The bad news is that I have to keep it like this until it rents, which she thinks will take 30 to 40 days at the most. A completely clutter free house that is sparkling clean for that long without kids is tough. With two little ones, it is going to be a nightmare.
Should I hope & pray that we find renters quickly? The money and peace of mind would be nice, but I can't decide. I am not ready (emotionally) to pack up and go to California right away. I want the kids to spend as much time with their dad as possible (one nice thing about him not having a job). I also have to be in town for the court date. Hmmm ... we'll just take it as it goes and see what happens.
Friday, June 26, 2009
~Heat Wave~
With record temperatures and heat advisories, you can bet that we are quickly melting here in the Houston area. I am not writing to complain though. In a way, I am glad to be experiencing this. After spending some time in San Diego, I have realized that it never really gets hot there. In fact, my mother, sister, and step father have mentioned that they kind of miss the heat (at least a little). No matter what time of year, they have sweater weather whenever the sun goes down. I am not sure that is for me. I barely know what it is like to have sweater weather in the winter. So, I am telling myself that this heat waver is going to carry us over for a while.
To beat the heat, we have been going to our community pool (actually more like a water park) most mornings. We have been staying in during the afternoon while Jordan sleeps and I work. Then in the evenings after dinner, we usually go out to our backyard, which is completely shaded at that time. The kids eat ice cream cones and go down the slide. We also usually end up hosing them off, but mainly to clean them.
As with everything in life, this will not last. Next week, the highs are only supposed to be about 98. After this week, that will feel cool.
To beat the heat, we have been going to our community pool (actually more like a water park) most mornings. We have been staying in during the afternoon while Jordan sleeps and I work. Then in the evenings after dinner, we usually go out to our backyard, which is completely shaded at that time. The kids eat ice cream cones and go down the slide. We also usually end up hosing them off, but mainly to clean them.
As with everything in life, this will not last. Next week, the highs are only supposed to be about 98. After this week, that will feel cool.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
A New Low
Steve lost his job today. Sounds like a fun new development in our little saga, right? Now, I am dealing with filing for the divorce, terrible work deadlines, updating and sending out his resume, trying to get the house ready to put on the market to rent even faster, wondering if I'll default on a mortgage payment if finding renters takes too long, thinking about life with only my little salary coming in (no child support), worrying about health insurance for me and the kids, and trying to maintain some level of normalcy for the kids. I also heard that someone I considered a grandfather to me (my great uncle) died this week.
Does anyone have a shovel? I don't think this hole I am in is quite deep enough.
My brother warned me that divorce (even ones for good reasons) brings about huge amounts of negative karma. I guess he was right. I didn’t even mention that I was involved in a hit and run a week ago.
Does anyone have a shovel? I don't think this hole I am in is quite deep enough.
My brother warned me that divorce (even ones for good reasons) brings about huge amounts of negative karma. I guess he was right. I didn’t even mention that I was involved in a hit and run a week ago.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Summer Sun
With the start of summer and Lexi taking swim lesson, we have been spending a lot of time at the pool. My hair is already going quite blonde and my skin is tan (for me). In fact, I haven't been like this since I lived in the Bahamas for six months. I know I am the self proclaimed "freckle face girl," but the last few weeks have secured that silly title. I am COVERED with freckles. The strange thing is that I have been wearing sun block with spf 70. I would like to know how the rays get through that.
We are ALSO on our way to getting green hair. It is just one of those things that blondes have to deal with. I remember the green tint happening a few times when I was a kid. I know that is something I want to avoid. Saturday, I bought Paul Mitchell Shampoo #3, which is supposed to knock that problem out of the water.
What a summer, right? Can you imagine how attractive too many freckles & green hair would be?
We are ALSO on our way to getting green hair. It is just one of those things that blondes have to deal with. I remember the green tint happening a few times when I was a kid. I know that is something I want to avoid. Saturday, I bought Paul Mitchell Shampoo #3, which is supposed to knock that problem out of the water.
What a summer, right? Can you imagine how attractive too many freckles & green hair would be?
Tuesday, June 09, 2009
All About the Number Eight
I have been tagged to do ‘8 Things’ by Del from My Relish, so here it goes
To do list (i.e. “the rules”):
1. Mention the person who tagged me.
2. Complete the list of 8’s.
3. Tag 8 bloggers & tell them I tagged them.
Eight things I am looking forward to:
1. Spending lots of time swimming with my kids and our friends this summer
2. Having Lexi complete swim lessons. She is doing so well. I just can’t wait to see how good she’ll be at the end.
3. Visiting the BlueBell Ice Cream Factory
4. Getting past several work deadlines that are coming up
5. Taking the kids to see Disney’s “Up”
6. Going back to Sea World San Antonio
7. Catching up on housework (not the doing it part)
8. Finding people to rent our house
Eight things I did yesterday (Saturday):
1. Was invited over to some friends' house for fun and dinner
2. Enjoyed socializing with adults while the kids played
3. Made oatmeal/craisen/white chocolate cookies
4. Scrubbed the refrigerator, oven, and microwave
5. Remembered that I hadn’t paid for the storage unit that we recently got and had to throw the kids in the car and rush over there.
6. Argued with Lexi about what she was going to wear (everyday)
7. Combed Lexi’s hair while she screamed (everyday)
8. Carried the sleeping kids in from the car after a late night of fun
Eight things I wish I could do:
1. Travel a LOT more, especially internationally
2. Sleep 7 to 8 hours a night at least once a week
3. Be independently wealthy (wishing…)
4. Fluently speak several foreign languages including Spanish, French, Japanese, Arabic, & Mandarin Chinese
5. Live as an Expat again
6. Save enough money for my kids’ college funds
7. Have the kind of body that I would want to show off
8. Find time for the things I like to do not just for the things I have to do
Eight shows I watch:
1. You Are What You Eat
2. Lie To Me
3. Bones
4. Any Dream Will Do
5. Monk
6. Psyche
7. HBO…
8. HBO… (this is the toughest list for me b/c I don’t watch very much tv)
Eight favorite fruits:
1. Cherries
2. Watermelon
3. Cantaloupe
4. Honeydew
5. Fuji Apples
6. Grapes
7. Strawberries
8. Mangos
Eight places I’d like to travel:
1. Morrocco
2. Greece
3. Peru
4. Australia
5. Japan
6. China
7. India
8. Alaska
Eight places I’ve lived:
1. Provo, Utah
2. Savannah, Georgia
3. Melbourne, Florida
4. Katy, Texas
5. Doha, Qatar
6. Miami, Florida
7. Little Stirrup Cay, Bahamas
8. Soon…La Jolla, CA
People I’ve tagged:
The Princess & Johnsy
Jeanette
Annette
Aimee
Anna
Reformatting My Brain
The Diva
Carmen
To do list (i.e. “the rules”):
1. Mention the person who tagged me.
2. Complete the list of 8’s.
3. Tag 8 bloggers & tell them I tagged them.
Eight things I am looking forward to:
1. Spending lots of time swimming with my kids and our friends this summer
2. Having Lexi complete swim lessons. She is doing so well. I just can’t wait to see how good she’ll be at the end.
3. Visiting the BlueBell Ice Cream Factory
4. Getting past several work deadlines that are coming up
5. Taking the kids to see Disney’s “Up”
6. Going back to Sea World San Antonio
7. Catching up on housework (not the doing it part)
8. Finding people to rent our house
Eight things I did yesterday (Saturday):
1. Was invited over to some friends' house for fun and dinner
2. Enjoyed socializing with adults while the kids played
3. Made oatmeal/craisen/white chocolate cookies
4. Scrubbed the refrigerator, oven, and microwave
5. Remembered that I hadn’t paid for the storage unit that we recently got and had to throw the kids in the car and rush over there.
6. Argued with Lexi about what she was going to wear (everyday)
7. Combed Lexi’s hair while she screamed (everyday)
8. Carried the sleeping kids in from the car after a late night of fun
Eight things I wish I could do:
1. Travel a LOT more, especially internationally
2. Sleep 7 to 8 hours a night at least once a week
3. Be independently wealthy (wishing…)
4. Fluently speak several foreign languages including Spanish, French, Japanese, Arabic, & Mandarin Chinese
5. Live as an Expat again
6. Save enough money for my kids’ college funds
7. Have the kind of body that I would want to show off
8. Find time for the things I like to do not just for the things I have to do
Eight shows I watch:
1. You Are What You Eat
2. Lie To Me
3. Bones
4. Any Dream Will Do
5. Monk
6. Psyche
7. HBO…
8. HBO… (this is the toughest list for me b/c I don’t watch very much tv)
Eight favorite fruits:
1. Cherries
2. Watermelon
3. Cantaloupe
4. Honeydew
5. Fuji Apples
6. Grapes
7. Strawberries
8. Mangos
Eight places I’d like to travel:
1. Morrocco
2. Greece
3. Peru
4. Australia
5. Japan
6. China
7. India
8. Alaska
Eight places I’ve lived:
1. Provo, Utah
2. Savannah, Georgia
3. Melbourne, Florida
4. Katy, Texas
5. Doha, Qatar
6. Miami, Florida
7. Little Stirrup Cay, Bahamas
8. Soon…La Jolla, CA
People I’ve tagged:
The Princess & Johnsy
Jeanette
Annette
Aimee
Anna
Reformatting My Brain
The Diva
Carmen
Friday, June 05, 2009
Hand-Me-Downs
A few weeks ago, I started going through the kids’ old clothes and toys. I pulled out Lexi’s nicer clothes and decided to give them to a friend who has a two year old. Since then, I have seen her wearing a few of the outfits. I had no idea how happy it would make me to see her in the clothes. She is a cute little blonde and easily reminds me of Lexi at that age. It is funny that something so simple can bring back such fond memories.
Tuesday, June 02, 2009
Reactions to Divorce Announcement
One of the most difficult things about divorce is telling everyone the news. In general, I just don't bring it up. I've tried to share the news with some friends and family. When it comes to acquaintances though, I can't seem to throw it out there. It seems to start a conversation that shocks and saddens those around me. This is one of those times when I wish a busy body would spread it around for me. Here are a few of the comments I've heard:
...But, you have such a beautiful family.
Why? He loves you and the kids so much.
God hates divorce because it breaks up the family.
I bet he’ll win you back after a year.
That tall gorgeous guy?
You’ll find somebody and get married again soon.
Are you on birth control? (by an older man, who I am not comfortable discussing these things with)
It is good to do it while the kids are so young.
Couples need to wait until they have been married for twenty years. It gets easier after that.
...But, you two work so well together.
That is SOOOOO shocking. I just can't believe it.
I should say that most friends have said, "I am sorry to hear that. Is there anything I can do to help you?" I know it isn't easy hearing news like that, which is probably why it is difficult to share it. I am confident that my decision is the right one, but I know it affects more people than just our immediate family. I also feel sorry for everyone else.
...But, you have such a beautiful family.
Why? He loves you and the kids so much.
God hates divorce because it breaks up the family.
I bet he’ll win you back after a year.
That tall gorgeous guy?
You’ll find somebody and get married again soon.
Are you on birth control? (by an older man, who I am not comfortable discussing these things with)
It is good to do it while the kids are so young.
Couples need to wait until they have been married for twenty years. It gets easier after that.
...But, you two work so well together.
That is SOOOOO shocking. I just can't believe it.
I should say that most friends have said, "I am sorry to hear that. Is there anything I can do to help you?" I know it isn't easy hearing news like that, which is probably why it is difficult to share it. I am confident that my decision is the right one, but I know it affects more people than just our immediate family. I also feel sorry for everyone else.
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